If you have been through "going Select" with an older DD, what is your best advice for 02 first-timers?

The city of Arlington sucks. Just saying

santos.l.halper wrote:Make it a good experience for your kid, one that she enjoys and looks forward to. Both games and practices. If the coach/club makes either games or practices miserable, then consider other options.

It doesnt matter how many private lessons, what division/league she plays in, what the coach's pedigree is, or what the club logo on the jersey says, if your kid quits out of lack of interest.

At the end of the day, it should be about a kid wanting to play a game she loves, in a good environment. Period.

+++++1 ! Could not agree more. I made the mistake of pushing my DD to play for awhile on one of the top clubs, and she almost quit the game entirely as she didn't like the coach or have a lot of friends on the team. She went back to rec, fell in love with the game again, and has found a new academy team with a coach she loves and one were a number of her friends are playing. She is happy, and that is all I care about.

Don't go select with any team that doesn't allow parents to observe practices. Don't let your kid get Sanduskied.

Be sure to drink your Ovaltine.

So...this year my '93 graduates...
Thankfully I have many more years ahead of me with my 02 player..Just wanted to give a heads up to those first-timers... My veteran parents will understand..
When my 93 started there was no 'academy'..it was pure God-given talent and the hope that your rec coach was good enough... We found a 'home' team..believe it or not we stayed with them the enire 8 years.. Not typical for a select player but there were several reasons behind that.. I hope that you parents that have to choose for your daughters next year, remember this post..
Our first year of select,the threads were burning up with 93 predictions..there was even a big scandal of Sting Royal Blue 'stealing' a player w/in their own Sting/White team.. slowly year by year the girls changed and the threads dwindled..You prob won't find any news on those girls now..they're all graduating this year..Right now with the Academy teams there are a hundred predictions posted here..who is the best defender, who is the best goalie, who is #1..blah blah.. Next year the whole Lake Highlands experience will be on every thread as well... don't believe the hype! We were there.. Turns out the girls didn't give a crap WHERE they played..it was the parents.. Matter of fact,their senior year they chose to play in Arlington..They wanted their last year to be a competitive but fun year..no driving across the world, playing politics with the league...Just playing their last year together and making memories.
.So first lesson: Dads chill out, your stats don't mean much to your daughter..Make this enjoyable!
Speaking of LH..it's not the end of the world if you don't play there..believe it or not there is competition in Plano and Arlington! My daughter was considered by 8 different colleges..No they weren't all Div 1 schools..but who cares since the point of college is for the EDUCATION..You can have an awesome college program but if it's not an academic match for your daughter then you have wasted your money and her time... Every girl on my dd's team that wanted to play-is going to play next year!And as a matter of fact the coach and his wife orchestrated a college campaign..They were in the face of every scout providing info, pics,stats and info about all of our girls.. (14 signed this year)
Lesson #2- Don't over push your kid into thinking LH is the place to be or don't club jump JUST because of their ranking..Those girls burn out too... We even saw D2 teams scrambling for girls last minute because the girls were sick of it..
Lastly... please find a good coach! This can make/break your daughter's soccer spirit.. We were truly blessed w/our coach..He truly made a difference in my daughter's life..I can totally see the difference between him and the academy coaches... 93 Coach had the girls LOVING soccer..There was plenty of sideline lessons and encouragement..He related a lot of his field predicaments to life and the girl associated..this made them see him more than just a soccer coach but also a mentor and supporter.. This is important because a player should feel good about being under his wing... He did something that NO OTHER COACH in all 13 years of me being a soccer Mom, has ever done..."The Hug'...It was MANDATORY that the player hugged their parents..so after pre-game warm-up he'd say 'Ok..hug your parents'..18 girls would come stampeding across the field..and it wasn't just your kid.. you would get 5-6 hugs from diff girls everytime.. that was your last chance to say something and more importantly that was your kid's way of saying 'Thnak you for driving me here, paying for this and being here'.. Believe me our last hug last weekend was very emotional.. I had girls hug me and tell me they loved me and I was like a Mom to them...I wil miss that hug more than you know.. I hope if there are any coaches out there reading this you take the time to thank your parents! They are the backbone of your team not their daughters...
Select soccer has been a great experience for my family..The friends, memories, educational benefit and joy of watching my kid rock the field every weekend..I still remember her first game like it was yesterday... I get to start all over this year but much wiser than I was when TurfMonster was full of predictions and placements.... chill out and enjoy these next 9..they go too fast..

