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Question for the seasoned parents
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Question for the seasoned parents
janed6775- TxSoccer Lurker
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Re: Question for the seasoned parents
You need to have a conversation with the coach and if he/she won't have that conversation and you feel strongly that your DD is giving up on a game she loves because she is miserable, then you need to ask for a full release. If the coach is a decent person and your DD is not part of the winning strategy and you are generally nice parents, she/he will give you a full release. Coaches generally just give releases to rec when the player has talent she/he either doesn't want to lose or is afraid you are going to the the competition. The other reason a coach releases to rec is if the parents are a pain in the arse, coach from the sidelines, is disruptive, talks trash about the team in front of the DD, or pick a bad parent behavior. In many cases, the DD suffers from actions of her parents, not necessarily her ability. You can always petition to the NTX board to pitch your case if the coach AND the club won't listen to your concerns. Good Luck! BTW.. If you get a release to rec, you can always join a team playing Primetime. That league is US Club based, not NTX based. If your DD is not excelling in D3, then Primetime is probably the place for her and the teams generally don't pay full club dues.
TxFutbal- TxSoccer Postmaster
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Re: Question for the seasoned parents
TxFutbal wrote:That's a tough one and I certainly feel for you. How many minutes is your DD getting? BTW, girls get better by playing with girls who are better, not the amount of minutes they get on the pitch. I would take 20 minutes with my DD playing with girls who know how to play the game vs 40 minutes with kids who just run, kick, watch, repeat. It's too early in the season for this post. We generally don't see these posts until November.
You need to have a conversation with the coach and if he/she won't have that conversation and you feel strongly that your DD is giving up on a game she loves because she is miserable, then you need to ask for a full release. If the coach is a decent person and your DD is not part of the winning strategy and you are generally nice parents, she/he will give you a full release. Coaches generally just give releases to rec when the player has talent she/he either doesn't want to lose or is afraid you are going to the the competition. The other reason a coach releases to rec is if the parents are a pain in the arse, coach from the sidelines, is disruptive, talks trash about the team in front of the DD, or pick a bad parent behavior. In many cases, the DD suffers from actions of her parents, not necessarily her ability. You can always petition to the NTX board to pitch your case if the coach AND the club won't listen to your concerns. Good Luck! BTW.. If you get a release to rec, you can always join a team playing Primetime. That league is US Club based, not NTX based. If your DD is not excelling in D3, then Primetime is probably the place for her and the teams generally don't pay full club dues.
KeeperCommander- TxSoccer Addict
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Re: Question for the seasoned parents
OP: You signed with the Solar Machine, it is buyer beware unfortunately. Good news is there seems to be quite a bit of disgruntledness with a few 07s these days, so you not alone and expect a lots of moving next year....but that is a long way away. For now, focus on individual development thru skills or small sided to help her, would be my suggestion. Make it fun again.
Axel Foley- TxSoccer Postmaster
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Re: Question for the seasoned parents
janed6775 wrote: We intentionally put our DD on what we were told would be a D3 team. She's not JDL quality, nor is she ready for D1, we get that. That's why we turned down those offers, we knew she'd barely get to play.
Uhh.. I am confused.. I must still be hung over from a UGE Cowboy win last night. My understanding is the girl is on a D3 team and that they turned down offers for better teams/JDL
TxFutbal- TxSoccer Postmaster
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Re: Question for the seasoned parents
Axel Foley- TxSoccer Postmaster
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Re: Question for the seasoned parents
TxFutbal- TxSoccer Postmaster
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Re: Question for the seasoned parents
TxFutbal wrote:That's a tough one and I certainly feel for you. How many minutes is your DD getting? BTW, girls get better by playing with girls who are better, not the amount of minutes they get on the pitch. I would take 20 minutes with my DD playing with girls who know how to play the game vs 40 minutes with kids who just run, kick, watch, repeat. It's too early in the season for this post. We generally don't see these posts until November.
You need to have a conversation with the coach and if he/she won't have that conversation and you feel strongly that your DD is giving up on a game she loves because she is miserable, then you need to ask for a full release. If the coach is a decent person and your DD is not part of the winning strategy and you are generally nice parents, she/he will give you a full release. Coaches generally just give releases to rec when the player has talent she/he either doesn't want to lose or is afraid you are going to the the competition. The other reason a coach releases to rec is if the parents are a pain in the arse, coach from the sidelines, is disruptive, talks trash about the team in front of the DD, or pick a bad parent behavior. In many cases, the DD suffers from actions of her parents, not necessarily her ability. You can always petition to the NTX board to pitch your case if the coach AND the club won't listen to your concerns. Good Luck! BTW.. If you get a release to rec, you can always join a team playing Primetime. That league is US Club based, not NTX based. If your DD is not excelling in D3, then Primetime is probably the place for her and the teams generally don't pay full club dues.
