Influence of parents on their kids

I am new to this forum and have found the conversation around how Parents act at games/matches to be very interesting. In the end, I believe there are those parents who derive their own individual self worth from the athletic or academic success of their kids. These parents often go to bed at nights dreaming of the success of their kids. These parents tend to be the louder, more obnoxious ones at matches and are also the ones that often burn their kids out. On the other side of the spectrum, there are parents who realize their role as a parent it to nurture and develop their child to be a hard working, contributing member of society. They recognize that sports - for this forum Soccer - can play a pivotal role in helping to achieve this. My invitation is for each mom/dad who visits this forum is to honestly assess how they act at matches - are they positive, respectful, and encouraging of both teams or negative, critical, and loud. In the end, your daughter will probably end up acting the way she sees you act.

I have always been impressed with parents who don't have to hear their own voice to recognize their influence. In my experience, the best players more often then not have the quietest, most reserved parents. I have also seen some pretty mean spirited girls and am not surprised to see their parents, as they are often the loudest and most obnoxious.

Here is an interesting video on parents at sporting events that you all might find insightful:

http://www.ksl.com/?sid=23040155&nid=148&title=person-foul-parents

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving and don't forget to let your kid(s) know how thankful you are for them.

Peak_Performance_Dad wrote:I am new to this forum and have found the conversation around how Parents act at games/matches to be very interesting. In the end, I believe there are those parents who derive their own individual self worth from the athletic or academic success of their kids. These parents often go to bed at nights dreaming of the success of their kids. These parents tend to be the louder, more obnoxious ones at matches and are also the ones that often burn their kids out. On the other side of the spectrum, there are parents who realize their role as a parent it to nurture and develop their child to be a hard working, contributing member of society. They recognize that sports - for this forum Soccer - can play a pivotal role in helping to achieve this. My invitation is for each mom/dad who visits this forum is to honestly assess how they act at matches - are they positive, respectful, and encouraging of both teams or negative, critical, and loud. In the end, your daughter will probably end up acting the way she sees you act.

I have always been impressed with parents who don't have to hear their own voice to recognize their influence. In my experience, the best players more often then not have the quietest, most reserved parents. I have also seen some pretty mean spirited girls and am not surprised to see their parents, as they are often the loudest and most obnoxious.

Here is an interesting video on parents at sporting events that you all might find insightful:

http://www.ksl.com/?sid=23040155&nid=148&title=person-foul-parents

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving and don't forget to let your kid(s) know how thankful you are for them.

Couldnt understand a word you said Charlie Brown. Love it how you can get on here and just solve all our problems. Go back to the rec forum please.

Nocrying - I guess we know where you fall in the spectrum. The fact that you couldn't understand a word I said tells me all I need to know about you. Hopefully your daughter will still have a parent on her side if she doesn't make the US National Team.
As for the rec comment, not sure how to take that. I guess your belief is that competitive soccer only works with loud, obnoxious parents. I couldn't disagree with you more. Feel free to elaborate on comment if you like.
In the end, my guess is that you and I live in different social circles, so we probably don't understand each other very well. My guess is also that you probably have never heard of John Wooden and you would 'not understand' his coaching style. If you have a few minutes and are open to it, feel free to learn a little from him:

http://www.ted.com/talks/john_wooden_on_the_difference_between_winning_and_success.html

Peak_Performance_Dad wrote:I am new to this forum and have found the conversation around how Parents act at games/matches to be very interesting. In the end, I believe there are those parents who derive their own individual self worth from the athletic or academic success of their kids. These parents often go to bed at nights dreaming of the success of their kids. These parents tend to be the louder, more obnoxious ones at matches and are also the ones that often burn their kids out. On the other side of the spectrum, there are parents who realize their role as a parent it to nurture and develop their child to be a hard working, contributing member of society. They recognize that sports - for this forum Soccer - can play a pivotal role in helping to achieve this. My invitation is for each mom/dad who visits this forum is to honestly assess how they act at matches - are they positive, respectful, and encouraging of both teams or negative, critical, and loud. In the end, your daughter will probably end up acting the way she sees you act.

