How to Spot a Hack Coach

OLJW wrote:No need for all that. I can summarize it for you.

Step 1. Accept the fact that you and your offspring are freaks.

Step 2. Enjoy.....but under no circumstances should you talk to any of the rest of us.

You're Welcome.

ROFL!!! The freak part I have long since come to accept.

Man, this thread reminds me of the end of a bad game. First hate on the coach, then hate on the keeper lol personally as a mom of a keeper who is height challenged I don't think it's in my DD best interest to put all her eggs in one basket so she'll train to be flexible for whatever the future throws at her.. But what do I know, I'm just a freaky lurking keeper parent 

Step 3: "Own goal" is a soccer term for GK's that means "Why did you just stand there and watch it go into your OWN GOAL?"

Step 4: If you ever have any questions or disputes about anything and need clarification,  please refer to step 2.

Feelin' the love

lovemykeeper wrote:Feelin' the love

That's not "love" that you're feelin'. That's a display of a symptom known as "acute keeper disorder". Only keepers and their parents get it. Scientific studies have shown that keepers have an overly active location in the brain called the hypothalamus. This is the same portion of the brain that was primarily used by Neanderthals. This also explains why today's keepers still speak in that strange Sasquatch type language. Those same studies also show that the rest of the keeper's brain is primarily used as a cushioning device to protect the hypothalamus. This explains how a keeper may run through a forward, even a forward 4 times their size, while the keeper exhibits no discernible damage. Essentially, keepers are the missing link between modern humans and our ancient predessors. As such, they are a separate species and must be protected and studied.

If it feels like love, that is good. Love makes the world go 'round. Besides, nobody wants to go to war against an army comprised of keepers.

Goalkeepers are the only players who still possess that primal vestige of their ancient predecessors. What other position marks their territory and defends it.

OLJW wrote:

lovemykeeper wrote:Feelin' the love

...also explains why today's keepers still speak in that strange Sasquatch type language...

Ahh you mean, "get your A@@ out of my area!" and "I really like you guys but do you think you can actually push forward sometime during the game" and my favorite, "please stop hitting my elbow with your chin!"

LOL!!! Wow... Some strong opinions on a single position. But who here doesn't want a hard-working, self sacrificing keeper in the box who is only a tiny bit shy of crazy? You've gotta love 'em. I sure do

A little shy of crazy...then not a real keeper. GK has always been the one who was off.
When I played men's league in Waco, we had a guy who wore fatigues and a little Castro cap. And he carried a bottle of tequila into the goal with him. We just hoped that he took more shots in the second half than the first. The guy was a whack job...but he was brave and tough...definitely better when he could see.

Love the keeper i know this thread was supposed to be about hack coaches. There was just a softball about keeping in one position. It seemed like a natural discussion to move to the crazy nd bravest position on the pitch. They take blame and are heros. Its a tough job but someone has to do it. Not sure who I feel more for the dd or the parent after a soft one is let in. Back to the hack coaches and leave keepers be.

I get so tired of parents using Messi and Ronaldo as an example. Especially in girls soccer. You want to namecheck two of the greatest players to have ever played the game to validate why your kid should be x, y and z?

The countless parents who insist their daughters want to be these two rather than being a Scholes or Zidane. Ask an American parent to namecheck any world class defender over the last three decades and you may as well ask for the minions home address.

Every basketball player can't be Jordan. Unfortunately, the majority of soccer parents haven't clued in that their kid won't be Messi. And you know what? It wasn't the coaching.

Paul scholes who ? Just 5'6" midfielder, he would have been not big, not strong, not good enough to play club soccer in NTX.

the7wolf wrote:I get so tired of parents using Messi and Ronaldo as an example. Especially in girls soccer. You want to namecheck two of the greatest players to have ever played the game to validate why your kid should be x, y and z?

The countless parents who insist their daughters want to be these two rather than being a Scholes or Zidane. Ask an American parent to namecheck any world class defender over the last three decades and you may as well ask for the minions home address.

Every basketball player can't be Jordan. Unfortunately, the majority of soccer parents haven't clued in that their kid won't be Messi. And you know what? It wasn't the coaching.

