D'Feeters 04GB -- Mental Strength-you read you decide

What do you think of the coaching style?

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Every new level of competition the girls play is going to require one major quality -- increased mental strength. Every girl who goes from Select to ECNL to College to Pro will tell you the biggest challenge is the mental toughness that is required. All of the players who weren't pushed to be mentally tough through select dropped out when the pressure from the coaches and atmosphere overwhelmed them. Everyone has a breaking point at some point and part of my job is to extend the players breaking point to later stages of life.

We have a very competitive weekend ahead of us. We are very physically and mentally fit which was the initially preparation. But the only way the girls are going to get through so many competitive matches is if they are willing to communicate with each other on a higher level while becoming mentally tougher.

So tonight, we had an interesting practice... I took the girls way outside of their comfort zone by placing them on team's and making them cut their teammates who didn't meet their respective team's expectations. We played several games and most of the girls were cut at some point. The girls played a small game/drill then at the end each team would have to decide who didn't meet the group standards. After naming the player, the girls would have to explain "why." Next explaining "why," they would have to share their ideas on how to fix it. The remaining team's would select from the players who were cut to pick players back up to refill the teams.

I can't say I agree with all the cuts the girls made tonight but up to this point, the girls have only critiqued what they see through their own two eyes. Some of the girls agreed with being cut. Other girls disagreed. The disagreements came from the players seeing the play and game from different points of view. They were opened up to their teammates points of views which is extremely valuable for growth in each individual's self awareness. I explained to the girls the reasons for cuts and the reasons for disagreeing were normal and all true. The disconnect just comes from seeing the game from different angles. And the lesson they need to understand is that in the game all of us are going to see the game differently which is a blessing because it means we can all help each other by communicating better. They also learned that while you critique someone you have to look through their eyes as well.

This was a really important practice because it made the girls talk to each other and realize their teammates critiques. The only way we're going to put our physical and mental fitness to good use this weekend is if the girls are able to communicate their critiques to grind through games. They have to be willing to share what they see and willing to accept the information shared on the fly. They are now at an age where I can't constantly influence the game once the whistle blows. They have to take a lot of the control on their own. They have to problem solve and talk on the fly. There's no timeouts and there's less subs so it's time they grow into this.
Please help keep the girls on the same page with the direction of the team by talking to them about how to deliver the message properly.

How do players deliver the message properly? Well, these are athletes so it's not a normal conversation. Player's have to talk fast and concise because the game isn't going to wait for a discussion to take place. So they have to be snappy but with a positive tone that let's players know we're trying to work together and benefit each other. The girls have to realize we're all here for a common goal and the better we can help each other the better we will play. If the girls don't quite get each other and the game starts to take off during their time communicating then they need to finish the conversation on the next break of play or at half time, water break, etc.


I anticipate some feelings getting hurt because the girls are young and don't know exactly how to talk all the time but that's part of the growing pain to teach them how to be more mature players and people so bare with me and the girls as wel all go through this.
Looking forward to a great weekend! The more competitive games we can get the better to lead us into the game next in LHGCL Week 2 against Spirit!

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Joey Kennington | Left Foot Studio Soccer Club | www.lfssoccer.net | cell 214.425.4490 | "To be great you have to affect the game in more than just scoring and assists."

LFS | Left Foot Studio Soccer

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I think I would be pretty irritated with a parent who published one of my emails to a message board for all to dissect. My guess is you are trying to determine if this approach is appropriate or not. My best advice would be to delete this and talk directly with the coach. I'm sure he would much rather take that approach.

Did you take your concerns up directly with the coach?

I think anyone who posts their coach's personal team email on this site is pretty despicable.

If they really wanted unbiased input, they would have posted the actions they were concerned with, without trying to throw the coach under the bus.

They are quite a fool if they think they will get unbiased opinions on this coach from this forum.

Is this the latest ploy to get a player release?

Whoever posted that is a deadbeat and your true colors will eventually show. You obviously were once cut by the coach and can never quite get over it. For the sake of your own kid, grow up.

I think the coach ran a drill he thought would help the team grow, then explained his reasoning to the parents. Right or wrong in a parents eyes he appeared to do what he thought would help his group. Good for him.

Personally I think it's genius. Teaching the girls to communicate - hold each other accountable and learn how others see them. Not all teams could handle this but a strong team can.

Shame on you OP- what was your motivation here??

Never been a big fan of JK. But this is different and certainly not a negative from my perspective.

As the great Albert E. said. "Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new"

The girls played a small game/drill then at the end each team would have to decide who didn't meet the group standards. After naming the player, the girls would have to explain "why." Next explaining "why," they would have to share their ideas on how to fix it.

So - somebody was held accountable, by their teammates.

The teammate who cut them had to explain why, and share how to fix it?

Not really seeing a problem here.

OP = douchebag

Let me start by saying that the OP needs to delete this thread and take concerns to JP directly.
Although I get what JP was trying to and I applaud the idea of trying to think outside the box, this ultimately can become organized bullying. I wasn't there but let me expand on this. We all know which dds on our team sit on the bench. For the most part these dds are still developing and may not be at the same level as the others. As such, it is highly probable that the dds who kept getting voted off of the "tribe" (Survivor style) first are the developing players. You see this in nature through survival of the fittest. Again, the idea to increase communication is golden but the approach could tear apart a team and worse destroy a developing dds confidence IMHO.