I have always been impressed with parents who don't have to hear their own voice to recognize their influence. In my experience, the best players more often then not have the quietest, most reserved parents. I have also seen some pretty mean spirited girls and am not surprised to see their parents, as they are often the loudest and most obnoxious.

Here is an interesting video on parents at sporting events that you all might find insightful:

http://www.ksl.com/?sid=23040155&nid=148&title=person-foul-parents

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving and don't forget to let your kid(s) know how thankful you are for them.

I agree 100% with your comments and it is all too sad. Unfortunately, I think you will get many responses like No Crying. I suggested on another thread that if parents were civil, they could all sit together and none of this our side/your side battle lines stuff. I was shot down on that one.

I see it more in the parents, like you said, that feel they are part of the game their daughter is in. As if they have some effect on the outcome by how loud they yell, or if they say "PASS IT, PASS IT" at the right time. Because the kids could never figure out to play without the parents yelling instructions during the games. I normally stand back and laugh when it is other teams but get pretty ticked at my teams parents when they do it.

The best players I have ever seen, ( ECNL, TOP ODP And College level players) their parents have been the quietest I have ever seen as well. They have a quiet confidence and know their kids are good and don't have to yell at them every three seconds.

I liked the first video, haven't watched the second one yet.

The real issue I think comes from the fact that the most offensive people don't realize they're offensive. The people that are the issue refuse to accept the idea that they may be a part of any problem at all.

There was a description posted on another string on this site this weekend that described a woman who came onto the field to verbally attack an '04 girl (a.k.a. An 8 year old) for her style of play. The game was stopped because of this woman's actions.

But here's the question... after that game had to be stopped because of this woman, do you think she learned her lesson? Do you think she'll be better behaved next weekend? OR>>>>>> Do you think she walked off that field furious about what had happened? Do you think she resolved herself by saying during the car ride home, "AND I WOULD DO IT AGAIN!!!! THAT WAS WRONG!!!! SOMEBODY NEEDED TO STEP IN AND STOP THAT GIRL!!!! THAT REFEREE WAS WORTHLESS!!!!"

Do you think she swore never to do it again? Or did you think she swore to the people around her that she WOULD do it again? (I suspect it's probably the latter.)

The thing is, these parents are clueless about the negative impacts of their actions. They think they're doing right for their children.

Peak_Performance_Dad wrote:Nocrying - I guess we know where you fall in the spectrum. The fact that you couldn't understand a word I said tells me all I need to know about you. Hopefully your daughter will still have a parent on her side if she doesn't make the US National Team.
As for the rec comment, not sure how to take that. I guess your belief is that competitive soccer only works with loud, obnoxious parents. I couldn't disagree with you more. Feel free to elaborate on comment if you like.
In the end, my guess is that you and I live in different social circles, so we probably don't understand each other very well. My guess is also that you probably have never heard of John Wooden and you would 'not understand' his coaching style. If you have a few minutes and are open to it, feel free to learn a little from him:

http://www.ted.com/talks/john_wooden_on_the_difference_between_winning_and_success.html

Whether I know who John Wooden is or not does not make you right. His coaching style today would get him fired in 2 years. You live in the past. And Im sure we dont mingle in the same social circles becaus if we did, you would be out that circle. You claim to know the kind of person I am? By some comments Ive made on here. You sound to me like someone who took a couple of psyc classes at the local junior college and now you want to group ppl together. As far as feeling sorry for my daughter, take care of yours cause mine is doing pretty good.

I posted this image a while ago...but it's relevant to your post here...This happened 5 yards in front of the ref (the ball is just out of frame to the left, and the ref is just out of frame to the right), and it was not the first blatant foul in the game, yet none were called. If you are the proud papa of #20, wouldn't you be saying something (probably loudly) to the ref at around this moment in time? Luckily the punch was deflected by her arm and the offender missed her intended target (my dd's face).
[img][/img]
I understand your post about overzealous parents taking the fun out of the game for the kids...but just because the ref is "in charge" does not meant they have the game "in control" - and when my DD is on the receiving end of a forearm shiver, I am going to let the ref know about it. I teach my daughter never to argue with refs...I tell her that I pay attention, and if a ref needs to be yelled at, It is up to me to do it, not her - she is to just play her hardest, keep her cool and have fun.

