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Parents and thier Sidelines

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Parents and thier Sidelines Empty Parents and thier Sidelines

Post by SocDad 25/07/14, 11:30 am

I experienced a game to where all of the parents...both Teams parents....were comigled together and they were only on one side (or Half).  The other half of the sideline was just about empty.

I found this to be quite odd.  Maybe it was the way everyone entered the field and the way the field was layed out?  Maybe parents just got lazy and said "...ok thats enough walking...im sitting here...its HOT out".

Then during the game....I overheard 1 parent say to another parent of the same team "...I wish they would go to thier side of the field" (of course this was after the opposing team scored)

Then a parent from the other team said ".....Oh yeah, which side would that be"?  I laughed my ar$e off.

But seriously....don't we have expected sides to sit on?  Isn't there a common Etiquite as to what is supposed to be the corect side to sit on?
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Post by tigerdad 25/07/14, 11:32 am

Yes, you sit across from your team's bench.
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Post by boilerjoe_96 25/07/14, 11:46 am

I am still amazed that visiting teams show up with White uniforms on... so the home team has to change... sigh...lots of clueless people in this world....
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Post by legitsoccermom 25/07/14, 12:18 pm

I also believe that that if you do brave into enemy territory, lets say to take pictures, get a better look, then have some respect for the other parents.
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Post by Coach&Ref 25/07/14, 01:42 pm

SocDad wrote:I experienced a game to where all of the parents...both Teams parents....were comigled together and they were only on one side (or Half).  The other half of the sideline was just about empty.

I found this to be quite odd.  Maybe it was the way everyone entered the field and the way the field was layed out?  Maybe parents just got lazy and said "...ok thats enough walking...im sitting here...its HOT out".

Then during the game....I overheard 1 parent say to another parent of the same team "...I wish they would go to thier side of the field" (of course this was after the opposing team scored)

Then a parent from the other team said ".....Oh yeah, which side would that be"?  I laughed my ar$e off.

But seriously....don't we have expected sides to sit on?  Isn't there a common Etiquite as to what is supposed to be the corect side to sit on?

Who cares where anyone sits? Seriously, if you keep yourself in check, then why does it matter?

I don't care and even applaud the other team for good goals, plays, etc. I'm not jumping up and down, cheering for either team, but might say something like, "good ball" or "great finish" even for the opposing team. It's a game and you have to respect the skill and plays of the other team as well as your own..

Keep control of yourself, let the ref call the game (whether good or bad), and watch the game.
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Post by turftoe9 25/07/14, 01:50 pm

Of course you would say let the ref call the game Laughing 
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Post by Coach&Ref 25/07/14, 02:13 pm

turftoe9 wrote:Of course you would say let the ref call the game Laughing 

HAHA!

Iv'e had plenty of bad games throughout the many years I have been reffing!

The most sage advice I have ever received many years ago from a grade 4 ref was, "The key to refereeing a game is consistency. Be either consistently good or consistently bad and you will be ok." LOL!

I don't really know what's worse: parents who are unfamiliar with the LOTG and scream, gripe and moan over ignorance, or me knowing the LOTG and seeing a horrible call that I really couldn't understand what the ref was thinking, even though I try to crawl in his head to determine why he either called or didn't call something.
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Post by Guest 25/07/14, 02:16 pm

"Who cares where anyone sits? Seriously, if you keep yourself in check, then why does it matter? "

I care, dont be a d-bag, sit on your own side.....

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Post by Coach&Ref 25/07/14, 02:21 pm

silentparent wrote:"Who cares where anyone sits? Seriously, if you keep yourself in check, then why does it matter? "

I care, dont be a d-bag, sit on your own side.....

Well, that is always an option.

Sit on your side and be a d-bag to your heart's content. Makes for a great game!

Good plan!
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Post by Guest 25/07/14, 02:27 pm

Coach&Ref wrote:
silentparent wrote:"Who cares where anyone sits? Seriously, if you keep yourself in check, then why does it matter? "

I care, dont be a d-bag, sit on your own side.....

Well, that is always an option.

Sit on your side and be a d-bag to your heart's content. Makes for a great game!

