Nightmare sports parents?

Great article: http://www.thepostgame.com/blog/more-family-fun/201202/what-makes-nightmare-sports-parent

I used to be a lot guiltier than I am of late. How about you?

I don't believe I am as bad as I used to be too, but definitely a question to ask my DD and son tonight, hopefully prior to his game.

99 views in 20 minutes, but only one other poster also confesses to having unclean hands? Wow! You people are good parents!

GUILTY!

I am evil

guilty. by looking for a reprieve

Not guilty. I don't even discuss games with my kids unless they bring it up. They know if they played well or not

Completely guilty! No matter how many times I tell myself "stay quiet, don't say anything," the next thing I know I'm opening my big mouth.

Guilty but there's hope for me! I don't yell much during the game (other than great job) because I was definitely saving it up for the ride home. But all dd wanted to talk about was where to get ice cream or a drink. I read this article awhile ago when it was posted and now I'm really trying not to talk to her post game (about soccer). Most of the time I just can't resist though but I'm TRYING (ha) to just make it short and mention something she did really well. She pretty much wants to completely switch gears, though, and not discuss the game at all. I find it strange (maybe because I'm a weird adult) that you would not want to even mention a game you were so passionately involved in just a few minutes ago but I think they live in the moment more or at least my kid does.

Also, I've been noticing more the parents who can't wait to get ahold of their kid post game, often as soon as they get over to their parents (still dragging their water bottle and backpack). I swear I see a look of dread on their face--or at least I have noticed that the dd is usually not all lit up and smiling but rather looking questioningly (is that even a word?) at their parents to find out if they "did good or not". Man, that's a lot of stress at least for an Academy age kiddo like I have.

Now, how about the ride THERE? Anybody else find themselves saying "remember to...." DD usually says "I know, I KNOW" Now, she does want to talk about what team she is playing and their w/l record against them and what age group they are, etc, etc, usually followed by "we will beat them", of course.

PS, so the short answer is "guilty", LOL

A couple of months ago, my dd promised me that if I kept my mouth shut on the ride to the game, she would score a goal. She did. So now we ride to games with the radio so loud that no can talk.

imasoccerfreak wrote:A couple of months ago, my dd promised me that if I kept my mouth shut on the ride to the game, she would score a goal. She did. So now we ride to games with the radio so loud that no can talk.

I can't decide who is smarter -- you, or her. I'm leaning towards her, though.

The acticle is so stupid. Suggest findings that it had already wanted to find without looking at the information. They all have things in common, they are successful and they endured the ride home. Nobody "likes" to talk about what the did wrong. I didn't like to eat my vegetables either but doesn't mean they weren't good for me. The juice box everything thing is apple pie and sunshine kids are on to something else. Older BB can tell you after the game what he did wrong and what he thinks he should have done. Younger DD is still upset with the mere concept that it is possible for here to do anything that is not absolutely flawless. I do however notice that she fixes whatever is mentioned. David Becham mentioned in an article how he remembers his dad always breaking down the game and his mistakes. Even when he went to ManU he would get a call from his dad after the game about his mistakes. He seemed to have turned out okay.

I've gotten good at keeping my mouth shut during the game. I know that she needs to focus on the game and any sideline instruction needs to come from her coach.

The ride home is tougher - I try to focus on "where do you want to go for ice cream" but it isn't easy.

Probably depends on the kid's age too, I thinking? I've got a 7 year old so...."chocolate or vanilla" is definitely most on her mind post game, ha. And she's never been much of a talker about what happened at games or school (most I can get out of her is what they had for lunch).

go99 wrote:The acticle is so stupid. Suggest findings that it had already wanted to find without looking at the information. They all have things in common, they are successful and they endured the ride home. Nobody "likes" to talk about what the did wrong. I didn't like to eat my vegetables either but doesn't mean they weren't good for me. The juice box everything thing is apple pie and sunshine kids are on to something else. Older BB can tell you after the game what he did wrong and what he thinks he should have done. Younger DD is still upset with the mere concept that it is possible for here to do anything that is not absolutely flawless. I do however notice that she fixes whatever is mentioned. David Becham mentioned in an article how he remembers his dad always breaking down the game and his mistakes. Even when he went to ManU he would get a call from his dad after the game about his mistakes. He seemed to have turned out okay.

I see something stupid in this thread, but it's not the article. The athletes surveyed therein were all in college, so from this vantage point, like Beckham, they all turned out okay, too. But that doesn't mean they enjoyed post-game breakdown of over-involved parents and/or that multitudes of other athletes didn't leave their sport at an early age because their parents sucked so much enjoyment out of the juice box that they just didn't want to play anymore.