Don't let these parents get to you. There is nothing anyone can say or do to make them understand.

Your message is good and one that would let these kids flouish even more. It is always very easy to see which parents either never played a competitive sport or never made it past high school athletics.

It is very comical and absolutely great entertainment to sit back and watch some of these parents.

nice video and parents should be more civil on the sideline because you are teaching your kid how to behave. However this isn't going to stop kids from quitting sports at 13. At 13 kids are becoming independent enough to decide on their own what they want to spend time on. Also the sports become more competative and a seperation starts to happen. Kids often realize they are not good enough to play at a high competative level sooner than mom and dad. We call it burnout the truth is its just reality. I am not sure if it's hypocritical or just funny that adults would sit around and discuss "why wouldn't anyone want to play sports, it's fun" Really? How much sports do you play? A kid who wants to quit competative sports isn't broken and neither are his parents. Thats just life and part of growing up. Stop trying to coddle your kids and listening to these "experts"

Go99 - I completely agree. The one thing I would add, and would be open to insights from others, is that the actions of parents can have a huge positive or negative influence on if their kid loves a sport or not. If they are viewed as the 'command and control' parent who is verbally and physically forcing their child to play a sport, their child will have a greater chance of not 'loving' the sport. Parents who help teach their kids to set their own goals (not the goals of parents)and work daily to achieve them will do so much more good than a parent who screams and yells. The problem is that many loud parents don't have any personal goals for themselves so they live vicariously through their kids. The parents goals become what they want their kids to become. Since my DD starting playing academy 2 years ago, I have seen too many girls crying because of the pressure put on them by their parents and the 'investment' the parent believes they are making. Insecurity breeds frustration.

Remember - not all parents and styles are created equally. Maybe this is too 'heady' or 'psychological' for some parents, but it is true. Just like a fish is the last to discover water, so are obnoxious parents the last to realize they are obnoxious. This leaves the rest of us to hope they don't scream at our kids when we play their child. I will be just as happy if my daughter becomes a doctor or lawyer than if she becomes a soccer or basketball star, as long as she is happy and challenging herself daily. Some parents might not share these thoughts, which is their right.

one of the most important things at a very young age is that a kid learns to love the sport. Later when it becomes hard work, it's that love of the sport that will carry them thru. The most important coach in my bb's soccer was his first rec coach. She didn't know alot about soccer but knew kids and she let him have fun being himself. He was small and affraid of the other kids and definitely not the kid you would want on your team and every second drove me crazy. Now he is playing up in age aginst kids who are 2yr older on a top D1 team. He never puts the ball down because he absolutely loves every second he get to play the game

Peak_Performance_Dad wrote:Go99 - I completely agree. The one thing I would add, and would be open to insights from others, is that the actions of parents can have a huge positive or negative influence on if their kid loves a sport or not. If they are viewed as the 'command and control' parent who is verbally and physically forcing their child to play a sport, their child will have a greater chance of not 'loving' the sport. Parents who help teach their kids to set their own goals (not the goals of parents)and work daily to achieve them will do so much more good than a parent who screams and yells. The problem is that many loud parents don't have any personal goals for themselves so they live vicariously through their kids. The parents goals become what they want their kids to become. Since my DD starting playing academy 2 years ago, I have seen too many girls crying because of the pressure put on them by their parents and the 'investment' the parent believes they are making. Insecurity breeds frustration.

Remember - not all parents and styles are created equally. Maybe this is too 'heady' or 'psychological' for some parents, but it is true. Just like a fish is the last to discover water, so are obnoxious parents the last to realize they are obnoxious. This leaves the rest of us to hope they don't scream at our kids when we play their child. I will be just as happy if my daughter becomes a doctor or lawyer than if she becomes a soccer or basketball star, as long as she is happy and challenging herself daily. Some parents might not share these thoughts, which is their right.