Elpistolero wrote:Paul scholes who ? Just 5'6" midfielder, he would have been not big, not strong, not good enough to play club soccer in NTX

100% wrong. Just a parent myth created to make excuses for why their small DDs aren't studs. Too many smaller players make noise out of NTX for this to have any legs...since barca/spain rise the last decade and us soccer trying so desperately to copy them, small players who can dribble have an advantage. Small players retain their quickness without as much work during the early scouting years, so their mobility stands out until larger players are old enough to put muscle on their frames.  Go look at the YNT call ups or the recruiting rankings for NTX...more smaller stature players than anything else. I knew I wouldnt be able to hold it together....lol...Scholes would've been just fine in NTX...as long as he found any  one of the (many) coaches who value technical players.

the7wolf wrote:I get so tired of parents using Messi and Ronaldo as an example. Especially in girls soccer. You want to namecheck two of the greatest players to have ever played the game to validate why your kid should be x, y and z?

The countless parents who insist their daughters want to be these two rather than being a Scholes or Zidane. Ask an American parent to namecheck any world class defender over the last three decades and you may as well ask for the minions home address.

Every basketball player can't be Jordan. Unfortunately, the majority of soccer parents haven't clued in that their kid won't be Messi. And you know what? It wasn't the coaching.

Marcelo keeps this American entertained, although I don't know if he's worldclass defender or a specialist.

Speaking of defense, how embarrassing for Chelsea today! That third goal allowed was flat out lazy.

Single factor large or small, skilled or no skill is speed. Decision making, processing, and physical speed. Speed is the intangible that can and cannot be taught. That's a good one to chew on.

Sho'nuff wrote:

Speaking of defense, how embarrassing for Chelsea today! That third goal allowed was flat out lazy.

Allowing Petr Cech to move to Arsenal was the worst Abramovich move ever. Jose Mourinho is definitely on record in disagreement with the move so it's all on the owner.  On the Flipside, Arsenal had another win and are still up top on points.

For anyone who needs proof that a strong GK is essential for a successful defense, go no further than Chelsea.

PremierLeagueFan wrote:

Sho'nuff wrote:

Speaking of defense, how embarrassing for Chelsea today! That third goal allowed was flat out lazy.

Allowing Petr Cech to move to Arsenal was the worst Abramovich move ever. Jose Mourinho is definitely on record in disagreement with the move so it's all on the owner.  On the Flipside, Arsenal had another win and are still up top on points.

For anyone who needs proof that a strong GK is essential for a successful defense, go no further than Chelsea.

Mourinho may be on record disagreeing, but he had already made Cech second-choice to Courtois. Cech only appeared 16 times for Chelsea last year, mostly when Courtois was injured. Chelsea's problems this year go much deeper than GK.

jogobonito07 wrote:

planogirl wrote:

Coaches who only care about winning seldom provide meaningful tactical and technical feedback to players in games. They just yell.

That's just not true.  Some people think our coach yells too much but the proof is in the pudding.  We have won every game but one this season and that one loss was because of a terrible PK call.
Our kids are only 9 - how in the world do you expect them to know what to do in every situation on the field??

He may yell, but the things he is yelling to the girls are definitely meaningful from a tactical standpoint.

Our defenders need constant reminders to clear the ball.  It doesn't matter if there is pressure or not.  The other team CANNOT score if we get it out of our defensive 1/3.

Likewise, on the rare occasion one of our midfielders touches the ball, they NEED to be reminded to SEND it through.  Otherwise, they might hold it too long and give it up to the other team.

And the forwards MUST be told constantly to SHOOT!  I don't care where they are on the field, they all try to dribble and find that perfect shot, so dammit, just SHOOT!

Last Spring we only had 6 girls and now we have enough for 2 full teams.  There are more kids coming out every practice.  You want to know why?  Because we WIN!  

Last time I checked that was the point of playing sports.

Last time I checked kickball wasn't the point of playing soccer. Where can we sign up for your kickball team? What you describe is exactly that. Clear the ball, no midfield play, etc. Looks like you have an '07... just know the age where that style of play works will soon come to an end as top teams will be the ones that learn to play the game correctly. What you describe is bad coaching and is probably due to lack of experience. With me having kids that play at the highest level in older age groups I have never not seen this be the case.
Enjoy your winning right now because if your style of play doesn't change in a couple years you will be telling stories that begin with "When we used to win...."