A coach does not have to sign a release to rec. Any player can get one anytime prior to April 1st. You are correct about playing in Primetime though and can also play in tournaments. Before going that route it's best to discuss your concerns with the coach to even see if there is another team within the club that might be a better fit that you can transfer to. IMO find the best coach you can and have her on a team where she will get meaningful minutes each game (doesn't have to be a starter or play the whole game).
" Release to Recreational Soccer: Must be initiated by the parent; check YES. This will make the player a “free agent” until they join a recreational team. This does not allow a player to join a competitive team. The player may practice with any competitive or recreational team they wish and may guest play with any team in tournaments allowing guest players, with North Texas signing as the releasing coach. If they wish to transfer to another competitive team and the coach has denied their request, this is the only type of release North Texas can allow, unless there is a decision by the Competitive Committee to override the coach’s denial of the transfer. Select this option if the player is quitting soccer. This release request must have Parent and Player signature. The Releasing Coach signature is not required. A copy of the release will be sent to the Releasing Coach so that they may remove the player from their roster. "
Keep in mind that a release form does not necessarily release you from the financial obligations to your team. Best advice have the conversation with the coach and let him give you options.
Release Form
Last edited by NTXSoccaDad on 11/09/17, 10:41 am; edited 1 time in total
NTXSoccaDad- TxSoccer Poster
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Re: Question for the seasoned parents
TxFutbal wrote:That's a tough one and I certainly feel for you. How many minutes is your DD getting? BTW, girls get better by playing with girls who are better, not the amount of minutes they get on the pitch. I would take 20 minutes with my DD playing with girls who know how to play the game vs 40 minutes with kids who just run, kick, watch, repeat. It's too early in the season for this post. We generally don't see these posts until November.
You need to have a conversation with the coach and if he/she won't have that conversation and you feel strongly that your DD is giving up on a game she loves because she is miserable, then you need to ask for a full release. If the coach is a decent person and your DD is not part of the winning strategy and you are generally nice parents, she/he will give you a full release. Coaches generally just give releases to rec when the player has talent she/he either doesn't want to lose or is afraid you are going to the the competition. The other reason a coach releases to rec is if the parents are a pain in the arse, coach from the sidelines, is disruptive, talks trash about the team in front of the DD, or pick a bad parent behavior. In many cases, the DD suffers from actions of her parents, not necessarily her ability. You can always petition to the NTX board to pitch your case if the coach AND the club won't listen to your concerns. Good Luck! BTW.. If you get a release to rec, you can always join a team playing Primetime. That league is US Club based, not NTX based. If your DD is not excelling in D3, then Primetime is probably the place for her and the teams generally don't pay full club dues.
It's not really about what you want.
Kids want to play. My guess is that the player here (and probably even TxFutbol's dd as well), given the following, would choose scenario B. (It sounds to me like this is a D3 team bringing in ringers and the OP recognizes his daughter is not at the D1 level.)
A - Girls show up who never practice with the team, start, and get the majority of minutes. Suzi gets 10-20 minutes play time with these talented girls (she should feel so blessed and excited at the opportunity to watch them play!). The guess players know if they pass the ball to Suzi, they won't likely get it back, so they largely pass to each other. The game largely becomes "pass it to guess" while everyone hopes she can score. Coach rotates rostered players while guess players play most or all of the game.
B - Suzi practices every week with the same girls. They may not be superstars, but they are part of a team and are all at about the same level. Suzi and her teammates show up on Saturday . . . and play together as a team (imaging the concept of girls practicing together, then playing together). They struggle because the team they play against has superstar guess players - but they learn what it is like to work together and play as a team - not just a group of individuals. And most importantly to Suzi, she plays 40-50 minutes. One day when she is really on, she plays the entire game - with girls she is bonding with (and not with strangers).