pitchafit wrote:chill out and enjoy these next 9..they go too fast..

pitchafit wrote:So...this year my '93 graduates...
Thankfully I have many more years ahead of me with my 02 player..Just wanted to give a heads up to those first-timers... My veteran parents will understand..
When my 93 started there was no 'academy'..it was pure God-given talent and the hope that your rec coach was good enough... We found a 'home' team..believe it or not we stayed with them the enire 8 years.. Not typical for a select player but there were several reasons behind that.. I hope that you parents that have to choose for your daughters next year, remember this post..
Our first year of select,the threads were burning up with 93 predictions..there was even a big scandal of Sting Royal Blue 'stealing' a player w/in their own Sting/White team.. slowly year by year the girls changed and the threads dwindled..You prob won't find any news on those girls now..they're all graduating this year..Right now with the Academy teams there are a hundred predictions posted here..who is the best defender, who is the best goalie, who is #1..blah blah.. Next year the whole Lake Highlands experience will be on every thread as well... don't believe the hype! We were there.. Turns out the girls didn't give a crap WHERE they played..it was the parents.. Matter of fact,their senior year they chose to play in Arlington..They wanted their last year to be a competitive but fun year..no driving across the world, playing politics with the league...Just playing their last year together and making memories.
.So first lesson: Dads chill out, your stats don't mean much to your daughter..Make this enjoyable!
Speaking of LH..it's not the end of the world if you don't play there..believe it or not there is competition in Plano and Arlington! My daughter was considered by 8 different colleges..No they weren't all Div 1 schools..but who cares since the point of college is for the EDUCATION..You can have an awesome college program but if it's not an academic match for your daughter then you have wasted your money and her time... Every girl on my dd's team that wanted to play-is going to play next year!And as a matter of fact the coach and his wife orchestrated a college campaign..They were in the face of every scout providing info, pics,stats and info about all of our girls.. (14 signed this year)
Lesson #2- Don't over push your kid into thinking LH is the place to be or don't club jump JUST because of their ranking..Those girls burn out too... We even saw D2 teams scrambling for girls last minute because the girls were sick of it..
Lastly... please find a good coach! This can make/break your daughter's soccer spirit.. We were truly blessed w/our coach..He truly made a difference in my daughter's life..I can totally see the difference between him and the academy coaches... 93 Coach had the girls LOVING soccer..There was plenty of sideline lessons and encouragement..He related a lot of his field predicaments to life and the girl associated..this made them see him more than just a soccer coach but also a mentor and supporter.. This is important because a player should feel good about being under his wing... He did something that NO OTHER COACH in all 13 years of me being a soccer Mom, has ever done..."The Hug'...It was MANDATORY that the player hugged their parents..so after pre-game warm-up he'd say 'Ok..hug your parents'..18 girls would come stampeding across the field..and it wasn't just your kid.. you would get 5-6 hugs from diff girls everytime.. that was your last chance to say something and more importantly that was your kid's way of saying 'Thnak you for driving me here, paying for this and being here'.. Believe me our last hug last weekend was very emotional.. I had girls hug me and tell me they loved me and I was like a Mom to them...I wil miss that hug more than you know.. I hope if there are any coaches out there reading this you take the time to thank your parents! They are the backbone of your team not their daughters...
Select soccer has been a great experience for my family..The friends, memories, educational benefit and joy of watching my kid rock the field every weekend..I still remember her first game like it was yesterday... I get to start all over this year but much wiser than I was when TurfMonster was full of predictions and placements.... chill out and enjoy these next 9..they go too fast..

Excellent post!

I have a U17 and you're dating yourself with the TurfMonster quote. LOL!

rcjctcac wrote:As a team manager I wouldn't advise skipping practices or games. This is a family commitment. You can't stay informed if you aren't there. Kids will regurgitate about 1/10 of what they hear;Chose wisely when picking a team. Research the club. Most teams are having open practices now, I'd advise going to a few. Part of being on a team is commitment. The coach needs to know he can rely on his or her players. All and all if you find the right team/club it is an amazing ride. To see our DD light up when we hit the practice fields or games makes it all worth it. Hope this helps...