Neo wrote:

jogobonito07 wrote:

planogirl wrote:

Coaches who only care about winning seldom provide meaningful tactical and technical feedback to players in games. They just yell.

That's just not true.  Some people think our coach yells too much but the proof is in the pudding.  We have won every game but one this season and that one loss was because of a terrible PK call.
Our kids are only 9 - how in the world do you expect them to know what to do in every situation on the field??

He may yell, but the things he is yelling to the girls are definitely meaningful from a tactical standpoint.

Our defenders need constant reminders to clear the ball.  It doesn't matter if there is pressure or not.  The other team CANNOT score if we get it out of our defensive 1/3.

Likewise, on the rare occasion one of our midfielders touches the ball, they NEED to be reminded to SEND it through.  Otherwise, they might hold it too long and give it up to the other team.

And the forwards MUST be told constantly to SHOOT!  I don't care where they are on the field, they all try to dribble and find that perfect shot, so dammit, just SHOOT!

Last Spring we only had 6 girls and now we have enough for 2 full teams.  There are more kids coming out every practice.  You want to know why?  Because we WIN!  

Last time I checked that was the point of playing sports.

Last time I checked kickball wasn't the point of playing soccer. Where can we sign up for your kickball team? What you describe is exactly that. Clear the ball, no midfield play, etc. Looks like you have an '07... just know the age where that style of play works will soon come to an end as top teams will be the ones that learn to play the game correctly. What you describe is bad coaching and is probably due to lack of experience. With me having kids that play at the highest level in older age groups I have never not seen this be the case.
Enjoy your winning right now because if your style of play doesn't change in a couple years you will be telling stories that begin with "When we used to win...."

Two dorkfish on the same corn dog, now THAT's impressive!

Oh I get it hamster... once again we will leave you to your own little world.

Zizou wrote:Single factor large or small, skilled or no skill is speed. Decision making, processing, and physical speed. Speed is the intangible that can and cannot be taught. That's a good one to chew on.

Which is why Messi, Aguero, Maradona, Iniesta...any of the small but super quick players would've been easily spotted in NTX.

The mental speed part, I dunno. Seems like we're lacking in ID'ing or valuing the mental part of the game.

NTX would struggle to produce a Xavi, Pirlo or even a Fabregas, unless they were a coaches kid on a really good technical team. No physical speed, no strength, no size, all about vision, mental speed and technique.

I could see Scholes having a problem in NTX too (my bad elpistolero). He was VERY strong on the ball as an adult, but given he only ended up 5'8ish with a slim frame, he was probably small/weak as a kid, and wasn't much quicker (physically) than a Xavi type. Elpistolero has a point and Scholes could've had a hard time in NTX youth soccer.

The bigger waste to me is NTX nor u.s. soccer develops its tremendously athletic players into skill/technique players. No phenom athletes as hold up players or Ibra/Drogba style target forwards...no dominant athletes as midfielders. We turn our best athletes into nothing more than fast defenders or run in behind, speed forwards.  We can't make the Xavi's, which is understandable considering you need the system, culture and surrounding environment to produce that kind of class. But the fact we can't make any Pogbas, Yayas, Kakas or Mullers seems like we're wasting our athletic resources. I doubt even a post knee injury Abby W. would've been a FWD in NTX...not fast enough...NTX would've had her at ctr back and told her to focus on winning every defensive header.

4-3-3 wrote:

Zizou wrote:Single factor large or small, skilled or no skill is speed. Decision making, processing, and physical speed. Speed is the intangible that can and cannot be taught. That's a good one to chew on.

Which is why Messi, Aguero, Maradona, Iniesta...any of the small but super quick players would've been easily spotted in NTX.

The mental speed part, I dunno. Seems like we're lacking in ID'ing or valuing the mental part of the game.

NTX would struggle to produce a Xavi, Pirlo or even a Fabregas, unless they were a coaches kid on a really good technical team. No physical speed, no strength, no size, all about vision, mental speed and technique.

I could see Scholes having a problem in NTX too (my bad elpistolero). He was VERY strong on the ball as an adult, but given he only ended up 5'8ish with a slim frame, he was probably small/weak as a kid, and wasn't much quicker (physically) than a Xavi type. Elpistolero has a point and Scholes could've had a hard time in NTX youth soccer.