One issue you pointed out is something I see all the time. Parents that often refer to their kids team as "We" won the game or "We" are not playing well and are so emotionally invested in the team as if they were playing the game. The Parents that have no other outside interests other than their kids sports are often the ones that go overboard and lose it. They have nothing else in life to look forward to. I am guilty of this at times, but also know when to back off. ARguably, it you are even on this forum, you are probably too involved in little kids soccer.

RunsLikeWind wrote:
One issue you pointed out is something I see all the time. Parents that often refer to their kids team as "We" won the game or "We" are not playing well and are so emotionally invested in the team as if they were playing the game. The Parents that have no other outside interests other than their kids sports are often the ones that go overboard and lose it. They have nothing else in life to look forward to. I am guilty of this at times, but also know when to back off. ARguably, it you are even on this forum, you are probably too involved in little kids soccer.

Got it... never use the pronouns "we" or "us" or "our team" to describe the team, the parents, etc...I should use "them", "that team" or "those kids"..as if they are not my kids or that there is no semblance of team between all the kids and parents...got it. And by participating in this forum, I am a crazy parent...just like you...got it.

10sDad wrote:[quote="RunsLikeWind
One issue you pointed out is something I see all the time. Parents that often refer to their kids team as "We" won the game or "We" are not playing well and are so emotionally invested in the team as if they were playing the game. The Parents that have no other outside interests other than their kids sports are often the ones that go overboard and lose it. They have nothing else in life to look forward to. I am guilty of this at times, but also know when to back off. ARguably, it you are even on this forum, you are probably too involved in little kids soccer.

Got it... never use the pronouns "we" or "us" or "our team" to describe the team, the parents, etc...I should use "them", "that team" or "those kids"..as if they are not my kids or that there is no semblance of team between all the kids and parents...got it. And by participating in this forum, I am a crazy parent...just like you...got it. [/quote]


Good to hear. By the way you could probably say "our girls played well", or "they looked really good today." AFter all, they are the one putting in the work, making the decisions and playing on the field. All you do is pay money and cheer. Like the rest of us.....

i don't think its the involvment. I find that the kids who's parents aren't involved don't do as well. It is important to me because it is important to them. They key is to push and support their interest and dreams, and not turn it into "your" dreams.

10sDad wrote:I posted this image a while ago...but it's relevant to your post here....

NO it's not relevant to this post. I thought it was totally classless the last time you posted this picture and tried to make a case your daughter was punched. Now you're posting the same picture again from a game that happened long ago to make a point about your DD getting punched in ulittle soccer. It's a still frame shot. One millisecond in time. Any parent who regularly photographs their kids with a decent cam gets tons of shots like these. They're frames capturing moments and can't reveal the context of what really happened. There's an entire genre of internet sports pics capturing still frames that appear wild or interesting in isolation, but aren't notable in the context of full motion.

Nothing in this single pic indicates the other kid intentionally struck your kid, and this time around you've admitted her opponent didn't actually hit your kid. Even if she DID, posting pictures of little kids on the internet and trying to call them out for fouling your daughter is....[insert superlative of choice].

RunsLikeWind wrote:

10sDad wrote:

RunsLikeWind wrote:
One issue you pointed out is something I see all the time. Parents that often refer to their kids team as "We" won the game or "We" are not playing well and are so emotionally invested in the team as if they were playing the game. The Parents that have no other outside interests other than their kids sports are often the ones that go overboard and lose it. They have nothing else in life to look forward to. I am guilty of this at times, but also know when to back off. ARguably, it you are even on this forum, you are probably too involved in little kids soccer.

Got it... never use the pronouns "we" or "us" or "our team" to describe the team, the parents, etc...I should use "them", "that team" or "those kids"..as if they are not my kids or that there is no semblance of team between all the kids and parents...got it. And by participating in this forum, I am a crazy parent...just like you...got it.