SickofStupidity- TxSoccer Author
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Re: Question for the seasoned parents
slrsoccer- TxSoccer Postmaster
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Re: Question for the seasoned parents
Guest implies someone who is invited and welcomed - maybe invited by the coach, but may not be so welcomed by ALL the team players or parents
SickofStupidity- TxSoccer Author
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Re: Question for the seasoned parents
KeeperCommander wrote:TxFutbal wrote:That's a tough one and I certainly feel for you. How many minutes is your DD getting? BTW, girls get better by playing with girls who are better, not the amount of minutes they get on the pitch. I would take 20 minutes with my DD playing with girls who know how to play the game vs 40 minutes with kids who just run, kick, watch, repeat. It's too early in the season for this post. We generally don't see these posts until November.
You need to have a conversation with the coach and if he/she won't have that conversation and you feel strongly that your DD is giving up on a game she loves because she is miserable, then you need to ask for a full release. If the coach is a decent person and your DD is not part of the winning strategy and you are generally nice parents, she/he will give you a full release. Coaches generally just give releases to rec when the player has talent she/he either doesn't want to lose or is afraid you are going to the the competition. The other reason a coach releases to rec is if the parents are a pain in the arse, coach from the sidelines, is disruptive, talks trash about the team in front of the DD, or pick a bad parent behavior. In many cases, the DD suffers from actions of her parents, not necessarily her ability. You can always petition to the NTX board to pitch your case if the coach AND the club won't listen to your concerns. Good Luck! BTW.. If you get a release to rec, you can always join a team playing Primetime. That league is US Club based, not NTX based. If your DD is not excelling in D3, then Primetime is probably the place for her and the teams generally don't pay full club dues.
Come on KC - you know 10 minutes playing time with JDL players is better than 50 minutes without
SickofStupidity- TxSoccer Author
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Re: Question for the seasoned parents
I am sorry this has happened to your DD.
She will love soccer again just need get her on the right team.
There are a lot of good Indy Teams you could look at that are playing in Primetime.
I hope you can recover some of the money you have spent.
Hang1053- TxSoccer Poster
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Re: Question for the seasoned parents
1. My DD's have always selected option B. My youngest has been blessed because my oldest trained me to be a proper soccer dad in that I am just the soccer taxi and I don't get a vote on where they play. My job is to just ask "where to maam". They pick the destination. Same goes for my DD that plays a sport other than soccer.
2. There is no such thing as a guest player in LHGCL. They are club player passes and they are limited to 5. After April 1st, there can only be 1. My guess is the coach is loading up now to get as many wins as possible so he/she can keep the bye.
TxFutbal- TxSoccer Postmaster
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Re: Question for the seasoned parents
TxFutbal wrote:a couple of things..
1. My DD's have always selected option B. My youngest has been blessed because my oldest trained me to be a proper soccer dad in that I am just the soccer taxi and I don't get a vote on where they play. My job is to just ask "where to maam". They pick the destination. Same goes for my DD that plays a sport other than soccer.
2. There is no such thing as a guest player in LHGCL. They are club player passes and they are limited to 5. After April 1st, there can only be 1. My guess is the coach is loading up now to get as many wins as possible so he/she can keep the bye.
Thanks - same philosophy here.
I only refer to guest players since to the D3 player, there is no practical difference between "Guest" and "CPP"
It is also possible that the "guests" are actually dual-rostered from the ECNL team (I see this quite often on D1 teams - or maybe D1 players rostered to and practicing with the ECNL team).
SickofStupidity- TxSoccer Author
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To Clarify ...
janed6775- TxSoccer Lurker
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Re: Question for the seasoned parents
Hang1053- TxSoccer Poster
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Re: Question for the seasoned parents
TxFutbal wrote:a couple of things..
1. My DD's have always selected option B. My youngest has been blessed because my oldest trained me to be a proper soccer dad in that I am just the soccer taxi and I don't get a vote on where they play. My job is to just ask "where to maam". They pick the destination. Same goes for my DD that plays a sport other than soccer.
2. There is no such thing as a guest player in LHGCL. They are club player passes and they are limited to 5. U19 only is 5, all other divisions are max of 3. Final 3 games of season are max of 1. After April 1st, there can only be 1. My guess is the coach is loading up now to get as many wins as possible so he/she can keep the bye.