The bigger waste to me is NTX nor u.s. soccer develops its tremendously athletic players into skill/technique players. No phenom athletes as hold up players or Ibra/Drogba style target forwards...no dominant athletes as midfielders. We turn our best athletes into nothing more than fast defenders or run in behind, speed forwards.  We can't make the Xavi's, which is understandable considering you need the system, culture and surrounding environment to produce that kind of class. But the fact we can't make any Pogbas, Yayas, Kakas or Mullers seems like we're wasting our athletic resources. I doubt even a post knee injury Abby W. would've been a FWD in NTX...not fast enough...NTX would've had her at ctr back and told her to focus on winning every defensive header.

Because it is easier for a coach to use a kid for what they are today, to win games, rather than develop them into what they could be in the future.

Probably has more to do with the win now, promotion/relegation system starting at U11.

Coaches will do what is in their best interest today, as tomorrow does not matter if you don't win today.

4-3-3, you are smart and you have valid data to support what you say, I agree with you on most of the stuff.  NTX soccer system (includes parents who jump their kids team to team , coach to coach, indoor to outdoor back to indoor), does screw a lot of raw talent with their winning is developing mentality. Thought scholes was 5'6" only when I saw him in an exhibition cricket game at lords after he retired.

4-3-3 wrote:

Zizou wrote:Single factor large or small, skilled or no skill is speed. Decision making, processing, and physical speed. Speed is the intangible that can and cannot be taught. That's a good one to chew on.

Which is why Messi, Aguero, Maradona, Iniesta...any of the small but super quick players would've been easily spotted in NTX.

The mental speed part, I dunno. Seems like we're lacking in ID'ing or valuing the mental part of the game.

NTX would struggle to produce a Xavi, Pirlo or even a Fabregas, unless they were a coaches kid on a really good technical team. No physical speed, no strength, no size, all about vision, mental speed and technique.

I could see Scholes having a problem in NTX too (my bad elpistolero). He was VERY strong on the ball as an adult, but given he only ended up 5'8ish with a slim frame, he was probably small/weak as a kid, and wasn't much quicker (physically) than a Xavi type. Elpistolero has a point and Scholes could've had a hard time in NTX youth soccer.

The bigger waste to me is NTX nor u.s. soccer develops its tremendously athletic players into skill/technique players. No phenom athletes as hold up players or Ibra/Drogba style target forwards...no dominant athletes as midfielders. We turn our best athletes into nothing more than fast defenders or run in behind, speed forwards.  We can't make the Xavi's, which is understandable considering you need the system, culture and surrounding environment to produce that kind of class. But the fact we can't make any Pogbas, Yayas, Kakas or Mullers seems like we're wasting our athletic resources. I doubt even a post knee injury Abby W. would've been a FWD in NTX...not fast enough...NTX would've had her at ctr back and told her to focus on winning every defensive header.

4-3-3 wrote:
The bigger waste to me is NTX nor u.s. soccer develops its tremendously athletic players into skill/technique players. No phenom athletes as hold up players or Ibra/Drogba style target forwards...no dominant athletes as midfielders. We turn our best athletes into nothing more than fast defenders or run in behind, speed forwards.  We can't make the Xavi's, which is understandable considering you need the system, culture and surrounding environment to produce that kind of class. But the fact we can't make any Pogbas, Yayas, Kakas or Mullers seems like we're wasting our athletic resources. I doubt even a post knee injury Abby W. would've been a FWD in NTX...not fast enough...NTX would've had her at ctr back and told her to focus on winning every defensive header.

Curious- What do you recommend?

Also, I never see the athletes themselves being cited as the reason. Is a phenom athlete going to be as hungry to put in the work needed? Where do they find the motivation?

bwgophers wrote:
Two dorkfish on the same corn dog, now THAT's impressive!

I think it's time to add a new acronym to protect unsuspecting dorkfish from snarky comments.

If you feel a post is incredibly foolish, but devoid of a sarcasm symbol to confirm it's motive then post this first: ITDB?

"Is that Dorkfish Bait"

Thanks to all Dorkfish for adhering to this important policy
Unofficial President of "Dorkfish United" aka (DorkU)

Oh and BTW, our new Slogan is:
"We won't fall for that corndog again"