If you don't think the girls are "making cuts" every game in their minds you're fooling yourself. Any group in life is going to identify who they think is the weak link and try to minimize their exposure. Seems like the coach simply brought this out front so the "weak" players can understand where they can improve. It's called a peer review and is used through out the business world. In fact when little suzy has to read aloud or stand in front of class it's the same thing...a peer review.

Since I'm speaking of cuts, if I was the OP I'd be watching my back because not only the coach, but any team parent who finds out you shared an internal email will be looking to chop you and your DD now. Hopefully that's what your intention was because if it's not then you've really screwed your daughter. I also wonder how open other coaches will be down the road knowing you cant be trusted.

People post (semi)anonymous questions on coaching tactics at times - fine if you feel the need to get some validation or want an honest opinion.  Especially when you come on with a new screen name.

But to post a coach's email to his team?  shame on you!

poor form

Why would you ever post a coach's email to his team?  You could have achieved the same by simply stating you heard of the technique and what do people think.  Me thinks you care very little about getting opinions on the technique and just want to start drama for your team.  Bad form for sure. 

As to the technique, I don't like it because these are ten year old girls and not grown up business people or anyone else that is peer reviewed.  They don't have the maturity to understand the issues or deal with it emotionally.  If I was cut by teammates at 10, I would be ticked and decide who was the one pushing for me to be cut and cut that person when my turn came around.  It would also piss off to play on the team and I wouldn't pass the ball to that girl.  All because I was immature, which is natural at 10.

Reminds me of a book/movie "Lord of the Flies".  The young kids try to take control of themselves, but in the end turning on each other.

Before you read what's next......I'm only talking about GIRLS.

I would assume that the coach had every best intention by doing this, but we are talking 10yr olds.  As a whole, I would not think that it would be wise to do this at this age and to GIRLS.  Older yes, by all means do it......but I would caution doing it at 10.

I to have a '04G and I as a parent am constantly teaching my child what to say and what not to say.  Even with my DD's best intentions, sometimes words come out wrong and turn something great to bad.  My DD is learning everyday that words can cut, hurt and make people go in a different direction that you intended.

Its different if you tell your BFF that she needs to work on her Cutting/Kicking/Running Etc one-to-one or while your out on the field....verses standing up in a group (publicly) and saying it.  Peer pressure without knowing how to handle it, can take a girl's confidence level from "Great to Average" and make them feel less than desirable and make them perform worse.  Some 10yr old girls can handle this....but some can't at this age.

Side bar....
I enjoyed reading about what JK is trying to do.  It's great to see a coach think outside the box.
But its a double edged sword:  I enjoyed reading it....but felt guilty because of the Parent/Coach trust WAS BROKEN.  It may have not be Explicitly stated....but it is IMPLIED....kind of like the "MAN CODE" you just don't break it

In short, I wouldn't have posted it.

I don't really have a problem with what he did. I doubt it effectivness and yes it could lead to bullying and a fracturing of the team but I do applaud the effort. I am going to guess that there may have been some issues or not positive comments made on the field and this was really trying to address those issues and put them to rest.

I would not have posted the coaches email to the team and even if I decided to do something that unproductive I would have used my own name and stood behind it. I think the poster should have taken their concerns directly to the coach and if the coach is unwilling to listen and explain what he is doing then it is time to find a new coach. Now because of the posting they will not be able to go to the coach and resolve it.

Interesting tactic - not the way I would have approached discussing it though - probably should have invited a parent over that you trust for a beer and some burgers on the grill and have that water cooler conversation and test your theories out there first before jumping on here and posting it live... might have gotten better results.

I will say, when my DD played for Joey, he wasn't the most open to suggestions or concerns when you posed them about your own DD - that's what some love about him and others hate about him. So my guess is, going to the coach probably wasn't going to be an option to begin with. Coming on here definitely shouldn't have been the first thought though. This is something discussed privately with other parents, probably and preferably, not from the same team.

I will have to say that I am extremely disappointed in whoever posted this. Unfortunately, I don't know who it is so I can't stand in front of them to tell them. Apply this drill to real life and I'd have to cut you.

You could always write an open letter and post it on the forum!

You even posted his cell phone number?

Classless

You are cut - for all the reasons listed above.

Total tool. What is it you hope to accomplish by posting the letter. Man up an talk to the coach if you do not like it. Or move your dd after season. I think you make your self look as bad as your are trying to make the coach. By the way..............great first post coward

We need more posts like the OP's. It makes for great entertainment.   Maybe the OP can get some kind of "whistle blower" protection. If the OP's name comes out, they are going to need it.

okay now that everyone has piled on the poster, the real problem is you guys. For all of the calls of talk to the coach, you know how many would have actually done it? 0! Parents pay coaches to teach their kids soccer and are terrified of them. JK is open? Who gives a $#it what he is open too? You should be able to talk to your coach and he should be able to explain everything he is doing. You may not like the explination or even agree but he should handle it like a professional and move on. Talk to a parent? from another team? What good would that do? If you need a shoulder to cry on hire a therapist. If you need to get the situation solved you take it to the source. This is all here because a concerned parent was too affraid to walk up and talk to JK and tell him their concerns about what he did. Maybe he could have explained his point of view and reasons or even agreed that maybe it wasn't the best tactic. But this poster was too affraid to even give JK chance. But don't worry poster 99% of the people here are exactly like you and they would have said nothing to the coach.