joel lilavois

Just returned home from Joel's Funeral Mass, and although there was a lot of soccer talent in the room, there was also a lot of character in the room (and characters!). The often repeated story from every father who spoke was, "I took my kids to Joel for training, and I got a friend in the bargain."

My wife and children and I were trying to identify some of the qualities that made Joel's teaching so effective, and one of the points made was that he treated the kids like adults. Parents will always treat their children as their children (as they should), and school teachers are trained to relate to the children at what ever point in their development they are (first graders, freshman, etc), but Joel took the leap of faith and determined to relate to the children as beings responsible for their own soccer development. Not every child could handle this, but those who could are members of a unique group.

I challenged my kids to honor Joel's memory by trying to live up to his expectations every day, both on and off the soccer pitch.

Joel was demanding with high expectations, but no bully. He knew how to tell a player where they needed work and then could motivate them to do the work. Even if he had been tough in a session, I have never seen him unkind to a player after training. While he could push players hard to excel, you never lost the feeling he truly cared about the players who trained with him. He cared about player development without his ego getting into the tangle. Qualities lacking in far too many coaches.