Good to hear. By the way you could probably say "our girls played well", or "they looked really good today." AFter all, they are the one putting in the work, making the decisions and playing on the field. All you do is pay money and cheer. Like the rest of us.....

10sDad is going to start referring to himself in the third person now too, just to make sure something bad is never said about him. No more pronouns for him...they are just too confusing. OOPS! I said "they" to refer to pronouns...this is harder than I thought! I mean hard than 10sDad thought it was...."it"?..crap..I give up.

3-4-3 wrote:

10sDad wrote:I posted this image a while ago...but it's relevant to your post here....

NO it's not relevant to this post. I thought it was totally classless the last time you posted this picture and tried to make a case your daughter was punched. Now you're posting the same picture again from a game that happened long ago to make a point about your DD getting punched in ulittle soccer. It's a still frame shot. One millisecond in time. Any parent who regularly photographs their kids with a decent cam gets tons of shots like these. They're frames capturing moments and can't reveal the context of what really happened. There's an entire genre of internet sports pics capturing still frames that appear wild or interesting in isolation, but aren't notable in the context of full motion.

Nothing in this single pic indicates the other kid intentionally struck your kid, and this time around you've admitted her opponent didn't actually hit your kid. Even if she DID, posting pictures of little kids on the internet and trying to call them out for fouling your daughter is....[insert superlative of choice].

check the position of the feet, and the extension of the elbow...its pretty obvious. AND - because my dd saw it coming and successfully deflected it....ITS SOMEHOW OK????? WTF???

Now...the relevancy is that the ref was not controlling the game, and allowing cheap shot after cheap shot to occur unchecked. It got worse as the game progressed because the team figured out they could get away with it. Luckily our team did not retaliate, as I have seen many times when older kids games get out of control (saw one degrade to an all out brawl between players/parents/etc. - cops were called). The ref's primary responsibility is the safety of the players. When blatant foul after blatent foul occurs without penalty, the players become tired of waiting for the ref to take control, and they start retaliating. In these situations, parents get to yapping, and the whole experience turns into a melee - simply because the referee did not control the game.
As stated earlier, our team did not retaliate, nor did things get out of hand - probably for that reason. Our team just took it and played through it. Soccer is a physical sport, and you are gonna get knocked around once in a while - but this stuff has no place - and when a referee is losing control of the game and thusly putting MY child at risk for serious injury from intentional punches/elbows/cleats up slides/etc...he/she is d@mn sure gonna hear it from me on the sideline...

I Coach my DD in a Sport Other than Soccer (Basketball), which Affords Me VARYING Perspectives & Examples of the Parent-Child Dynamic...I've Seen All Types Over the Years...

If Your Child is Kicking & Screaming as You're "Dragging" them to an Activity, There's a Problem...If There NEVER Comes a Moment that You Can GENUINELY Praise or Encourage Your Child During Said Activity, There's a Problem...(ie., if it's ALL Negative, ALL the Time, You Should Probably Tap Out...)

But Having Said That, a Parent is there to GUIDE/INFLUENCE their Child's Life...If Your Child has Demonstrated an APTITUDE in a Particular Area(s) Why WOULDN'T You Give her a Nudge in that Direction???...A "Successful" Life is about RECOGNIZING Your Talents & Working TOWARDS them, Isn't It???...In Hindsight, There's Things I WISH My Parents had MADE me Do, But Since I was a Young & Dumb Kid, they Didn't Force the Issue...All I Had to Say was "I Don't Want To" or "I Don't Feel Like It" & the Matter was Dead, No Questions Asked...All the While, Maybe I just Wanted to Watch a Cartoon that Particular Day or had a Rough Practice the Week Prior, & Wussed Out...Something a PARENTAL Nudge Would've Easily Overcome...

Should an 8/9 Year Old Be the SOLE Voice when it Comes to Decisions that Could Impact their Lives???...Did YOU REALLY Have it All Figured Out by 15-16???...I Know for a Fact I Didn't...

