ok...whats the difference between a soccer mom and soccer dad besides the biological make up?

dreadpirateroberts wrote:

MoveYourFeet wrote:Years ago, when my daughter was really young, I took her to a U-18 local game. One of the teams was ranked #1 (or close to it) in the nation, and I wanted to see what that kind of play looked like. What I came away with wasn't the play on the field, but the parents in the stands. They were generally quiet, even when fouls were called. Nobody made a fuss about anything, even the team that was getting pounded at 5-0. The parents intermingled, talked together, and generally didn't get worked up over anything on the field.

Then I went back to our U-9 (I think, really can't remember) game the next day. I was embarrassed by our sideline behavior and the fact that I was a part of it. It changed how I behaved from that day forward.

Causal relationship??  Do you think the parents acted better because they learned OR as I theorize, it is because all the little girls who parents' are insane have quit.  Only the kids with supportive parents remain.  Food for thought next time you lose it on the sideline.

I'm sure some of those insane parents have had their players quit.  In my experience, though, the reality is that as the girls grow older, there is a mellowing when you realize that all this really isn't that important in the grand scheme of things.

There is also more social interaction between parents through high school soccer, as some of these opposing players now play together in high school.  U-18 specifically, and U-17 (or lower) in some cases also include the dynamic that the players, in many cases, are already committed so the matches REALLY mean nothing, other than you don't want anyone injured.  At the games, the parents co-mingle because some of them have now known each other for years.  

As I look back over the years at the "over the top" parents that passed through our team, all but one of them (I think) were still in soccer at U-18, some were still "over the top" and still visible, but most had had actually come down off the ledge.

soccerdad1969 wrote:

dreadpirateroberts wrote:

MoveYourFeet wrote:Years ago, when my daughter was really young, I took her to a U-18 local game. One of the teams was ranked #1 (or close to it) in the nation, and I wanted to see what that kind of play looked like. What I came away with wasn't the play on the field, but the parents in the stands. They were generally quiet, even when fouls were called. Nobody made a fuss about anything, even the team that was getting pounded at 5-0. The parents intermingled, talked together, and generally didn't get worked up over anything on the field.

Then I went back to our U-9 (I think, really can't remember) game the next day. I was embarrassed by our sideline behavior and the fact that I was a part of it. It changed how I behaved from that day forward.

Causal relationship??  Do you think the parents acted better because they learned OR as I theorize, it is because all the little girls who parents' are insane have quit.  Only the kids with supportive parents remain.  Food for thought next time you lose it on the sideline.

So nobody currently on these boards will be here in the next few years?  

There is a trend where people get more involved in the board starting at u6 or so and dying out around u12 - although people do stay involved the discussions change. There are people who still post that have been here since the site started, and a few left over from the previous site before this one. Several long time posters hung up their posting cleats as soon as the DD moved out of soccer.

Kind of a long read, but an interesting article. You can easily see how a specific mindset can shape you and your child's outlook. This article is not about soccer, however, the principles translate.

http://www.brainpickings.org/index.php/2014/01/29/carol-dweck-mindset/

Primary takeaway...adopt a "growth mindset". It will make your child's soccer experience more fulfilling and enjoyable.