New soccer mom here…..

I am a referee.
If your description was true, I would issue Yellow in both cases and asked the coach to replace both of them and let them sit on bench for a while.  For U10 kids, I don’t like to give Red since they still don’t quite understand the consequence yet.
If it was U11 and above, the 1st case certainly would receive a Red from me.

Some coaches just did not get it. Two week ago, I did a U-10 boy game. I already told a kid to maintain 10 yard for opposing team’s free kick. But, he ran to block the kicking. I immediately pull out yellow. The coach kept argued with me why. After the game, the parents told me this was the first yellow for their team this season.
BTW, after that yellow, that kid never did that anymore.
[/quote]

This was a U10 game. I wish you had reffed that game, because you are an enigma in refereeing in academy! You yellowed a U10 kid for rushing a free kick after a warning???!!! I have never seen that. Like I said before, I have never even seen a yellow much less a red in 3 years.

I do get your point about coaches and parents bad behavior. I've often thought that perhaps many of these rules you refs need to comply with many times have been slowly created by pressures put on the governing bodies by clubs, coaches and parents to allow more bad play without consequences from the refereeing. The amount of rough play I see on the girls side now, I could never get away with when I was U9. So the loosening of the rules have to have occurred over time.

ojx111 wrote:For U10 kids, I don’t like to give Red since they still don’t quite understand the consequence yet.

There is is right from the horses mouth.

Cobra_Kai wrote:I hear a ref stopped short of an 06' red card, because he didn't want to ruin that poor girl's tournament.  It's good to know they care.

I saw this play when it happened. And while yes, within the LOTG it should have been a red, i understand why the ref decided on yellow.
I do agree with ojx11 and tulsa at this age, that yellow followed by a trip to the bench seems appropriate. With that said, once said player returns to the field, if its obvious that the 1st yellow didn't do the trick, don't hesitate with the 2nd.

Cobra_Kai wrote:

ojx111 wrote:For U10 kids, I don’t like to give Red since they still don’t quite understand the consequence yet.

 There is is right from the horses mouth.  

They dont understand because a ref wont help them learn! Do your job!!

It's the ref's job to ensure player safety, govern the game in accordance with the rules and not sway the outcome.. in so many words.

Right from wrong.. that's on the parents & coaches.  If the ref is the one that has to explain to the player that it's not ok to yank someone down by their ponytail, cleat a player, come in elbows high when challenging for a ball or shoving them in the back.. we've got much bigger problems.  

It's our job, first & foremost to teach our kids what is & isn't acceptable.  You don't have to know the sport to recognize malice and unsportsmanlike conduct. How a player carries themselves on the pitch is a direct reflection on what they are being taught at home and practice. If the parent encourages that type of play, shame on them.. and it will come back to bite you. If the coach allows or encourages it.. find another team.

SWINGIT!! wrote:

Cobra_Kai wrote:I hear a ref stopped short of an 06' red card, because he didn't want to ruin that poor girl's tournament.  It's good to know they care.

I saw this play when it happened. And while yes, within the LOTG it should have been a red, i understand why the ref decided on yellow.
I do agree with ojx11 and tulsa at this age, that yellow followed by a trip to the bench seems appropriate. With that said, once said player returns to the field, if its obvious that the 1st yellow didn't do the trick, don't hesitate with the 2nd.

What do you guys do when your DD is going into a game against a known assassin? Do you give her a heads up or do you just send her in blindly and hope for the best?

The_Dude wrote:It's the ref's job to ensure player safety, govern the game in accordance with the rules and not sway the outcome.. in so many words.

Right from wrong.. that's on the parents & coaches.  If the ref is the one that has to explain to the player that it's not ok to yank someone down by their ponytail, cleat a player, come in elbows high when challenging for a ball or shoving them in the back.. we've got much bigger problems.  

It's our job, first & foremost to teach our kids what is & isn't acceptable.  You don't have to know the sport to recognize malice and unsportsmanlike conduct.

I agree with your sentiment and logic. Ultimately, everybody along the line will make mistakes and it is up to the parents to discipline their child when they do make mistakes on the soccer field whether the coach or ref does. If a parent does not teach their kid how to play cleanly on the field, then no ref will.

I was aggressive when I played, I had older brothers that I liked to compete with so I just became tougher. Anytime I got yellows or reds, I was talked to by my folks afterwards, mainly Dad and from the conversation I learned to channel my aggression in getting better. In my youth days I usually got yellows and reds on a better player who was faster and had more ball control. I learned that I can channel that aggression in to speed and control. But then that was my personality, to get better. But is was helped by the refs, coaches (I had some really good ones) and ultimately, my folks.

Cobra_Kai wrote:

SWINGIT!! wrote:

Cobra_Kai wrote:I hear a ref stopped short of an 06' red card, because he didn't want to ruin that poor girl's tournament.  It's good to know they care.

I saw this play when it happened. And while yes, within the LOTG it should have been a red, i understand why the ref decided on yellow.
I do agree with ojx11 and tulsa at this age, that yellow followed by a trip to the bench seems appropriate. With that said, once said player returns to the field, if its obvious that the 1st yellow didn't do the trick, don't hesitate with the 2nd.

What do you guys do when your DD is going into a game against a known assassin?  Do you give her a heads up or do you just send her in blindly and hope for the best?

I give the heads up so she can use a little deterrent to over aggressive challenges playing the body....

Cobra_Kai wrote:

SWINGIT!! wrote:

Cobra_Kai wrote:I hear a ref stopped short of an 06' red card, because he didn't want to ruin that poor girl's tournament.  It's good to know they care.

I saw this play when it happened. And while yes, within the LOTG it should have been a red, i understand why the ref decided on yellow.
I do agree with ojx11 and tulsa at this age, that yellow followed by a trip to the bench seems appropriate. With that said, once said player returns to the field, if its obvious that the 1st yellow didn't do the trick, don't hesitate with the 2nd.

What do you guys do when your DD is going into a game against a known assassin?  Do you give her a heads up or do you just send her in blindly and hope for the best?

I don't.  The girls usually know better than we do which players and teams to watch out for.

SWINGIT!! wrote:

Cobra_Kai wrote:

SWINGIT!! wrote:

Cobra_Kai wrote:I hear a ref stopped short of an 06' red card, because he didn't want to ruin that poor girl's tournament.  It's good to know they care.

I saw this play when it happened. And while yes, within the LOTG it should have been a red, i understand why the ref decided on yellow.
I do agree with ojx11 and tulsa at this age, that yellow followed by a trip to the bench seems appropriate. With that said, once said player returns to the field, if its obvious that the 1st yellow didn't do the trick, don't hesitate with the 2nd.

What do you guys do when your DD is going into a game against a known assassin?  Do you give her a heads up or do you just send her in blindly and hope for the best?

I don't.  The girls usually know better than we do which players and teams to watch out for.

Agreed. Its a players game. They usually work it out.

But I will give her 2 Red Bulls instead of the usual 1, if there's a player(s) that she absolutely needs to avoid.