Bringing it Back to Soccer, I'm DEFINITELY a Vocal Sideline Parent, but Since My Wife HASN'T Told Me I've Embarrassed Her, the Family or Myself (Yet! ), I'd Have to Say I Keep Things in Perspective, Overall...

If Your DD's Played Enough Soccer, U've SEEN Her Look Flat or a Bit Off from Time to Time...Have U NOT Offered Up Some High Volume "Advice" in those Instances???...You just Sit Back & Let them Figure it Out for Themselves 100% of the Time, Huh???...Believe it or Not, Children Can Be ENERGIZED by that Familiar Voice...In a TOUGH Game, Maybe that Loud Utterance from the Sideline BOOSTED her Enough to Make a Play???...

I See Nothing Wrong w/Being Emotional as Looooong as You're NOT Overbearing...If You're Belittling your Child, Being an ARROGANT A$$ on the Other Teams Sideline or Walking on the Field to Confront Players from the Other Team (Still Can't Believe that Actually Happened ), You Need to CHECK Yourself...

DEUCEE'Sdaddy wrote:I Coach my DD in a Sport Other than Soccer (Basketball), which Affords Me VARYING Perspectives & Examples of the Parent-Child Dynamic...I've Seen All Types Over the Years...

If Your Child is Kicking & Screaming as You're "Dragging" them to an Activity, There's a Problem...If There NEVER Comes a Moment that You Can GENUINELY Praise or Encourage Your Child During Said Activity, There's a Problem...(ie., if it's ALL Negative, ALL the Time, You Should Probably Tap Out...)

But Having Said That, a Parent is there to GUIDE/INFLUENCE their Child's Life...If Your Child has Demonstrated an APTITUDE in a Particular Area(s) Why WOULDN'T You Give her a Nudge in that Direction???...A "Successful" Life is about RECOGNIZING Your Talents & Working TOWARDS them, Isn't It???...In Hindsight, There's Things I WISH My Parents had MADE me Do, But Since I was a Young & Dumb Kid, they Didn't Force the Issue...All I Had to Say was "I Don't Want To" or "I Don't Feel Like It" & the Matter was Dead, No Questions Asked...All the While, Maybe I just Wanted to Watch a Cartoon that Particular Day or had a Rough Practice the Week Prior, & Wussed Out...Something a PARENTAL Nudge Would've Easily Overcome...

Should an 8/9 Year Old Be the SOLE Voice when it Comes to Decisions that Could Impact their Lives???...Did YOU REALLY Have it All Figured Out by 15-16???...I Know for a Fact I Didn't...

Bringing it Back to Soccer, I'm DEFINITELY a Vocal Sideline Parent, but Since My Wife HASN'T Told Me I've Embarrassed Her, the Family or Myself (Yet! ), I'd Have to Say I Keep Things in Perspective, Overall...

If Your DD's Played Enough Soccer, U've SEEN Her Look Flat or a Bit Off from Time to Time...Have U NOT Offered Up Some High Volume "Advice" in those Instances???...You just Sit Back & Let them Figure it Out for Themselves 100% of the Time, Huh???...Believe it or Not, Children Can Be ENERGIZED by that Familiar Voice...In a TOUGH Game, Maybe that Loud Utterance from the Sideline BOOSTED her Enough to Make a Play???...

I See Nothing Wrong w/Being Emotional as Looooong as You're NOT Overbearing...If You're Belittling your Child, Being an ARROGANT A$$ on the Other Teams Sideline or Walking on the Field to Confront Players from the Other Team (Still Can't Believe that Actually Happened ), You Need to CHECK Yourself...

http://ucommunications.colorado.edu/services/style-guide/capitalization

masterpain wrote:

DEUCEE'Sdaddy wrote:I Coach my DD in a Sport Other than Soccer (Basketball), which Affords Me VARYING Perspectives & Examples of the Parent-Child Dynamic...I've Seen All Types Over the Years...

If Your Child is Kicking & Screaming as You're "Dragging" them to an Activity, There's a Problem...If There NEVER Comes a Moment that You Can GENUINELY Praise or Encourage Your Child During Said Activity, There's a Problem...(ie., if it's ALL Negative, ALL the Time, You Should Probably Tap Out...)

