Good Article

Good read.  Probably hits home with some NTX Soccer Parents

http://experiencelife.com/article/putting-kids-and-fun-back-into-kids-sports/#.U_yiconStKN.favorites

canaryman wrote:Good read.  Probably hits home with some NTX Soccer Parents

http://experiencelife.com/article/putting-kids-and-fun-back-into-kids-sports/#.U_yiconStKN.favorites

Good read...

Interesting article.

Assuming you agree with the article, it would seem that LHGCL promotion / relegation process seems to encourage and align closely with what they indicate is broken and / or what are the problems.

Key to the article:

“If you get a high-achieving, talented kid with a pushy, high-achieving parent, it can work out,” says Saferstein. “The kid can somehow rise to the expectations of the parent, and the kid may even share some of that drive himself.

"What can be tragic, though, is when you get a more driven, consumed parent with a kid who somehow, in the parent’s eyes, just doesn’t measure up.” The result, says Saferstein, extends further than sports: “The kid feels like a failure.”

Parents often misperceive their child’s natural talent. “There’s a myth in youth sports that if you work hard enough, you can achieve anything,” he says. “It’s not true.”

But that can be hard for a parent to realize. So, instead, the parent throws money at the situation while pressuring his or her kid, ignoring the fact that the child might have a natural ceiling."

My favorite quote from the article-

“It’s the introduction of adult values into kids’ games,” says O’Sullivan, author of Changing the Game. “When I grew up, it was children competing against children. Now, more often than not, it’s adults competing against other adults through their children.”

This is what I can't stand about this forum in general. Parents appear to give status to themselves or others based upon their daughter's playing ability. An example I have seen lately and can point to is one parent dismissing another's viewpoints as somehow carrying less value because their daughter plays rec (Oh he's just a rec parent). Meanwhile that "rec parent" may have a PhD and earn 3 times what the Elite parent does. But here none of that matters. In this way, this forum is simply a platform for those parents of talented young ladies to exploit their daughters ability for their own self gratification.

Also,

"One of the most common errors in youth sports is coaches confusing maturity with talent. Just because a kid is bigger than teammates doesn’t necessarily mean he or she is more talented."

Very good article & worth the read.  There is another one right below it that provides insight from a player's perspective.  This quote stood out for me.
---
There are dark sides, of course. Parents yell. I’ve seen parents almost get in a fight on the sidelines. My dad gets very, very passionate during games. When I was younger, if I played a bad game, my dad and I wouldn’t really talk for a couple days. I used to get nervous before games. Butterflies in my stomach. I wouldn’t eat. Back then I was playing not as much for myself but to impress my dad. I was scared of what his reaction would be if I played a bad game. So I played timid. I didn’t play confident. It was a few years ago that I thought, “I have to snap out of this. I can’t play for my dad anymore, I have to play for me.” I started playing for my teammates, myself, my coaches.

Soccapeeps wrote:Also,

"One of the most common errors in youth sports is coaches confusing maturity with talent. Just because a kid is bigger than teammates doesn’t necessarily mean he or she is more talented."

Agree with the quote, related to 'talent', but depending on how the game is called, bigger can equate to 'effectiveness' in winning.

dreadpirateroberts wrote:My favorite quote from the article-

“It’s the introduction of adult values into kids’ games,” says O’Sullivan, author of Changing the Game. “When I grew up, it was children competing against children. Now, more often than not, it’s adults competing against other adults through their children.”

This is what I can't stand about this forum in general.  Parents appear to give status to themselves or others based upon their daughter's playing ability. An example I have seen lately and can point to is one parent dismissing another's viewpoints as somehow carrying less value because their daughter plays rec (Oh he's just a rec parent).  Meanwhile that "rec parent" may have a PhD and earn 3 times what the Elite parent does. But here none of that matters.  In this way, this forum is simply a platform for those parents of talented young ladies to exploit their daughters ability for their own self gratification.

And most unfortunately, this forum is only the tip of that NTX iceberg... you can hear it during practices, on the sidelines and in general conversation throughout the soccer community day in and day out...

What's funny is I was reading all the predictions and chest thumping about pld on the other thread...which a lot is in good fun. Then I thought about my dd s first day of school yesterday. Her thoughts were on who's in my class, will this be a fun year etc....nothing about pld or lhs or who's gonna win what. Probably true for most 10 yr olds. Soccer is a big part of her life but its not the only part. This board is a fun time killer. But I bet we all talk about soccer more in 1 day on this board than the kids do all week.

It sure is fun to screw with people on this board though.

Now back to the sarcasm.

soccerjack wrote:What's funny is I was reading all the predictions and chest thumping about pld on the other thread...which a lot is in good fun. Then I thought about my dd s first day of school yesterday. Her thoughts were on who's in my class, will this be a fun year etc....nothing about pld or lhs or who's gonna win what. Probably true for most 10 yr olds. Soccer is a big part of her life but its not the only part.  This board is a fun time killer. But I bet we all talk about soccer more in 1 day on this board than the kids do all week.  

It sure is fun to screw with people on this board though.

Now back to the sarcasm.

Sure IS!!! Sarcasm, just another service I provide!!!

SoccerShocker wrote:

soccerjack wrote:What's funny is I was reading all the predictions and chest thumping about pld on the other thread...which a lot is in good fun. Then I thought about my dd s first day of school yesterday. Her thoughts were on who's in my class, will this be a fun year etc....nothing about pld or lhs or who's gonna win what. Probably true for most 10 yr olds. Soccer is a big part of her life but its not the only part.  This board is a fun time killer. But I bet we all talk about soccer more in 1 day on this board than the kids do all week.  