Good plan!

yep, stay on your side and be obnoxious, NOT ON OUR SIDE. I dont want to hear your comments next to me that we are dirty, that was a foul, you telling your girl to take our players out etc...

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Post by SocDad 25/07/14, 02:29 pm

So most parents of Keepers experience this....

Most GKeeper parents go to each end of the field that thier kid is playing and watch/critique.....and most are aware of the fact that 1/2 the game there in Hositle territory.

As for myself....I only critique my GK DD when the ball is on the opposite side of the field....or try to do so when the pressure is not on them.
2 years ago, I found out the hard way.....when I was cheering and calling out for my own team.  I got so caught up in the game that I forgot which side I was on...
I had quite a few opposing team parents tell me a few things (more like YELL). Smile

I simply acknowledged it and ....from then on, I made sure to respect thier side (giving how serious us parents take this Soccer thing and all)
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Post by SocDad 25/07/14, 02:32 pm

silentparent wrote:
Coach&Ref wrote:
silentparent wrote:"Who cares where anyone sits? Seriously, if you keep yourself in check, then why does it matter? "

I care, dont be a d-bag, sit on your own side.....

Well, that is always an option.

Sit on your side and be a d-bag to your heart's content. Makes for a great game!

Good plan!

yep, stay on your side and be obnoxious, NOT ON OUR SIDE. I dont want to hear your comments next to me that we are dirty, that was a foul, you telling your girl to take our players out etc...

Just to follow up on what SP is saying.....
I hear stuff like this all the time......I just shake my head and chuckle
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Post by Coach&Ref 25/07/14, 02:50 pm

silentparent wrote:
Coach&Ref wrote:
silentparent wrote:"Who cares where anyone sits? Seriously, if you keep yourself in check, then why does it matter? "

I care, dont be a d-bag, sit on your own side.....

Well, that is always an option.

Sit on your side and be a d-bag to your heart's content. Makes for a great game!

Good plan!

yep, stay on your side and be obnoxious, NOT ON OUR SIDE. I dont want to hear your comments next to me that we are dirty, that was a foul, you telling your girl to take our players out etc...

Actually it makes it much easier on the center ref if you do sit on your own side. Obnoxious comments towards my ARs, persistent derogatory comments towards me, etc. allows me to control the games much better. It's virtually impossible to identify people on the sideline while trying to pay attention to the game, so my course of action is to simply wait until there is a stoppage in play, approach the coach and let him know that if he can't control his parents immediately, then he is gone. It's his responsibility to do so.

If he goes and the abuse continues, then I'll just clear the offending sideline. Refusal of parents to leave, will result in calling a Field Marshall over to expedite my decision in order to get the game restarted. It doesn't matter if everyone complains to the ref assignor, etc. They will always take the ref's side especially since parents have been issued a code of conduct, so they have no recourse. Throwing out of the coaches because of parents has only happened a few times for me, but they are usually able to control their parents after the warning. Clearing the sidelines has only happened once, but it has happened.

People complain about the lack of refs, especially quality ones, but who would want to even take the job with the amount of crap they hear regardless if it a bad call or just one that the affected parents don't agree with. Most stems from ignorance of parents who don't understand one big LOTG which is playing ADVANTAGE. Look it up if you don't understand it.
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Post by Seven 25/07/14, 02:57 pm

Coach&Ref wrote:
silentparent wrote:
Coach&Ref wrote:
silentparent wrote:"Who cares where anyone sits? Seriously, if you keep yourself in check, then why does it matter? "

I care, dont be a d-bag, sit on your own side.....

Well, that is always an option.

Sit on your side and be a d-bag to your heart's content. Makes for a great game!

Good plan!

yep, stay on your side and be obnoxious, NOT ON OUR SIDE. I dont want to hear your comments next to me that we are dirty, that was a foul, you telling your girl to take our players out etc...

Actually it makes it much easier on the center ref if you do sit on your own side. Obnoxious comments towards my ARs, persistent derogatory comments towards me, etc. allows me to control the games much better. It's virtually impossible to identify people on the sideline while trying to pay attention to the game, so my course of action is to simply wait until there is a stoppage in play, approach the coach and let him know that if he can't control his parents immediately, then he is gone. It's his responsibility to do so.

