Best Player on Weak Team: Avrg player on Great Team

My child has been playing Academy for about two years and is looking forward to going select. At this time, she is on a small independant team and is the best player on the team.

Over the summer and into this fall, she has been getting recruited pretty hard by some of the larger teams. She has practiced with some and enjoyed it. However, as a parent, I can see she will be in the middle of the talent range on the top teams, but is the best on her small, weaker team.

Any thought on what is best for overall development? Will it benefit her to play at a lower level with her current team but play all game, score a number of goals and be the star, or would it be better to be just a part of a larger team where she is fighting for playing time on the top team?

If she is truly middle of the pack on the good team - that's the best scenario for development. However, it's a totally different question as to where she should be to make her (and you) happy. That question isn't easily answered. Some parents (not usually the kid) believe their kid needs to be the top dog.

I have posted this math many times:

3 hours of practice per week on a good team + .5 hours of play time builds a better player than 3 hours of practice per week on a weak team + 1 hour of play time. The more exposure to better players, the better the player will become. That's the simple part. The harder part is knowing what your dd's wants/needs are versus your own. If you go in knowing high school/college isn't in her future - you will be ahead of 95% of all others going select!

I think it depends on your DD, of course. If she can't get enough soccer and is the best on her team - get her to a better team so she will be challenged. If she loves soccer, but has more fun with her friends and it more social, then keep her where she is if she is happy. My 2 cents.

RunsLikeWind wrote:My child has been playing Academy for about two years and is looking forward to going select. At this time, she is on a small independant team and is the best player on the team.

Over the summer and into this fall, she has been getting recruited pretty hard by some of the larger teams. She has practiced with some and enjoyed it. However, as a parent, I can see she will be in the middle of the talent range on the top teams, but is the best on her small, weaker team.

Any thought on what is best for overall development? Will it benefit her to play at a lower level with her current team but play all game, score a number of goals and be the star, or would it be better to be just a part of a larger team where she is fighting for playing time on the top team?

Coach is still one of the most important factors. Find the right coach on a team that will develop and challenge her as well as encourage and pump her up too. What competition is the new/old team playing? If the weak team she is on is playing weak teams...she won't get better. If the stronger team is moving to is playing weak teams...she won't get better. IMHO

Good replies. The second concern is how to go about leaving the old team,( if she decides to do that), without burning bridges? Not sure how the old coach will take it and don't want to burn any bridges in case she decides she does not like the new team and wants to come back.

Getting close to select is getting more intense and a little bit difficult.

RunsLikeWind wrote:Good replies. The second concern is how to go about leaving the old team,( if she decides to do that), without burning bridges? Not sure how the old coach will take it and don't want to burn any bridges in case she decides she does not like the new team and wants to come back.

Getting close to select is getting more intense and a little bit difficult.

guest play, guest play, guest play Make sure you like the new team before you commit! Big advantage of academy.

RunsLikeWind wrote:Good replies. The second concern is how to go about leaving the old team,( if she decides to do that), without burning bridges? Not sure how the old coach will take it and don't want to burn any bridges in case she decides she does not like the new team and wants to come back.

Getting close to select is getting more intense and a little bit difficult.

Just be open and honest with the coach - if that coach flips out, then aren't you glad you know how they really are now. If the coach is worth anything, they will understand and maybe even help you along the way. Other parents may not be understanding, but you never know. You have to look out for #1 and that is ur DD and no one else. I also suggest lots of guesting instead of changing teams like the wind.

Better to do it sooner than later.

RunsLikeWind wrote:Good replies. The second concern is how to go about leaving the old team,( if she decides to do that), without burning bridges? Not sure how the old coach will take it and don't want to burn any bridges in case she decides she does not like the new team and wants to come back.

Getting close to select is getting more intense and a little bit difficult.