It sure is fun to screw with people on this board though.

Now back to the sarcasm.

Sure IS!!!  Sarcasm, just another service I provide!!!

Well I meant that towards myself, but you appear to be a jacka$$ also. Let's head over to the PLD board and antagonize GO.

dreadpirateroberts wrote:My favorite quote from the article-

“It’s the introduction of adult values into kids’ games,” says O’Sullivan, author of Changing the Game. “When I grew up, it was children competing against children. Now, more often than not, it’s adults competing against other adults through their children.”

This is what I can't stand about this forum in general.  Parents appear to give status to themselves or others based upon their daughter's playing ability. An example I have seen lately and can point to is one parent dismissing another's viewpoints as somehow carrying less value because their daughter plays rec (Oh he's just a rec parent).  Meanwhile that "rec parent" may have a PhD and earn 3 times what the Elite parent does. But here none of that matters.  In this way, this forum is simply a platform for those parents of talented young ladies to exploit their daughters ability for their own self gratification.

Uhmmm....wait a minute....isn't that why you had kids?

Cleansheets wrote:

dreadpirateroberts wrote:My favorite quote from the article-

“It’s the introduction of adult values into kids’ games,” says O’Sullivan, author of Changing the Game. “When I grew up, it was children competing against children. Now, more often than not, it’s adults competing against other adults through their children.”

This is what I can't stand about this forum in general.  Parents appear to give status to themselves or others based upon their daughter's playing ability. An example I have seen lately and can point to is one parent dismissing another's viewpoints as somehow carrying less value because their daughter plays rec (Oh he's just a rec parent).  Meanwhile that "rec parent" may have a PhD and earn 3 times what the Elite parent does. But here none of that matters.  In this way, this forum is simply a platform for those parents of talented young ladies to exploit their daughters ability for their own self gratification.

Uhmmm....wait a minute....isn't that why you had kids?

I see Jack and myself aren't the only sarcastic folks putting their plugs in on this forum...  I had kids so I didn't have to mow my own lawn or wash my own dishes or vacuum my own house...  OH, and to grab that occasional beer from the garage fridge when I'm just too damn tired from running these kids to all their sporting events and being a good parent.  

SoccerShocker wrote:
I see Jack and myself aren't the only sarcastic folks putting their plugs in on this forum...  I had kids so I didn't have to mow my own lawn or wash my own dishes or vacuum my own house...  OH, and to grab that occasional beer from the garage fridge when I'm just too damn tired from running these kids to all their sporting events and being a good parent.  

Thats part of my kids workout routine at our house..

Kids drop out like flies in all sports, competitive and rec, maybe even more so in rec, and that's supposed to be 'just for fun'.

Cobra_Kai wrote:Kids drop out like flies in all sports, competitive and rec, maybe even more so in rec, and that's supposed to be 'just for fun'.

Bet you never get this one.... LOL



Good kid, BAAAAAD judge of character...

My favorite part of the article....

...Saferstein explains it this way: “If you treat your kid’s soccer the way you treat your kid’s math, you’ll probably be OK,” he says. “Most parents don’t show up at their kid’s class and start screaming at them, ‘Carry the zero!’”

Kinda funny to think about it that way.

This saying by Claudio Reyna comes to mind...

“Imagine if parents gave their children a toy – a doll, puzzle, or train - and started yelling at them while they played with it. Do you think it would become a favorite toy?”

These kids would have a lot more fun on the pitch if parents were forced to watch them play from their cars with the windows rolled up.

Great idea Rogue. The AC in 100 degree weather wouldn't be so bad either...

The difference in school performance is often the degree to which the parent shows an interest.  If the parent pushes for excellence, encourages study, provides necessary outside resources, most kids are going to get on board and do well.  If the parent doesn't care or if the family legacy is to drop out,  the results are also predictable.

A kid will never achieve anything beyond their passion for it.  However, parents are needed to provide focus and perseverance until the kid demonstrates the self control/self discipline necessary to achieve.  Talent without focus is pretty much worthless.  That goes for academics as well as select soccer.  

There is no excuse for a parent making a spectacle of themselves on the sideline.  When the focus leaves the field and centers on a spectator, something is amiss.  But there is nothing wrong with showing passion for the game, your team, and your child.  The question is how you do it.

Driver wrote:The difference in school performance is often the degree to which the parent shows an interest.  If the parent pushes for excellence, encourages study, provides necessary outside resources, most kids are going to get on board and do well.  If the parent doesn't care or if the family legacy is to drop out,  the results are also predictable.

A kid will never achieve anything beyond their passion for it.  However, parents are needed to provide focus and perseverance until the kid demonstrates the self control/self discipline necessary to achieve.  Talent without focus is pretty much worthless.  That goes for academics as well as select soccer.  

There is no excuse for a parent making a spectacle of themselves on the sideline.  When the focus leaves the field and centers on a spectator, something is amiss.  But there is nothing wrong with showing passion for the game, your team, and your child.  The question is how you do it.

Excellent post. It all comes down to good habits. My children have a list of things to do written down when they get home. Homework, chores, band practice for the bb, soccer drills for the dd. When the soccer drills were first added, there was a little pushback, but she was told that unless she wants to play rec ball (which would be OK with me if that's what she wanted to do BTW), I wasn't going to pay her club dues without her demonstrating a little responsibility herself. Now its part of her daily routine and she actually likes to go out with her dad and put in 30-45 minutes of drills. They are definitely creatures of habit.