But Having Said That, a Parent is there to GUIDE/INFLUENCE their Child's Life...If Your Child has Demonstrated an APTITUDE in a Particular Area(s) Why WOULDN'T You Give her a Nudge in that Direction???...A "Successful" Life is about RECOGNIZING Your Talents & Working TOWARDS them, Isn't It???...In Hindsight, There's Things I WISH My Parents had MADE me Do, But Since I was a Young & Dumb Kid, they Didn't Force the Issue...All I Had to Say was "I Don't Want To" or "I Don't Feel Like It" & the Matter was Dead, No Questions Asked...All the While, Maybe I just Wanted to Watch a Cartoon that Particular Day or had a Rough Practice the Week Prior, & Wussed Out...Something a PARENTAL Nudge Would've Easily Overcome...

Should an 8/9 Year Old Be the SOLE Voice when it Comes to Decisions that Could Impact their Lives???...Did YOU REALLY Have it All Figured Out by 15-16???...I Know for a Fact I Didn't...

Bringing it Back to Soccer, I'm DEFINITELY a Vocal Sideline Parent, but Since My Wife HASN'T Told Me I've Embarrassed Her, the Family or Myself (Yet! ), I'd Have to Say I Keep Things in Perspective, Overall...

If Your DD's Played Enough Soccer, U've SEEN Her Look Flat or a Bit Off from Time to Time...Have U NOT Offered Up Some High Volume "Advice" in those Instances???...You just Sit Back & Let them Figure it Out for Themselves 100% of the Time, Huh???...Believe it or Not, Children Can Be ENERGIZED by that Familiar Voice...In a TOUGH Game, Maybe that Loud Utterance from the Sideline BOOSTED her Enough to Make a Play???...

I See Nothing Wrong w/Being Emotional as Looooong as You're NOT Overbearing...If You're Belittling your Child, Being an ARROGANT A$$ on the Other Teams Sideline or Walking on the Field to Confront Players from the Other Team (Still Can't Believe that Actually Happened ), You Need to CHECK Yourself...

http://ucommunications.colorado.edu/services/style-guide/capitalization

I see nothing wrong with cheering. Some parents are crazy, we all admit that. When you cheer on your player, don't encourage rough play. A nudge to win the ball is ok, it's done all the time. However, when girls come home with bruises and pinch marks on their backs because the team they are playing has no skill and has to be physical to win a ball is sad. That behavior should be discouraged not a 'good job, keep it up'
Then you have the crazies who coach. You pay the coach for that!

10sDad wrote:
check the position of the feet, and the extension of the elbow...its pretty obvious. AND - because my dd saw it coming and successfully deflected it....ITS SOMEHOW OK????? WTF???

No one said anything about it being ok. I said it isn't clear a foul occurred from this picture alone. I'd put money the parent of the other dd in the pic has a different version. The point is EVEN if you had a conclusive pic, it's AT BEST very poor taste to post pictures of 7 or 8-year-old children on a public forum for any negative purpose.

I generally like your posts so not going to demonize xara you. But I suspect most adults wouldn't want pics of their young child posted for negative discussion, and wouldn't do it to anyone else's kid.

Nocrying wrote:

Peak_Performance_Dad wrote:Nocrying - I guess we know where you fall in the spectrum. The fact that you couldn't understand a word I said tells me all I need to know about you. Hopefully your daughter will still have a parent on her side if she doesn't make the US National Team.
As for the rec comment, not sure how to take that. I guess your belief is that competitive soccer only works with loud, obnoxious parents. I couldn't disagree with you more. Feel free to elaborate on comment if you like.
In the end, my guess is that you and I live in different social circles, so we probably don't understand each other very well. My guess is also that you probably have never heard of John Wooden and you would 'not understand' his coaching style. If you have a few minutes and are open to it, feel free to learn a little from him:

http://www.ted.com/talks/john_wooden_on_the_difference_between_winning_and_success.html

Whether I know who John Wooden is or not does not make you right. His coaching style today would get him fired in 2 years. You live in the past. And Im sure we dont mingle in the same social circles becaus if we did, you would be out that circle. You claim to know the kind of person I am? By some comments Ive made on here. You sound to me like someone who took a couple of psyc classes at the local junior college and now you want to group ppl together. As far as feeling sorry for my daughter, take care of yours cause mine is doing pretty good.

