Newbie guide to understanding the NTX Academy vernacular

This is a guide to help the new parents of NTX Academy. Please feel free to add to the list at any time should you think something needs to be added.

"opponents goalkeeper was unbelievable" - your teams sucks. The only reason we didn't get the result we wanted was because your goalkeeper saved all those shots going to the top corner of the net. It has nothing to do with the fact that 90% of them were straight at him/her.

"broken arm" - same as every day life. However, if one of our players didn't have one, we would have got the result we wanted.

"we try to play the right way" - our team is not as athletic as the one we just played, which is the reason we didn't get the result we wanted.

"snarl" - i can't believe the opponents had some competitive girls on the other team, but we don't care becuase we play soccer the right way.

"tie" - the result of the game last weekend. However, the other teams goalkeeper was unbelievable, our midfielder had a broken arm and there was at least one girl that played with a snarl on her face.

big, tall girl" - the opposing player that is faster, more aggressive and more athletic than the players on our team.

"we play with skill" - our girls are not very athletic so even though we didn't get the result we wanted, the skill on display was great.

"results don't matter in Academy soccer" - this only comes into play when we don't get the result we wanted.

"dominate" - a word used to describe how much better our team played than yours. However, in its most often used connotation in Academy soccer it typically speaks to how we dominated, even though we didn't get the result we wanted.

"they play dirty" - used to describe an awkward tackle (imagine that in Academy girls soccer) where an opposing player either cries for Mommy or must have everyone take a knee. Any kid that might be more agressive than your child might be considered a dirty player.

"we played our subs" - our starters are so good, but since we are all about development our coach insists on giving all these 7 year olds playing time. Well, the subs suck and they are the reason we didn't get the result we wanted.

"iv'e been involved in soccer for years" - the first sign that your are probably misguided. A club team state championship or varsity soccer as well as coaching your little kids U4 rec team are the very reasons you need to keep your mouth shut. A parent that has never seen a soccer ball is better than having the "ive been involved in soccer for years" parent around. There are very, very, very few exceptions for this rule.

"that team plays kickball" - our defenders are so slow and their big, tall girl is so fast all they need to do is get it up to that girl and she scores. In real world soccer terms it is call playing the ball in behind the defenders.

"thug" - we thought we had the biggest, baddest 7 year old in DFW. Where in the world did you find someone meaner?

You wouldn't be directing this to any particular group of parents or a particular team now would you? LOL

I got one...

"The grass was too tall" - We lost the game.

Honestly, you could interpret this as pointing to one team or another, but that is not actually the case.

We have heard things like this from almost all groups...I just want to help the new parents that are making their way through Academy soccer.

My vote for post of the year.

Don't forget "dominate" - I read a thread where two self-proclaimed unbiased observers each had the other team "dominating" the match. Nothing like objectivity

Another more recent one...

"Ahead of the Pack" - Our team plays up, even though we have not beaten the top teams in our age group, we are still better!

Love it. One of my favorite post

"They play dirty" - Their big tall girl got past our big tall girl.

JeffM wrote:"They play dirty" - Their big tall girl got past our big tall girl.

I like this one!

"We played our subs" - Our coach threw the game because he put our subs in to get playing time.
"Our goalie sucks" - Please read our ad in the Green Sheet for a new goalie.
"The grass was tall" - Our team is short.
"I have no dog in this fight" - Yes they do.
"In Academy, keeping score isn't important" - Buzz driving is drunk driving.
"I think your DD is Great!" - She is a 2wat.
"We had to bring in guest players" - We couldn't win this game on our own.

"The grass was tall" - Our team is short."

"I think your DD is Great!" - She is a 2wat."



LMAO!!!! Now that's funny!

I've been playing soccer for years.I'm an over zealous parent who's child has limited skills.

yellowcard5 wrote:This is a guide to help the new parents of NTX Academy. Please feel free to add to the list at any time should you think something needs to be added.

"opponents goalkeeper was unbelievable" - your teams sucks. The only reason we didn't get the result we wanted was because your goalkeeper saved all those shots going to the top corner of the net. It has nothing to do with the fact that 90% of them were straight at him/her.

"broken arm" - same as every day life. However, if one of our players didn't have one, we would have got the result we wanted.

"we try to play the right way" - our team is not as athletic as the one we just played, which is the reason we didn't get the result we wanted.

"snarl" - i can't believe the opponents had some competitive girls on the other team, but we don't care becuase we play soccer the right way.

"tie" - the result of the game last weekend. However, the other teams goalkeeper was unbelievable, our midfielder had a broken arm and there was at least one girl that played with a snarl on her face.

big, tall girl - the opposing player that is faster, more aggressive and more athletic than the players on our team.

