How do you stay sane as a parent in youth soccer?

FCF0910 wrote:My 7 year old daughter had a tournament over the weekend and the majority of the games were at The Pit Plano. That being said, I found myself beyond stressed with every part of the process, ha. Driving 45 mins in opposite directions all weekend, parking in a lot that looks like it was built for maybe 30 cars total but fields designed for 500+. Parents who are all stressed beyond belief watching (and screaming) at their 7 year old, which most of them look like it's their first time playing 7v7 and they have pretty much no idea where to be, let alone the goalie, who bless her heart everything is riding on now and it's the first time she's put gloves on. As I say all of this I also realize I am not innocent in anything I've said above either. But that's why I'm asking, how do you stay sane? How do you swallow your tongue as the parents of the other team are screaming at the ref because he may or may not have missed a really close call that ultimately wouldn't have made a any difference in the outcome of the game that they were already winning 7-1 with 3 mins left in the game?

Is the answer just bring the cooler?
I'm assuming it only gets worse from here so I should probably suck it up and either get used to it or of course, control what I can control - myself.

DeltaTauChi wrote:Welcome to competitive youth sports in NTX! You are now officially part of the dark side.

Truth is, you pretty much answered your own question.  Start with controlling what you can control.  Make your kid proud to play in front of you by being there, being supportive, and not becoming a sideline spectacle in a negative way.

If your kid sticks with this, you are going to see all different levels of bad behavior and BSC (Bat $#!+ Crazy) parents.  Heck, anyone who is on this forum on any kind of a regular basis has some level of BSC in them, myself included.  You will also see a lot of good behavior, and quite possibly both you and your kids will build some lasting friendships through your shared experiences.

Always remember that YOU are your kid's #1 advocate, BUT to be an effective advocate, you need to maintain objectivity and perspective about your kid's ability, and what your kid's ultimate goals are with sport.  If you can do this, the benefits of competitive sport (even competitive soccer in NTX), are tremendous:  self-confidence, teamwork, winning and losing with grace, overcoming adversity, dealing with conflict, how to work hard to excel at something they are passionate about, and so on, and so on...

All the other stuff is mostly noise and teachable moments.

boilerjoe_96 wrote:I think best way to stay sane is to get on FB, throw shots at other teams(that you haven't played in 20 months) or call out  coaches that(rightfully) dont accept your kid who is 5 and has been w 4 teams.  Wait, maybe I have this thought process backwards?

DeltaTauChi wrote:

boilerjoe_96 wrote:I think best way to stay sane is to get on FB, throw shots at other teams(that you haven't played in 20 months) or call out  coaches that(rightfully) dont accept your kid who is 5 and has been w 4 teams.  Wait, maybe I have this thought process backwards?

What the hell did you expect???  Your 5 year old couldn't pull off a Zico or a Maradonna and couldn't one-touch and two-touch pass with proper weight.  

5050Ball wrote:I'm guessing U8?  At ulittle ages, every kid still has a shot at the USWNT and the University of her choice and parents are convinced they are a critical part of making that happen.  You will also see an awful lot of the 'us vs them' mentality.  My coach/club/kid is better than your coach/club/kid.  As if there is only so much success to go around.  Hence the high stress levels on the sideline.

When I refereed ulittles many moons ago, I found the craziness peaked at U10-11.  If its still the same, you're in for a few more years of it.

Somewhere later in the process (and it varies by individual-a few never get it) parents begin to realize that other than transportation and moral support, they actually have very little positive impact on the kid's development.  The kid's natural gifts, the training she receives, her sheer enjoyment of playing and most importantly, her inner drive to succeed (NOT the parents) are what drive the development curve.  I've seen hundreds of kids blossom once the parents let go. And conversely, countless give up the game when they don't.  

The good news as Delta and E alluded to is it definitely gets better.  I'm on number 4 and from a parent perspective the older sidelines are actually quite enjoyable.  Most parents have long since learned to be objective.  We also know most of the folks on most of the teams.  The kids have all played with one another somewhere over the years.  It's not hard to root for all the kids to do well.