ok...whats the difference between a soccer mom and soccer dad besides the biological make up?

Soccer dads are something serious right? Are we dads the root of the crazy parent problem? Do we create expectations that are hard to meet? Bet this topic dont get many hits...or maybe it does once it transitions to the usual discussion.

It will still find its way to RASE and those dads

There are two distinct types of Parents - male, female, no difference.

1. Those who give support, resources and time with the best intentions of supplying their daughter with the tools and knowledge she needs to be successful.
2. Those who give support, resources and time with the intentions (whether they know it or not) of fulfilling their own inadequacies through their daughter.

If it weren't for me, my family would be much less soccer-oriented (or crazed). I'm the one who makes most practices, most games, sets the home soccer drill schedules, etc.. The big decisions, what team DD plays for, soccer budget, ODP participation, camps, etc.., are family agreed upon and decided. Wife usually has same soccer view as I do, but I'm the one on these crazy forums and the one gently pushing my DD to get better (she'd watch TV all day if I'd let her).

Just looking at the makeup on these boards, I would guess that the majority, with a few exceptions, are like me (or worse, sometimes much worse).

Edited to include: Without crazy soccer dads, I'd guess there wouldn't be a txsoccer.net   

kixR4Adults2 wrote:Soccer dads are something serious right? Are we dads the root of the crazy parent problem? Do we create expectations that are hard to meet? Bet this topic dont get many hits...or maybe it does once it transitions to the usual discussion.

I walked by a really young 07 or 08 team playing this weekend where 6 dads were all yelling instructions at the kids. One dad basically dressed down his kid in front of everyone when she let in a goal. Don't know if the kids were listening, but how can it not negatively impact they're performance?

Beginning to think parents can sit in their cars and yell as loud as they want.

Lakedad wrote:

kixR4Adults2 wrote:Soccer dads are something serious right? Are we dads the root of the crazy parent problem? Do we create expectations that are hard to meet? Bet this topic dont get many hits...or maybe it does once it transitions to the usual discussion.

I walked by a really young 07 or 08 team playing this weekend where 6 dads were all yelling instructions at the kids.  One dad basically dressed down his kid in front of everyone when she let in a goal.  Don't know if the kids were listening, but how can it not negatively impact they're performance?

Beginning to think parents can sit in their cars and yell as loud as they want.  

I've gotten a lot better over the last couple years. It's easy to get caught up in it when your kids first get into it. I've since learned to contain my angst, or if not, remove myself from the situation. It IS her sport, not mine.

soccerdad1969 wrote:

Lakedad wrote:

kixR4Adults2 wrote:Soccer dads are something serious right? Are we dads the root of the crazy parent problem? Do we create expectations that are hard to meet? Bet this topic dont get many hits...or maybe it does once it transitions to the usual discussion.

I walked by a really young 07 or 08 team playing this weekend where 6 dads were all yelling instructions at the kids.  One dad basically dressed down his kid in front of everyone when she let in a goal.  Don't know if the kids were listening, but how can it not negatively impact they're performance?

Beginning to think parents can sit in their cars and yell as loud as they want.  

I've gotten a lot better over the last couple years. It's easy to get caught up in it when your kids first get into it. I've since learned to contain my angst, or if not, remove myself from the situation. It IS her sport, not mine.

Agree and point the same finger back at myself. Easy to get caught up in the competitive emotion of the game. Wish I could tell these guys the road is long.

im the soccer dad that finds himself drifting from enthused to "when will the season end!!??" the season never ends....nobody told me this. I have my ups and downs along with my daughters development. Im at most if not all practices, 5v5, futsal, indoor and outdoor games, trainings, and father daughter workouts which consists of whining and disagreements and lukewarm efforts given that make me jealous of her coach and the effort he is given. Had no clue about soccer until she fell in love with it and find myself at times thinking im a guru...but in the end i always know its about her and what she wants. My wife on the other hand, she is the firm voice that takes no slack from her when she is in attendance and shuts down any of that daddys little girl treatment my dd strongarms when its just us. My wife is the voice of reason that tells me sit my arse down at games and spoon feeds me a crushed up chill pill. I carry the lawn chairs and the refreshments and she carries us to restaurants after games and I carry the ticket. She aslo makes the final decision on who comes over or whether or not the DD can go over...Thats my spill. whats yours?

That's me in a nutshell.. Especially the part about the enthusiasm given me versus given her coach.

Lakedad wrote:

I walked by a really young 07 or 08 team playing this weekend where 6 dads were all yelling instructions at the kids.  One dad basically dressed down his kid in front of everyone when she let in a goal.  Don't know if the kids were listening, but how can it not negatively impact they're performance?

Beginning to think parents can sit in their cars and yell as loud as they want.  