Family commitment? What does that even mean? One kid is playing, not the parents or siblings. Too many parents spend more time thinking about their kid's soccer "career" than their schoolwork. A girl can miss a few days of school, and it's no big deal. She can miss church for a tournament, but that's just part of the "soccer commitment". Miss a lousy soccer game, however, and it's the end of the world. I don't buy it. If a starter misses, it gives the next player in line an opportunity to play. If a bench player is gone, no one seems to care. Let the kids have a life outside of soccer from time to time.

Its Me wrote:1. Relax and don't get caught up in the, "My kid is playing for a Div I/II team."
To many parents will place their kids on a Div I/II team when their kid should be on a lower level team.
Then they'll get upset when Lil' Susie only gets 5 minutes of playing time per half.

2. Ask the coach where does he see your kids on the team? Out of the 16 kids is she #11 or #16.
That's a fair question for both your kid and coach.

3. Private lessons is a must. Most kids in Div I have participated in private lessons at some time in the past.
They may even be participating at this time. Have them focus on fundamentals and how to be a technical player.
Only problem is in NTX most coaches want BIG and FAST. If you don't have at least you'll have skills which will payoff in the future.

4. Make sure your DD is happy with her team because she will be spending a LOT of time with them.
Also, parents are important because you'll be having a lot of lunches and hotel time together.

5. Don't worry about the colleges until they're U16/U17. Most college coaches aren't looking at kids until they're U17 anyway.

Gag. I just threw up in my mouth a bit. Private lessons are not a must. Practicing at home? Sure. But private lessons are often just a way to put money in the pockets of a skills trainer.

Xara wrote:

rcjctcac wrote:As a team manager I wouldn't advise skipping practices or games. This is a family commitment. You can't stay informed if you aren't there. Kids will regurgitate about 1/10 of what they hear;Chose wisely when picking a team. Research the club. Most teams are having open practices now, I'd advise going to a few. Part of being on a team is commitment. The coach needs to know he can rely on his or her players. All and all if you find the right team/club it is an amazing ride. To see our DD light up when we hit the practice fields or games makes it all worth it. Hope this helps...

Family commitment? What does that even mean? One kid is playing, not the parents or siblings. Too many parents spend more time thinking about their kid's soccer "career" than their schoolwork. A girl can miss a few days of school, and it's no big deal. She can miss church for a tournament, but that's just part of the "soccer commitment". Miss a lousy soccer game, however, and it's the end of the world. I don't buy it. If a starter misses, it gives the next player in line an opportunity to play. If a bench player is gone, no one seems to care. Let the kids have a life outside of soccer from time to time.

You obviously aren't family committed

Xara wrote:

Its Me wrote:1. Relax and don't get caught up in the, "My kid is playing for a Div I/II team."
To many parents will place their kids on a Div I/II team when their kid should be on a lower level team.
Then they'll get upset when Lil' Susie only gets 5 minutes of playing time per half.

2. Ask the coach where does he see your kids on the team? Out of the 16 kids is she #11 or #16.
That's a fair question for both your kid and coach.

3. Private lessons is a must. Most kids in Div I have participated in private lessons at some time in the past.
They may even be participating at this time. Have them focus on fundamentals and how to be a technical player.
Only problem is in NTX most coaches want BIG and FAST. If you don't have at least you'll have skills which will payoff in the future.

4. Make sure your DD is happy with her team because she will be spending a LOT of time with them.
Also, parents are important because you'll be having a lot of lunches and hotel time together.

5. Don't worry about the colleges until they're U16/U17. Most college coaches aren't looking at kids until they're U17 anyway.

Gag. I just threw up in my mouth a bit. Private lessons are not a must. Practicing at home? Sure. But private lessons are often just a way to put money in the pockets of a skills trainer.