"we play with skill" - our girls are not very athletic so even though we didn't get the result we wanted, the skill on display was great.

"results don't matter in Academy soccer" - this only comes into play when we don't get the result we wanted.

I have a soccer compadre that has a boy that is the best player on his team. He is often referred to as "that big, tall boy" on the boy's forum. He is in fact the same size as most of the players on his squad. I've wondered if he just plays bigger (not sure what that means) or if the other parents see him as bigger since he is generally the most dangerous player on the pitch every weekend. I wonder if that is the same for some of these "big, tall girls." Hmmm.

our team plays up...the coach has handpicked the team and any kid can be replaced if a better kid is found

"That parent is living through their child" = That kid is way better than my kid and it pisses me off.

"Those kids are going to burn out" = I hope my kid catches up to their level one day.

"There are stll lots of good players in rec" = "My kid still plays rec"

"That team plays kickball" = We got beat by their fast forward

"Rankings are stupid" = My team isn't ranked

[quote="TCUDad"]"That parent is living through their child" = That kid is way better than my kid and it pisses me off.

"Those kids are going to burn out" = I hope my kid catches up to their level one day.

"There are stll lots of good players in rec" = "My kid still plays rec""That team plays kickball" = We got beat by their fast forward

]b]"Rankings are stupid"[/b] = My team isn't ranked[/quote]

On an 04 post those three points are hilarious

thug = the other team had a player that didnt back off our meanest player

Shelby427 wrote:You wouldn't be directing this to any particular group of parents or a particular team now would you? LOL

I got one...

"The grass was too tall" - We lost the game.

Shelby - DTS parent with an unhealthily obsessive hatred for Dalglish! Do you ever post about ANYTHING else? Sad!

Lobo_Momma wrote:

Shelby427 wrote:You wouldn't be directing this to any particular group of parents or a particular team now would you? LOL

I got one...

"The grass was too tall" - We lost the game.

Shelby - DTS parent with an unhealthily obsessive hatred for Dalglish! Do you ever post about ANYTHING else? Sad!

Stay on topic please. You two are not going to ruin a thread that is gaining momentum.

REMEMBER, this is about helping new parents, not about your past spats.

Lobo_Momma wrote:

Shelby427 wrote:You wouldn't be directing this to any particular group of parents or a particular team now would you? LOL

I got one...

"The grass was too tall" - We lost the game.

Shelby - DTS parent with an unhealthily obsessive hatred for Dalglish! Do you ever post about ANYTHING else? Sad!

Don't be so sensitive. The 98s and the 01s have used it, too, long before DTS and Dalglish were around.

We were competitive......somehow we didn't get the snot kicked out of us by a better team

I saw some of these on another thread.

Winning shouldn't matter. It should be about development.
Translation: My kids team doesn't win much.

My kids coach is all about development, he doesn't care about winning.
Translation: You are gullible and naive. If your coach finds 3 stud forwards he will take them in a heartbeat and cut your child and win every game he can. He will still work on developing just like most all coaches.

Subs should play equal time as starters.
Translation: my kid is a sub.

That kid will burn out.
Translation: If I pushed my kid that hard she would burn out quickly because she has no Passion.

Soccer parents are the worst.
Translation: My kids don't play any other competetive sports like basketball, football, baseball.

That team wins by playing kickball.
Translation: I can't believe they kicked our ass again.

Some kids that are super stars now won't be when their 15.
Translation: I hope like Hell my kid can turn things around by the time their 15.

That is an overinvolved parent.
Translation: That parent is way more involved and commited than I am. Soccer is disrupting my drinking time.

LOL this is great..... This is just sooooo true.....

"I don't ever read the boards" - Like hell you don't...Why are you in the top 10 then?
"My DD loves her coach" - She fears him.
"I've been doing this for 15yrs" - Been eating as well from the looks of it.
"If my DD wants to do something else, I support her" - You haven't talked to your wife have you.
"I find you misfits annoying" - Your wife doesn't let you touch her.

"Call it both ways" = "Call it our way."
"I saw that U12 boy drive to the game and he looks like he shaved this morning"="I did not see him drive to the game and he is much taller than my kid"
"You can't end the half with a corner kick about to be taken"="We were about to take a corner kick when time ran out".
"She got all ball"="The ambulance will be here soon, it will probably grow back"
"She could not have been offside, I have trained them to never be offside"="Another offside. We should probably learn what that is and practice not being it"
Rm (That is a handball, by the way)