On that note, to the REALLY REALLY LOUD 07 dad from that little blue team...you might want to pick up a little booklet known as the LOTG. If you're going to be the guy heard throughout the entire complex, at least know what you are yelling about   

kixR4Adults2 wrote:im the soccer dad that finds himself drifting from enthused to "when will the season end!!??" the season never ends....nobody told me this. I have my ups and downs along with my daughters development. Im at most if not all practices, 5v5, futsal, indoor and outdoor games, trainings, and father daughter workouts which consists of whining and disagreements and lukewarm efforts given that make me jealous of her coach and the effort he is given. Had no clue about soccer until she fell in love with it and find myself at times thinking im a guru...but in the end i always know its about her and what she wants. My wife on the other hand, she is the firm voice that takes no slack from her when she is in attendance and shuts down any of that daddys little girl treatment my dd strongarms when its just us. My wife is the voice of reason that tells me sit my arse down at games and spoon feeds me a crushed up chill pill. I carry the lawn chairs and the refreshments and she carries us to restaurants after games and I carry the ticket. She aslo makes the final decision on who comes over or whether or not the DD can go over...Thats my spill. whats yours?  

WOW I don’t remember writing that! I must have it fits me to a "T" LOL. Well said kix!

Years ago, when my daughter was really young, I took her to a U-18 local game. One of the teams was ranked #1 (or close to it) in the nation, and I wanted to see what that kind of play looked like. What I came away with wasn't the play on the field, but the parents in the stands. They were generally quiet, even when fouls were called. Nobody made a fuss about anything, even the team that was getting pounded at 5-0. The parents intermingled, talked together, and generally didn't get worked up over anything on the field.

Then I went back to our U-9 (I think, really can't remember) game the next day. I was embarrassed by our sideline behavior and the fact that I was a part of it. It changed how I behaved from that day forward.

My DD's coach had a conflict on the 1st day of a tournament this past fall, and asked me to coach as I played (poorly) in high school & college and I guess he thought I knew enough not to totally throw the whole thing off the tracks in his 1 day absence. I was stunned sitting on the other side of the field at how loud the parents are, and what a distraction they are for the DD's. It is amazing they can focus at all with all the apparent self-appointed sideline coaches screaming at them what they need to do. It made me shut-up since then with the exception of the occasional "lets go team" or "great job girls".

There's a story of a parent who was yelling at his daughter because he felt she was not showing the effort she was capable of.  The coach subbed her out and she didn't play the rest of the game.  Afterwards, the dad saw the coach walking over next to the kid and he thought to himself, "well...this coach is going to thank me for pointing out the kids lack of effort and the kid is going to thank me for pushing her."  

Coach walked up and told the dad, "I had to pull your daughter because she seemed confused about who's directions to follow - yours or mine.  I hope we don't have to do that again."

Lesson learned coach...lesson learned.

I assume when my DD is in at defense she can take it all the way up field and shoot...I assume when up top she can automatically
nail the shot left footed upper 90, slam the volley, bicycle kick, scissors for 10 yards to allude the defender, score the game winner against RASE...then I wake up and be like..."i need a break from soccer!!" Me and the DD get in trouble by Mrs.Kix for playing 1v1 down the isles of Walmart or Target with the first stray ball we find..."now you know you too old for that" she says...then I tell my daughter better touch cause she let it get away and almost hit the young lady restocking the ninja turtle display...lifes a pitch...I tell ya!!

kixR4Adults2 wrote:im the soccer dad that finds himself drifting from enthused to "when will the season end!!??" the season never ends....nobody told me this. I have my ups and downs along with my daughters development. Im at most if not all practices, 5v5, futsal, indoor and outdoor games, trainings, and father daughter workouts which consists of whining and disagreements and lukewarm efforts given that make me jealous of her coach and the effort he is given. Had no clue about soccer until she fell in love with it and find myself at times thinking im a guru...but in the end i always know its about her and what she wants. My wife on the other hand, she is the firm voice that takes no slack from her when she is in attendance and shuts down any of that daddys little girl treatment my dd strongarms when its just us. My wife is the voice of reason that tells me sit my arse down at games and spoon feeds me a crushed up chill pill. I carry the lawn chairs and the refreshments and she carries us to restaurants after games and I carry the ticket. She aslo makes the final decision on who comes over or whether or not the DD can go over...Thats my spill. whats yours?

Nice introspective Kix, now Freud wants his chair back. All kidding aside you hit the nail on the head with that one. When Mrs. Sheets tells me I am embarassing her, that's my que to sit down and shut up

Makes for a long ride home...

Brother, I have experienced my fair share of those.

My 05 Daughter is so Awesome at Soccer that I naturally get all the Credit! That is the only reason I let her play!

SOUTHOFTHETRACKS wrote:My 05 Daughter is so Awesome at Soccer that I naturally get all the Credit! That is the only reason I let her play!

Thats funny!