I hope you hadn't eaten clam chowder and blood sausage because that would taste gross a second time.

stay in a constant state of panic.

pitchafit wrote:So...this year my '93 graduates...
Thankfully I have many more years ahead of me with my 02 player..Just wanted to give a heads up to those first-timers... My veteran parents will understand..
When my 93 started there was no 'academy'..it was pure God-given talent and the hope that your rec coach was good enough... We found a 'home' team..believe it or not we stayed with them the enire 8 years.. Not typical for a select player but there were several reasons behind that.. I hope that you parents that have to choose for your daughters next year, remember this post..
Our first year of select,the threads were burning up with 93 predictions..there was even a big scandal of Sting Royal Blue 'stealing' a player w/in their own Sting/White team.. slowly year by year the girls changed and the threads dwindled..You prob won't find any news on those girls now..they're all graduating this year..Right now with the Academy teams there are a hundred predictions posted here..who is the best defender, who is the best goalie, who is #1..blah blah.. Next year the whole Lake Highlands experience will be on every thread as well... don't believe the hype! We were there.. Turns out the girls didn't give a crap WHERE they played..it was the parents.. Matter of fact,their senior year they chose to play in Arlington..They wanted their last year to be a competitive but fun year..no driving across the world, playing politics with the league...Just playing their last year together and making memories.
.So first lesson: Dads chill out, your stats don't mean much to your daughter..Make this enjoyable!
Speaking of LH..it's not the end of the world if you don't play there..believe it or not there is competition in Plano and Arlington! My daughter was considered by 8 different colleges..No they weren't all Div 1 schools..but who cares since the point of college is for the EDUCATION..You can have an awesome college program but if it's not an academic match for your daughter then you have wasted your money and her time... Every girl on my dd's team that wanted to play-is going to play next year!And as a matter of fact the coach and his wife orchestrated a college campaign..They were in the face of every scout providing info, pics,stats and info about all of our girls.. (14 signed this year)
Lesson #2- Don't over push your kid into thinking LH is the place to be or don't club jump JUST because of their ranking..Those girls burn out too... We even saw D2 teams scrambling for girls last minute because the girls were sick of it..
Lastly... please find a good coach! This can make/break your daughter's soccer spirit.. We were truly blessed w/our coach..He truly made a difference in my daughter's life..I can totally see the difference between him and the academy coaches... 93 Coach had the girls LOVING soccer..There was plenty of sideline lessons and encouragement..He related a lot of his field predicaments to life and the girl associated..this made them see him more than just a soccer coach but also a mentor and supporter.. This is important because a player should feel good about being under his wing... He did something that NO OTHER COACH in all 13 years of me being a soccer Mom, has ever done..."The Hug'...It was MANDATORY that the player hugged their parents..so after pre-game warm-up he'd say 'Ok..hug your parents'..18 girls would come stampeding across the field..and it wasn't just your kid.. you would get 5-6 hugs from diff girls everytime.. that was your last chance to say something and more importantly that was your kid's way of saying 'Thnak you for driving me here, paying for this and being here'.. Believe me our last hug last weekend was very emotional.. I had girls hug me and tell me they loved me and I was like a Mom to them...I wil miss that hug more than you know.. I hope if there are any coaches out there reading this you take the time to thank your parents! They are the backbone of your team not their daughters...
Select soccer has been a great experience for my family..The friends, memories, educational benefit and joy of watching my kid rock the field every weekend..I still remember her first game like it was yesterday... I get to start all over this year but much wiser than I was when TurfMonster was full of predictions and placements.... chill out and enjoy these next 9..they go too fast..

WOW! Nice, thanks! I have a couple DDs in the early stages, and this is so encouraging to see.

Why dont you name names and tell us the team and coach? Or is it a state secret? Will the coach of your 93 be coaching younger teams next year? That sort of encouragement and positive coaching should be recognized.

Unfortunately the coach retired...Started as a 6 yr old player and retired at 50 as the coach...Promised us our freshman year that we would be the last team he ever coached, he would not cut any players and he would help us into college...He did all 3... You won't find another one like him out there..and if you're a coach I hope you're reading this..Because the little 'take them out', 'do what you gotta do' remarks heard in your huddles are disgusting.. And when you don't correct your player on tacky playing such as cheap fouls, you're not doing them or your team a favor.. it's just cheap soccer...