KeeperCommander- TxSoccer Addict
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Re: Question for the seasoned parents
HomeStretch- TxSoccer Postmaster
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Re: Question for the seasoned parents
janed6775 wrote:The situation is that my DD was a starter on her team. She was absolutely loving it. The team would have qualified for LHGCL, possibly D1, more likely D3. Axel nailed it. SRSA girls were brought out and my DD lost her starting spot. She deflated faster than a popped balloon. She had declined offers on D1 teams (I too am the taxi driver) to play with this group of girls and coach. It was her decision, but one we were happy with. My opinion on her skill level is that if LHGCL had D2 for U11s, she'd be a solid D2 starter. She is getting 20+ minutes in D1 play, but she's used to playing full time at a D2 level. She doesn't know what she did wrong (nothing) or how she can get back to starting (she can't). As one poster stated, it's SRSA1 and SRSA2 playing and with current rules, it's legal for them to do so. They don't pass unless it's to each other and one is just hateful (demeaning) to the players on our team. Our goal is to find a way to make soccer fun for our daughter again without breaking NTSSA contracts. Her coach has not been helpful and is actively avoiding working through this. I hesitate to go to the club because from what I've read, it won't get us anywhere. We know we won't get a penny back and that's fine. If we aren't able to secure a release, is she allowed to play futsal for another team or to dual roster on a US Club team? Those posters who said we're screwed. Yep. We know. What we need now is guidance an options we may have to help turn this negative into a positive and hopefully avoid her giving up the sport she used to love.
Real classy hiding behind your anonymous screen name to call a 10 year old girl hateful.
CrashDavis- TxSoccer Poster
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Re: Question for the seasoned parents
janed6775 wrote:The situation is that my DD was a starter on her team. She was absolutely loving it. The team would have qualified for LHGCL, possibly D1, more likely D3. Axel nailed it. SRSA girls were brought out and my DD lost her starting spot. She deflated faster than a popped balloon. She had declined offers on D1 teams (I too am the taxi driver) to play with this group of girls and coach. It was her decision, but one we were happy with. My opinion on her skill level is that if LHGCL had D2 for U11s, she'd be a solid D2 starter. She is getting 20+ minutes in D1 play, but she's used to playing full time at a D2 level. She doesn't know what she did wrong (nothing) or how she can get back to starting (she can't). As one poster stated, it's SRSA1 and SRSA2 playing and with current rules, it's legal for them to do so. They don't pass unless it's to each other and one is just hateful (demeaning) to the players on our team. Our goal is to find a way to make soccer fun for our daughter again without breaking NTSSA contracts. Her coach has not been helpful and is actively avoiding working through this. I hesitate to go to the club because from what I've read, it won't get us anywhere. We know we won't get a penny back and that's fine. If we aren't able to secure a release, is she allowed to play futsal for another team or to dual roster on a US Club team? Those posters who said we're screwed. Yep. We know. What we need now is guidance an options we may have to help turn this negative into a positive and hopefully avoid her giving up the sport she used to love.
If you feel that you are getting nowhere with the coach, then ask for a meeting with the DOC. No matter how upset you are with the current coach, do your absolute best to keep emotions out of the discussion. If you get emotional and/or attack the current coach, you will most likely put the DOC on the defensive, and he/she will be less likely to work with you. Explain how the current situation is negatively impacting your DD and her desire to play the game. Calmly explain that if the club is unable to find a suitable resolution, then you will be asking for a release. If I am reading the previous posts correctly, and you are an '07 parent with Solar, then there are at least 5-6 other teams that are possible options. By LHGCL rules, I don't think you can outright transfer to another team and play LHGCL league games until after Jan. 1st, but if you stay within Solar, they could use CPP to have your DD play with another team in the fall, then transfer her to the new roster in January.
If you can't work out something within the club, then your next option is to ask for a release. As I stated above, even if the club were to grant you a full competitive release, I don't think your DD would be able to play league games for another LHGCL team until after Jan 1 (PPL or APL should be o.k. if it a full competitive release). If the club won't agree to a competitive release, you can request a hearing with NTSAA to try to get one, but your chances of success via a hearing are probably 50/50 at best. Also, at this point of the season, I'm not sure if NTSSA will grant a hearing before December.
The other option that people have stated is to just get a "release to rec", which you don't need approval from the club, only NTSSA. With a release to rec, you won't be able to play in any NTSSA competitive league games until next fall (LHGCL, PPL, APL), but you can practice with another NTSSA competitive team, and guest play with them in NTSSA tournaments. You can also play for a team in any US Club sponsored league/tournament (Primetime, etc...), and you can always play futsal or indoor with any other team.
Best of luck.