I've learned to try and use my phone as a distraction during my DD's games.  I too imagined my child making moves like a pro and juking that gifted defender or running down that speedy forward and just "taking" the ball away.  Then turning up field and knifing through the opposing teams defense all while smiling and waving at me on the sidelines, then suddenly I awaken to the fact that she's 10 and still learning the game and as cool as those dreams are, it's just not reality.  But I tell ya, that magical outfit she puts on to play soccer, in my mind, makes her a professional and by golly, she better act like one when she's on that pitch.  Wife averts my stupidity and puts me in the world of reality by reminding me, she's friggin 10, quit embarrasing your daughter.  I've been under my wife's therapy now for two years and it seems to be working...

MoveYourFeet wrote:Years ago, when my daughter was really young, I took her to a U-18 local game. One of the teams was ranked #1 (or close to it) in the nation, and I wanted to see what that kind of play looked like. What I came away with wasn't the play on the field, but the parents in the stands. They were generally quiet, even when fouls were called. Nobody made a fuss about anything, even the team that was getting pounded at 5-0. The parents intermingled, talked together, and generally didn't get worked up over anything on the field.

Then I went back to our U-9 (I think, really can't remember) game the next day. I was embarrassed by our sideline behavior and the fact that I was a part of it. It changed how I behaved from that day forward.

Causal relationship?? Do you think the parents acted better because they learned OR as I theorize, it is because all the little girls who parents' are insane have quit. Only the kids with supportive parents remain. Food for thought next time you lose it on the sideline.

dreadpirateroberts wrote:

MoveYourFeet wrote:Years ago, when my daughter was really young, I took her to a U-18 local game. One of the teams was ranked #1 (or close to it) in the nation, and I wanted to see what that kind of play looked like. What I came away with wasn't the play on the field, but the parents in the stands. They were generally quiet, even when fouls were called. Nobody made a fuss about anything, even the team that was getting pounded at 5-0. The parents intermingled, talked together, and generally didn't get worked up over anything on the field.

Then I went back to our U-9 (I think, really can't remember) game the next day. I was embarrassed by our sideline behavior and the fact that I was a part of it. It changed how I behaved from that day forward.

Causal relationship??  Do you think the parents acted better because they learned OR as I theorize, it is because all the little girls who parents' are insane have quit.  Only the kids with supportive parents remain.  Food for thought next time you lose it on the sideline.

I think we have a winner   

dreadpirateroberts wrote:

MoveYourFeet wrote:Years ago, when my daughter was really young, I took her to a U-18 local game. One of the teams was ranked #1 (or close to it) in the nation, and I wanted to see what that kind of play looked like. What I came away with wasn't the play on the field, but the parents in the stands. They were generally quiet, even when fouls were called. Nobody made a fuss about anything, even the team that was getting pounded at 5-0. The parents intermingled, talked together, and generally didn't get worked up over anything on the field.

Then I went back to our U-9 (I think, really can't remember) game the next day. I was embarrassed by our sideline behavior and the fact that I was a part of it. It changed how I behaved from that day forward.

Causal relationship??  Do you think the parents acted better because they learned OR as I theorize, it is because all the little girls who parents' are insane have quit.  Only the kids with supportive parents remain.  Food for thought next time you lose it on the sideline.

So nobody currently on these boards will be here in the next few years?  

dreadpirateroberts wrote:

MoveYourFeet wrote:Years ago, when my daughter was really young, I took her to a U-18 local game. One of the teams was ranked #1 (or close to it) in the nation, and I wanted to see what that kind of play looked like. What I came away with wasn't the play on the field, but the parents in the stands. They were generally quiet, even when fouls were called. Nobody made a fuss about anything, even the team that was getting pounded at 5-0. The parents intermingled, talked together, and generally didn't get worked up over anything on the field.

Then I went back to our U-9 (I think, really can't remember) game the next day. I was embarrassed by our sideline behavior and the fact that I was a part of it. It changed how I behaved from that day forward.

Causal relationship??  Do you think the parents acted better because they learned OR as I theorize, it is because all the little girls who parents' are insane have quit.  Only the kids with supportive parents remain.  Food for thought next time you lose it on the sideline.

I'm sure some of those insane parents have had their players quit.  In my experience, though, the reality is that as the girls grow older, there is a mellowing when you realize that all this really isn't that important in the grand scheme of things.

There is also more social interaction between parents through high school soccer, as some of these opposing players now play together in high school.  U-18 specifically, and U-17 (or lower) in some cases also include the dynamic that the players, in many cases, are already committed so the matches REALLY mean nothing, other than you don't want anyone injured.  At the games, the parents co-mingle because some of them have now known each other for years.  

As I look back over the years at the "over the top" parents that passed through our team, all but one of them (I think) were still in soccer at U-18, some were still "over the top" and still visible, but most had had actually come down off the ledge.