I agree with what Clueless posted above. The big variable in the mix, and only you have enough information to properly assess that one, is your dd. Nothing matters more than giving her what she needs/wants. I'd start by asking her what she wants now and longer term with her soccer. Sometimes you, as a parent, have to steer a bit more as her fear of short term change is preventing her from getting to a better place that as a child she cannot quite see. We've done this a time or two with both our dd's and it has always worked out.

As far as how, just be as candid and forthright as possible with the coach and other parents. There will always be hurt feelings when leaving. It's perfectly normal and nothing wrong with it. At the end of the day, your true friends will want what's best for your dd too, even if it's not what they want for her. Bottomline, your first responsibility is to do what's right for your dd; you do not need your coach's or the other parents' agreement for this.

I suggest a candid conversation with the current coach about concerns and let him/her know you are going to continue to visit other training to ensure the grass is actually greener. Everybody can put on a happy face for a few dates; date around as much as possible before getting married.

twomattiesmom wrote:

RunsLikeWind wrote:Good replies. The second concern is how to go about leaving the old team,( if she decides to do that), without burning bridges? Not sure how the old coach will take it and don't want to burn any bridges in case she decides she does not like the new team and wants to come back.

Getting close to select is getting more intense and a little bit difficult.

guest play, guest play, guest play Make sure you like the new team before you commit! Big advantage of academy.

I agree with TwoM...and not just because I want them to join our team!

don't worry about your old coach's approval. In a few weeks he will just be 'her old coach' (unless he's your husband) then he will just be 'the old man'

imabee wrote:I think it depends on your DD, of course. If she can't get enough soccer and is the best on her team - get her to a better team so she will be challenged. If she loves soccer, but has more fun with her friends and it more social, then keep her where she is if she is happy. My 2 cents.

I think that's great advice, but I would add that the challenge should also come from the coach, and not just from the other players in practice or games. The coach should be inspiring and challenging the players to learn and practice correct technique and add to her ball control skills. It's not enough to compare one player to another- the coach (and eventually, the player) should be comparing the player to a high technical standard. Some weight should be given to which coach can do that most effectively.

If you move her to a stronger team, expect a learning curve. The game at D1 is much faster and more physical than D2 or D3. It will take time to adjust. I say move her sooner than later.

tmcc wrote:If you move her to a stronger team, expect a learning curve. The game at D1 is much faster and more physical than D2 or D3. It will take time to adjust. I say move her sooner than later.

Strongly agree with this. Keep in mind that as your DD gets older if she is staying on a lower level team then her development will be progressing at a much slower pace than those girls on the more advanced teams. If you wait to move her (I'm talking in terms of years here) it's going to be more difficult for her to move up to the better team then because her development has lagged behind the group as a whole (been there, done that). It's definitely a "big picture" type of decision with the emphasis being placed on where DD is the happiest (teammates, coach, etc.) as well as where her development will be the greatest. Good luck!

RunsLikeWind wrote:My child has been playing Academy for about two years and is looking forward to going select. At this time, she is on a small independant team and is the best player on the team.

Over the summer and into this fall, she has been getting recruited pretty hard by some of the larger teams. She has practiced with some and enjoyed it. However, as a parent, I can see she will be in the middle of the talent range on the top teams, but is the best on her small, weaker team.

Any thought on what is best for overall development? Will it benefit her to play at a lower level with her current team but play all game, score a number of goals and be the star, or would it be better to be just a part of a larger team where she is fighting for playing time on the top team?

Every parents must answer these questions, but these are questions most parents ask themselves and not ask their DD. I would look at the player and ask is she a driven and passionate player? Is soccer what she loves to do? Does she play with the ball and work on things in the back yard? Does she ask to get extra training to get better? Does she get the training? Every player no matter how good they are on any team can get better. Does she like her coach and team? Does the practices still challange her to develop? Is she getting better? Do you as a parent need to move your DD for your ego or her best interest?

I have seen kids pushed and pushed and at U13 just two years of soccer they quit, why? Parents wanted it, not the player and the D1 coaches destroyed any desire to play soccer agin. Make sure when you ask questions and make decissions is it really in the best interest of your DD or is it because you as a parent are unhappy about what you want???????? Becareful you don't kill the passion and love for the game for them because of parent ego. Make sure she understands the reasoning behind the decions and she is ready to stay or make the next step and move on. Remember Soccer could be a life long experience if they want it to be with your help!