If he goes and the abuse continues, then I'll just clear the offending sideline. Refusal of parents to leave, will result in calling a Field Marshall over to expedite my decision in order to get the game restarted. It doesn't matter if everyone complains to the ref assignor, etc. They will always take the ref's side especially since parents have been issued a code of conduct, so they have no recourse. Throwing out of the coaches because of parents has only happened a few times for me, but they are usually able to control their parents after the warning. Clearing the sidelines has only happened once, but it has happened.

People complain about the lack of refs, especially quality ones, but who would want to even take the job with the amount of crap they hear regardless if it a bad call or just one that the affected parents don't agree with. Most stems from ignorance of parents who don't understand one big LOTG which is playing ADVANTAGE. Look it up if you don't understand it.



Who do you see about getting the ref thrown out? scratch
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Post by Coach&Ref 25/07/14, 03:01 pm


Who do you see about getting the ref thrown out? scratch

No one.

Who would replace them? Leagues and tourneys are already constantly scrambling to even get refs, Who would replace one?

Just ask yourself why a lot of refs quit.  Very Happy
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Post by upper95 25/07/14, 04:02 pm

boilerjoe_96 wrote:I am still amazed that visiting teams show up with White uniforms on... so the home team has to change... sigh...lots of clueless people in this world....

Seems the same set of tournament rules has been borrowed over and over.  "Home team shall wear white or lighter color and visiting team will wear dark or darker color.  In case of conflict home team shall change."  No 
Tournament directors need to delete the contradicting statement.

Yes visiting teams will game the system and show up in white so the home team has to change, just to mess with them, or to have the advantage by wearing white in 100 degree weather.


Last edited by upper95 on 25/07/14, 04:06 pm; edited 2 times in total (Reason for editing : word)

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Post by FierceLightning 25/07/14, 04:37 pm

Coach&Ref wrote:

Who do you see about getting the ref thrown out? scratch

No one.

Who would replace them? Leagues and tourneys are already constantly scrambling to even get refs, Who would replace one?

Just ask yourself why a lot of refs quit.  Very Happy

Once, in my youthful naivete, I reffed a Women's adult softball game......Never Again!! pale 

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Post by InaB 25/07/14, 04:42 pm

OK, I agree that parents should contain themselves as should players. I have seen both get totally out of line. I will be the first to admit that I scream for my team and player. But I scream for all the players on our team in a positive manner. I have known parents (even on our team) who yell at the girls in a more negative way (love it when a team parent yells out What were you thinking). I don't mind the other parents yelling for their players. What I don't like to hear are things like, "take her out, knock her down, do what you have to do and stop her." I have heard this from parents and coaches alike. I have also heard it from the girls on the field. In one game two girls from the opponent team yelled out to kick my DD's ankle because it has been injured already.

I had a couple of grandparents yell at their GDD to take care of the trash.

These are the kinds of things that create issues. Just as bad are the comments to the refs. I willingly admit to muttering aloud sometimes, but I try not to say anything so loud as to be heard. I have questioned a line ref about a ref call because I didn't understand why the call was made. Handball seems to be one of those calls that are made differently by different refs.

I think both sets of parents need to be mindful and respectful of space. If you don't want to have your head ripped off by some upset parent, please don't stand behind the opponent parents and create drama on purpose.

I agree that too often, parents don't understand all the rules of the game, I can say that I learn something new every game (sometines). I have considered bringing a FIFA rule book with me to games just to understand calls.  Very Happy 
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Post by Five 0 25/07/14, 05:29 pm

Just accept it....Every team has more than one parent that talk with their A$$ and cant shut up on sideline......It wouldn't be soccer...

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Post by Coach&Ref 25/07/14, 05:35 pm

InaB wrote:I have questioned a line ref about a ref call because I didn't understand why the call was made. Handball seems to be one of those calls that are made differently by different refs.

I think both sets of parents need to be mindful and respectful of space. If you don't want to have your head ripped off by some upset parent, please don't stand behind the opponent parents and create drama on purpose.