Pretty well. She's doing pretty well. I'm guessing your social circles don't include a large number of high school graduates.

Stay in school, kids, or one day you, too, may seek to denigrate the intelligent people whose houses you paint.

I totally agree, that parents need to calm down on the sidelines with coaching and barking out order to their child. The worst ones scream and yell at their kids for not trying hard enough or getting the ball taken away. My belief is that you are paying the coach to teach your DD or BB a game. Please allow them to do their job. If you feel as a parent that you need to be coaching or yelling at your child from the sideline, I would challenge you to go find a better coach or at least one you trust more.

On my DD's team we have a lot of parents that are loud and get very excited when the girls are doing well. This I encourage! Although some people may see this as annoying, I don't because it's positive and ultimately it gets the girls excited when they know their doing well. I am lucky because we have a great group of parents that really like eachother. My daughter has been playing academy soccer for 2- years and I have seen some very obnoxious parents in my short time. It only seems to get worse as the kids get older because the games get more important and the competition gets even better.

On the subject of people living through there children. I believe this is a huge problem and is what is most wrong with obnoxious parents. I played goalkeeper for twenty years and now my dd is taking interest in the position, and I have never told her that I played because I have always understood how important it is for the little one to make up their own minds on what they want to do. It scares me a lot because I know how hard it is and how dangerous it is but if that's what she wants to do and she loves it, I'm perfect with it.

My suggestion to any parent would be. Just make sure your child is having fun and enjoys whatever they do. As long as they enjoy it, they will love it and be great at it.

3-4-3 wrote:

10sDad wrote:
check the position of the feet, and the extension of the elbow...its pretty obvious. AND - because my dd saw it coming and successfully deflected it....ITS SOMEHOW OK????? WTF???

No one said anything about it being ok. I said it isn't clear a foul occurred from this picture alone. I'd put money the parent of the other dd in the pic has a different version. The point is EVEN if you had a conclusive pic, it's AT BEST very poor taste to post pictures of 7 or 8-year-old children on a public forum for any negative purpose.

I generally like your posts so not going to demonize xara you. But I suspect most adults wouldn't want pics of their young child posted for negative discussion, and wouldn't do it to anyone else's kid.

You need to take off your raserose colored glasses. This has nothing to do with whether or not this happened. I suspect that you think the uniform can do no wrong, and even when presented with conclusive proof, you still deny it.

In response to the call for "silence from the sideline", my point has been all along that I, as a parent, am not going to sit silently on the sideline when this occurs multiple times in a game without the ref taking control. My vocal chords are gonna get a workout. If the feel-good, ref can do no wrong, new-age parenting posters here don't like it...it's not my problem. I would challenge even the quietest of parents to keep quiet during a game when this happens over and over to their little one...

I hold no animosity toward the little one throwing the elbow, and I am confident that the Liverpool coach(es) do not encourage this behavior - In fact, I am certain that they discourage it. When kids are put under pressure to perform, and faced with a challenge, they will do whatever they can to avoid "getting in trouble". Soccer is a rough sport, and you are going to get knocked around quite frequently - and its not uncommon for a player to get frustrated and attempt to apply any tactic available to them to gain the advantage over the player that is frustrating them. You had better be prepared to get some new bruises and bleed a bit, or you should pick another sport.

Athletics teaches us life-lessons through the concept of fouls, rules, and penalties that you can only accomplish what you have trained and prepared to do. If you "cheat", "bend the rules", act out of frustration, pull shirts, illegally gain an advantage, etc. you are penalized for it - or you "get in trouble". That's why we have referees. If you train harder than your opponent, chances are you will have a LEGAL advantage come game time.