I had a DD just like this growing up and she stayed 3 years longer on a team in the select level than I wanted her to, but I allowed her to make an educated decission. She then decided to move to a D1 team later when she was ready. Just a voice of experience, for you all you rookie parents.

RedBull wrote:

RunsLikeWind wrote:My child has been playing Academy for about two years and is looking forward to going select. At this time, she is on a small independant team and is the best player on the team.

Over the summer and into this fall, she has been getting recruited pretty hard by some of the larger teams. She has practiced with some and enjoyed it. However, as a parent, I can see she will be in the middle of the talent range on the top teams, but is the best on her small, weaker team.

Any thought on what is best for overall development? Will it benefit her to play at a lower level with her current team but play all game, score a number of goals and be the star, or would it be better to be just a part of a larger team where she is fighting for playing time on the top team?

Every parents must answer these questions, but these are questions most parents ask themselves and not ask their DD. I would look at the player and ask is she a driven and passionate player? Is soccer what she loves to do? Does she play with the ball and work on things in the back yard? Does she ask to get extra training to get better? Does she get the training? Every player no matter how good they are on any team can get better. Does she like her coach and team? Does the practices still challange her to develop? Is she getting better? Do you as a parent need to move your DD for your ego or her best interest?

I have seen kids pushed and pushed and at U13 just two years of soccer they quit, why? Parents wanted it, not the player and the D1 coaches destroyed any desire to play soccer agin. Make sure when you ask questions and make decissions is it really in the best interest of your DD or is it because you as a parent are unhappy about what you want???????? Becareful you don't kill the passion and love for the game for them because of parent ego. Make sure she understands the reasoning behind the decions and she is ready to stay or make the next step and move on. Remember Soccer could be a life long experience if they want it to be with your help!

I had a DD just like this growing up and she stayed 3 years longer on a team in the select level than I wanted her to, but I allowed her to make an educated decission. She then decided to move to a D1 team later when she was ready. Just a voice of experience, for you all you rookie parents.

My BB's former coach (who moved from home to a soccer academy at age 13) stated that he thought the reason kids burnout quick here is because it starts so young and so fast (competitive/academy doesn't start at 9 or 10 any longer). This further substantiates RedBull's statement about the parent likely controlling the kid's perception of the sport. It's all about knowing your kid or being lucky with your choice. Personally, I think kids are predestined to burnout but coaches/teams can push them off the cliff sooner.

If she likes her coach and team, most should just stop there - but, if they choose to move to greener grass, she's likely to like that coach and team as well. If you look at all of NTX, the majority of kids like their coach. There are exceptions, but kids look up to authority figures and structure is desired by them (except in their own homes, of course).

A coach can be a substitute for a more competitive team/league, but, keep in mind, your practices are limited to the skillset of the team, not the best player. Not so simple to push the kid or advance skills to the same degree on a lesser team compared to a better team. Like anything, it's a balance - coach/team/parents...nothing easy, you just hope it all works out, for the vast majority - it will!

Really, it's all about the coach. There's a 'best player' on every team, regardless of the talent pool. Again, find the coaching that connects for your daughter and for you as a family.

Dont get lured by all the sales pitches. Go try 3-4 coaches and teams.
Where are you located and what level player do you have? I will be glad to point you to several coaches/teams that I believe have the better coaches.

Keep in mind, top teams don't always mean top coaches. An average coach can appear successful because they've been handed good talent or athletes. And I know of several who are excellent coaches but they have a slightly lesser talent pool (usually ADs stick them where their talent isn't being used as much as it could; egos pride etc unfortunately) but traditionally do more with the players. You have to have the right set of lenses on or you'll be frustrated more often than not.

So all in all, don't find the team, find the coach.
If you want help, hit me up.