I tell my husband he better not say a word to her and then I spend 10 minutes telling her what she needs to work on. so...GUILTY. I always do the "sandwich" You did good with this, you need to make a better decision about that, but I really liked how you did this. Doubt it makes it any better but I convince myself it does

Everyone is different. We all know who our kids are and how they handle things. Some are a little more emotional and some its in one ear and out the other with a couple of nods. Some parents can give criticism without anger, some cant.
I believe the trick is to compliment first. And specify on what they did so great. Then counter with what they could have done a little better, but don't dwell on it. At least thats what works for me. I'm guilty of being my DD's worst critic but also her biggest fan. And she knows it...

mommabear wrote:I tell my husband he better not say a word to her and then I spend 10 minutes telling her what she needs to work on. so...GUILTY. I always do the "sandwich" You did good with this, you need to make a better decision about that, but I really liked how you did this. Doubt it makes it any better but I convince myself it does

I totally think it makes it better. I think they want to know what we think as long as with a little empathy.

I'm guilty of the "car speech" as well...

Reminded me of this:

Or you can be the parent that justifies your player sucker punching an opponent player in the ribcage so hard that the player gets the wind knocked out of her leaving fist bruising pattern when the ball in NOT in play... Justification from the parent "Your kid deserved it because she was pushing. There is no pushing or use of elbows in soccer".

Yes, let's congratulate the player for exhibiting poor sportsmanship on the field and reinforce to her that assaulting another player on the field when the ball isn't even in play is absolutely acceptable because your team isn't winning.

And hats off to the Coach that hugged & apologized to the child because she got red carded and not once checking on the injured child or have your player apologize for this misconduct.

Kudos to their team manager who said " Girls will be girls".

Call me old-fashioned though. As a parent, it is my personal responsibility to have removed my player immediately from the field before the ref had a chance to pull the red card. Personally, I don't tolerate that from my dd nor from any of her teammates but I am just silly that way, hmmm.

Very disappointed with the adults in this situation as they are the ones responsible for molding this player's ideation of what is acceptable and not on/off the field.

But then again.... my player deserved it.

rollstogether wrote:Or you can be the parent that justifies your player sucker punching an opponent player in the ribcage so hard that the player gets the wind knocked out of her leaving fist bruising pattern when the ball in NOT in play... Justification from the parent "Your kid deserved it because she was pushing. There is no pushing or use of elbows in soccer".

Yes, let's congratulate the player for exhibiting poor sportsmanship on the field and reinforce to her that assaulting another player on the field when the ball isn't even in play is absolutely acceptable because your team isn't winning.

And hats off to the Coach that hugged & apologized to the child because she got red carded and not once checking on the injured child or have your player apologize for this misconduct.

Kudos to their team manager who said " Girls will be girls".

Call me old-fashioned though. As a parent, it is my personal responsibility to have removed my player immediately from the field before the ref had a chance to pull the red card. Personally, I don't tolerate that from my dd nor from any of her teammates but I am just silly that way, hmmm.

Very disappointed with the adults in this situation as they are the ones responsible for molding this player's ideation of what is acceptable and not on/off the field.

But then again.... my player deserved it.

So did the girl doing the pushing and elbowing get pulled off the pitch?

Seems like NTX Soccer adults are acting role models all over the area. Fighting in the parking lot, condoning unsportsmanlike behavior and players illegally attacking each other on the field.
Sounds like a roller derby exhibition.

rollstogether wrote:Or you can be the parent that justifies your player sucker punching an opponent player in the ribcage so hard that the player gets the wind knocked out of her leaving fist bruising pattern when the ball in NOT in play... Justification from the parent "Your kid deserved it because she was pushing. There is no pushing or use of elbows in soccer".

Yes, let's congratulate the player for exhibiting poor sportsmanship on the field and reinforce to her that assaulting another player on the field when the ball isn't even in play is absolutely acceptable because your team isn't winning.

And hats off to the Coach that hugged & apologized to the child because she got red carded and not once checking on the injured child or have your player apologize for this misconduct.

Kudos to their team manager who said " Girls will be girls".

Call me old-fashioned though. As a parent, it is my personal responsibility to have removed my player immediately from the field before the ref had a chance to pull the red card. Personally, I don't tolerate that from my dd nor from any of her teammates but I am just silly that way, hmmm.

Very disappointed with the adults in this situation as they are the ones responsible for molding this player's ideation of what is acceptable and not on/off the field.

But then again.... my player deserved it.

Yep, that will show 'em. You storming out on the pitch in the middle of the match to drag your dd off. Maybe a wee bit over the top?

Flash23 wrote:Seems like NTX Soccer adults are acting role models all over the area. Fighting in the parking lot, condoning unsportsmanlike behavior and players illegally attacking each other on the field.
Sounds like a roller derby exhibition.

No. This is girls soccer. There are way more girl "punks" than in boys soccer, and the girls' parents are, generally, idiots. When the aformentioned manager said "girls will be girls", he was right. I'll add, girls parents will be girls parents, with regards to both the TFC '01 fight, and the parent above who is upset about what happened in the game. In the "real" world, one could say, if you don't like it, then do something about it. North Texas Girls Soccer is not the real world, so if you don't like it, tough s#!@.