Last edited by bwgophers on 11/09/17, 01:10 pm; edited 2 times in total (Reason for editing : Grammar Police)
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Re: Question for the seasoned parents
HomeStretch wrote:If your kid loves the game, dont even consider moving in middle of season at u11. That's sending her the wrong message that wont serve her well if she sticks with the sport. Encourage her to use this as motivation to get better. SRSA girls are not magic. They put one foot in front of the other same as your kid. Talk to the coach only about what she needs to improve and have her give 110% to working on those things. If your kid, not u, feels coach is not fair after a few years, go find a coach who values your kid. Kids need a chance to work through challenges before parents bail them out.
Yep. Encourage her to work through the misery. She should use it as a learning experience - it's a valuable 9 month lesson for a 10-year-old. While she may come to hate sitting on the bench in games, and dread the next 70 practices, so what? She needs to learn to work through challenges such as these. And by the way - she will deal with hateful people throughout her life - might as well Dribble her to experience it as early as possible in life.
"Suck it up, buttercup", comes to mind.
So does, "life is a b!tch"
Enjoy the tears and the angst - but know she is learning a good lesson, and after 9 months, will undoubtedly want to try it again next year.
Also, tap that checkbook - 'cause you will be paying to travel to tournaments to watch her ride the pine. The SRSA parents do appreciate your contribution as they "guest" on your team.
SickofStupidity- TxSoccer Author
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Re: Question for the seasoned parents
Treinador3- TxSoccer Poster
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Re: Question for the seasoned parents
CrashDavis wrote:janed6775 wrote:The situation is that my DD was a starter on her team. She was absolutely loving it. The team would have qualified for LHGCL, possibly D1, more likely D3. Axel nailed it. SRSA girls were brought out and my DD lost her starting spot. She deflated faster than a popped balloon. She had declined offers on D1 teams (I too am the taxi driver) to play with this group of girls and coach. It was her decision, but one we were happy with. My opinion on her skill level is that if LHGCL had D2 for U11s, she'd be a solid D2 starter. She is getting 20+ minutes in D1 play, but she's used to playing full time at a D2 level. She doesn't know what she did wrong (nothing) or how she can get back to starting (she can't). As one poster stated, it's SRSA1 and SRSA2 playing and with current rules, it's legal for them to do so. They don't pass unless it's to each other and one is just hateful (demeaning) to the players on our team. Our goal is to find a way to make soccer fun for our daughter again without breaking NTSSA contracts. Her coach has not been helpful and is actively avoiding working through this. I hesitate to go to the club because from what I've read, it won't get us anywhere. We know we won't get a penny back and that's fine. If we aren't able to secure a release, is she allowed to play futsal for another team or to dual roster on a US Club team? Those posters who said we're screwed. Yep. We know. What we need now is guidance an options we may have to help turn this negative into a positive and hopefully avoid her giving up the sport she used to love.
Real classy hiding behind your anonymous screen name to call a 10 year old girl hateful.
You are living in a world of unicorns and rainbows if you think that 10 year old girls can not be hateful.
SickofStupidity- TxSoccer Author
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Re: Question for the seasoned parents
SickofSilliness wrote:CrashDavis wrote:janed6775 wrote:The situation is that my DD was a starter on her team. She was absolutely loving it. The team would have qualified for LHGCL, possibly D1, more likely D3. Axel nailed it. SRSA girls were brought out and my DD lost her starting spot. She deflated faster than a popped balloon. She had declined offers on D1 teams (I too am the taxi driver) to play with this group of girls and coach. It was her decision, but one we were happy with. My opinion on her skill level is that if LHGCL had D2 for U11s, she'd be a solid D2 starter. She is getting 20+ minutes in D1 play, but she's used to playing full time at a D2 level. She doesn't know what she did wrong (nothing) or how she can get back to starting (she can't). As one poster stated, it's SRSA1 and SRSA2 playing and with current rules, it's legal for them to do so. They don't pass unless it's to each other and one is just hateful (demeaning) to the players on our team. Our goal is to find a way to make soccer fun for our daughter again without breaking NTSSA contracts. Her coach has not been helpful and is actively avoiding working through this. I hesitate to go to the club because from what I've read, it won't get us anywhere. We know we won't get a penny back and that's fine. If we aren't able to secure a release, is she allowed to play futsal for another team or to dual roster on a US Club team? Those posters who said we're screwed. Yep. We know. What we need now is guidance an options we may have to help turn this negative into a positive and hopefully avoid her giving up the sport she used to love.
Real classy hiding behind your anonymous screen name to call a 10 year old girl hateful.
You are living in a world of unicorns and rainbows if you think that 10 year old girls can not be hateful.
Did my post say that?
CrashDavis- TxSoccer Poster
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