I agree that too often, parents don't understand all the rules of the game, I can say that I learn something new every game (sometines). I have considered bringing a FIFA rule book with me to games just to understand calls.  Very Happy 

We don't use FIFA in the U.S. We use USSF LOTG (not that there are very many differences and those are often minor. The only thing I have really noticed is that the USSF lags behind FIFA a bit after FIFA makes a new ruling on something). If you brought a FIFA ref, you'd still be better off than 99.99% of people! In fact, the only minor differences you may have come across if you watch a ton of FIFA soccer is the slight offside change. Before, it used to be more vague when a ball was played in the general direction of an attacker in an offside position and it looked like he could have possibly have been the target, then it was usually called. Now the refs wait longer to see if the player actually actively goes for the ball or touches it in an attempt to play it. This is a BIG generalization to the slight change to the offside law, but if you watch closely, you can see refs waiting a bit longer. Also, the dumb rule that FIFA has about the color of tape on socks. To me, it's just weird.

The handballs ("handling" is actually what its called) is a VERY difficult call in most instances. A ton of things that have to go through a ref's mind the instant something occurs are things like: was the player trying to protect his/her chest/face/privates, etc. with very little reaction time, is the arm trying to move away from the ball, did the player gain advantage of the ball striking the arm, how much time the player had to judge the distance of the ball (was it struck from point blank or 20yds out), was the arm considered to be in an "unnatural soccer position". There are a few more, but these are examples.

Handling is one of THE hardest calls to make.

All of those points are great, InaB. I was just trying to shed some light on some of the craziness involved in making snap decisions and other minor things you may have noticed about the USSF LOTG versus FIFA.
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Post by Gunner9 25/07/14, 05:57 pm

Coach&Ref wrote: Now the refs wait longer to see if the player actually actively goes for the ball or touches it in an attempt to play it.

Watched a QT game last night that was very well-officiated by all 3. On one particular offside call, the AR did just that: waited to see if the forward was actively involved in the play. Meanwhile, the defending team's sideline is screaming "offsides, offsides, offsides!!!!". When he put the flag up (at the appropriate moment, btw), one rather vociferous fellow yelled out, "Damn, took 10 seconds to make the call!! What's the matter with you?"........sometimes you just can't win  Rolling Eyes 
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Post by the7wolf 25/07/14, 06:28 pm

upper95 wrote:
boilerjoe_96 wrote:I am still amazed that visiting teams show up with White uniforms on... so the home team has to change... sigh...lots of clueless people in this world....

Seems the same set of tournament rules has been borrowed over and over.  "Home team shall wear white or lighter color and visiting team will wear dark or darker color.  In case of conflict home team shall change."  No 
Tournament directors need to delete the contradicting statement.

Yes visiting teams will game the system and show up in white so the home team has to change, just to mess with them, or to have the advantage by wearing white in 100 degree weather.

Agreed. Been thoroughly tired of this tactic over the years. Teams just wear white although they have their dark jerseys and f.orce you to change.

If you're the away team, wear your freaking dark jersey or wear vests.


Last edited by the7wolf on 25/07/14, 06:33 pm; edited 2 times in total
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Post by Its Me 25/07/14, 06:29 pm

Its called ignorance!  
Ref you're correct most parents don't understand all the things you have to consider within a few seconds to make an accurate but good call.  If you hit your whistle to early then some will yell, "We had an advantage what are you doing?"
All and all you just have to overlook the parents because of their lack of knowledge of the game.
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Post by InaB 25/07/14, 09:46 pm

Thanks for the insight Ref. I will read up on the rules. I have one question for you on a call in a Houston tournament. My dd was inside the goal box behind her mark. The mark suddenly pushed back hard as the ball was passed and knocked hard into my dd (deliberately it seemed ) and then turned slightly. She then jumped back as if she had been struck and fell yelling to the ground. The Ref called a foul on my dd for impeading the player. The other team was awarded a pk which they made. I had never heard of this before. So what made the Ref call this?
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Post by InaB 25/07/14, 09:48 pm

BTW my dd came back and made the tying goal in the last five minutes to go. We went on to win the division. So in the end the call made my dd determined to score.
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