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Man, this is a quiet group - time for Santa Humor
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Man, this is a quiet group - time for Santa Humor
by InaB 14/12/12, 11:41 am
Here you go!!! I don't promise these are good, but groaning is as good as laughing!
Q. Where does a snowman keep his money?
A. In a snow bank.
Q. What do they sing under the ocean during the winter?
A. Christmas Corals!
Q. How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?
A. Nothing, it was on the house!
Q. Who says "Oh, Oh, Oh!"?
A. Santa walking backwards!
Q. What's a good holiday tip?
A. Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.
Q. What Christmas carol is a favorite of parents?
A. Silent Night.
Q. What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A. A puddle!
Q. What does Santa clean his sleigh with?
A. Comet.
Q. Why is Santa so good at karate?
A. Because he has a black belt!
Q. Why did the elf push his bed into the fireplace?
A. Because he wanted to sleep like a log!
Q. What do elves learn in school?
A. The elf-abet.
Q. If athletes get athlete's foot, then what do astronauts get?
A. Missile-toe.
Q. What do you get when you cross a cat with Santa Claus?
A. Santa-Claws!
Q. What do you get when you eat Christmas decorations?
A. Tinsilitis!
Q. What did the monkey sing on Christmas day?
A. Jungle bells, Jungle bells...
Q. What do you get if you cross an apple and a Christmas tree?
A. Pineapple.
Q. How do you know when Santa's in the room?
A. You can sense his presents.
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Snow
Snow who?
Snow use. I forgot my name again!
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Irish.
Irish who?
Irish you a Merry Christmas!
The TV game show was really close. One contestant was asked to name 2 of Santa's reindeer. The contestant gave a sigh thinking that he had finally been given an easy question, "Rudolph and Olive!"
The host said to the contestant, "We'll accept Rudolph but can you explain Olive?"
The man looked at the host and said, "You know, 'Olive' the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names..."
Q. Where does a snowman keep his money?
A. In a snow bank.
Q. What do they sing under the ocean during the winter?
A. Christmas Corals!
Q. How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?
A. Nothing, it was on the house!
Q. Who says "Oh, Oh, Oh!"?
A. Santa walking backwards!
Q. What's a good holiday tip?
A. Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.
Q. What Christmas carol is a favorite of parents?
A. Silent Night.
Q. What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A. A puddle!
Q. What does Santa clean his sleigh with?
A. Comet.
Q. Why is Santa so good at karate?
A. Because he has a black belt!
Q. Why did the elf push his bed into the fireplace?
A. Because he wanted to sleep like a log!
Q. What do elves learn in school?
A. The elf-abet.
Q. If athletes get athlete's foot, then what do astronauts get?
A. Missile-toe.
Q. What do you get when you cross a cat with Santa Claus?
A. Santa-Claws!
Q. What do you get when you eat Christmas decorations?
A. Tinsilitis!
Q. What did the monkey sing on Christmas day?
A. Jungle bells, Jungle bells...
Q. What do you get if you cross an apple and a Christmas tree?
A. Pineapple.
Q. How do you know when Santa's in the room?
A. You can sense his presents.
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Snow
Snow who?
Snow use. I forgot my name again!
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Irish.
Irish who?
Irish you a Merry Christmas!
The TV game show was really close. One contestant was asked to name 2 of Santa's reindeer. The contestant gave a sigh thinking that he had finally been given an easy question, "Rudolph and Olive!"
The host said to the contestant, "We'll accept Rudolph but can you explain Olive?"
The man looked at the host and said, "You know, 'Olive' the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names..."
InaB- Original Supporting Member
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Age : 78
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dadof3- TxSoccer Addict
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Location : McKinney
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