Closed Texan Practices

obviously you have not been to Ross Stewart. depending on the field, you can sit in a car, or on the deck behind the clubhouse and watch from a distance.


and if they asked you not to do that? still feel great about little suzy in their hands? clubs/orgs that treat parents as enemies are not worthy of your time and should be avoided. parents around keep people accountable and keep the adult/child relationship in perspective. you know what is going on, not he said/she said, evasive answers about your kid etc.

BastaYa! wrote:"The Dallas Texans soccer club greatly values its relationships with parent who provide critical financial and volunteer support who are our valuable partner in helping to motivate players positively and who help us provide the important element of character development along with soccer skills development.

While the support and excitement of the parents is appreciated, we will only on occasion ask that the parents be present for training because we try to reduce the pressure and expectancy that young players can feel when they play with the Dallas Texans so they can relax and enjoy playing in an uninhibited way.

Player in our program, as with any advanced training program need to get used to performing at the highest level even without the support of their parents/relatives and friends. This need is especially important when dealing with tournaments and traveling. Parents cannot always be present for some games, especially those that are far away. It would be detrimental for the player's performance to be altered by feelings of anxiety and separation. Travelling together and training as a closed unit can build great chemistry between players.

Pressure and expectation on our player can also be greatly reduced when they have fewer people they feel they have to please. We must remember that beyond their own self-gratification, most player strive to please and impress their parents at all turns. Liberation from these pressures can often lead to a turning point in their development, both as a soccer player and person. These situations can also be beneficial to the coaches, as a lack of outside factors help to focus the players' attention and everyone gets the most out of their time put into training sessions. The focus can return great benefits to the player. Any training session where the attendance of the parents is requested will be announced beforehand.

Every effort will be made by the Dallas Texans coaching staff to maintain a safe and beneficial environment for the players at all times."

LOL! Like that will help.

anselansel wrote:parents around keep people accountable and keep the adult/child relationship in perspective. you know what is going on, not he said/she said, evasive answers about your kid etc.

Definitely a good thing your kid didn't do gymnastics. I mean with the skimpy outfits and male instructors and you know... touching... to help them complete a spin over the bars or finish a vault.

Relax. It's soccer. Let the coaches do their job. Or as my '05's fantastic coach told me... "I'm going to break her of all the bad habits you taught her."

Definitely a good thing your kid didn't do gymnastics. I mean with the skimpy outfits and male instructors and you know... touching... to help them complete a spin over the bars or finish a vault.


guess you would be ok with that coach spending some alone practice time at their house too, the rest of us will follow common sense and keep an eye out for people who act out of the ordinary....

Oh, I'm sorry. Are all Texans practices individual, one on one practices now? I must have missed that in the paperwork.

he was such a good coach, we all liked him, we can't believe this could happen, they said they had policies in place, blah blah. don't cede your parental authority to anyone or any org. good orgs welcome parents bad ones don't very simple.

BastaYa! wrote:"The Dallas Texans soccer club greatly values its relationships with parent who provide critical financial and volunteer support who are our valuable partner in helping to motivate players positively and who help us provide the important element of character development along with soccer skills development.

While the support and excitement of the parents is appreciated, we will only on occasion ask that the parents be present for training because we try to reduce the pressure and expectancy that young players can feel when they play with the Dallas Texans so they can relax and enjoy playing in an uninhibited way.

Player in our program, as with any advanced training program need to get used to performing at the highest level even without the support of their parents/relatives and friends. This need is especially important when dealing with tournaments and traveling. Parents cannot always be present for some games, especially those that are far away. It would be detrimental for the player's performance to be altered by feelings of anxiety and separation. Travelling together and training as a closed unit can build great chemistry between players.

Pressure and expectation on our player can also be greatly reduced when they have fewer people they feel they have to please. We must remember that beyond their own self-gratification, most player strive to please and impress their parents at all turns. Liberation from these pressures can often lead to a turning point in their development, both as a soccer player and person. These situations can also be beneficial to the coaches, as a lack of outside factors help to focus the players' attention and everyone gets the most out of their time put into training sessions. The focus can return great benefits to the player. Any training session where the attendance of the parents is requested will be announced beforehand.

Every effort will be made by the Dallas Texans coaching staff to maintain a safe and beneficial environment for the players at all times."

Tranlation:
We want to be able to scream and yell at your kids without you hearing it. We don't want you around. We know everything, you know nothing. Just write us a check and be on your way.

Are the Texans going to guarantee in writing that they have no child molesters on their staff? Are they going to guarantee in writing that your child will not get dehydrated?
It's a little too arrogant for me. I personally wouldn't accept it.
Soccer is a family thing for us. If I wanted that kind of atmosphere, I would just send her to the IMG Soccer Academy in Florida or better yet, just send her to boarding school out of state.
Yes, there are some great coaches out there but there are many others that can be abusive and ruin your daughters confidence. A parents ultimate job is to protect their children, not develop great soccer players. Priorities have to be in order.

well put

I don't like it. But there are some parents who need to stay away for the benefit of their kids. You know...the guy pulling his kid aside at every water break...taking notes...wearing shin guards. I feel sorry for those kids and this will help them.

The skeptic in me says it is a good way to narrow down the teams that want to practice at RS.

toro wrote:I don't like it. But there are some parents who need to stay away for the benefit of their kids. You know...the guy pulling his kid aside at every water break...taking notes...wearing shin guards. I feel sorry for those kids and this will help them.

The skeptic in me says it is a good way to narrow down the teams that want to practice at RS.

Just the Texans showing who is in control.

The child molester angle is a curious one. Not trying to cast stones here, but I'd imagine that club's whos travel arrangements are parent exclusive (players stay with players with very little to zero parent oversight) would be exponentially more concerning in this regard than a closed practice on a WIDE OPEN facility with no buildings for something untoward to take place.

Not a terrible idea really. A lot of parent do need to back off...I know that but still don't always do it myself. If I am away from her, I have no choice but to let the coach do his job.

As long as your dd is old enough (I say 10 is youngest) and she is confident and informed enough to understand appropriate/inappropriate attention and or contact by an adult.

My dd is 9 and I don't leave her at practice without myself or my husband but if I were asked to sit in my car or somewhere away from them where she and I can't interact during practice...I'd be ok with that.

Call me crazy, (I've already been called a bad parent lol) but I would bet my right arm that most select coaches would love to have this stipulation in the contract and not for the perversions implied above.

txtransplant wrote:Call me crazy, (I've already been called a bad parent lol) but I would bet my right arm that most select coaches would love to have this stipulation in the contract and not for the perversions implied above.

I am sure they would but even though we say select soccer is about our dd, it is about our enjoyment also and watching the practice is enjoyable and doesn't need to be discouraged. The coach should speak to any parent that gets out of line.

toro wrote:
The skeptic in me says it is a good way to narrow down the teams that want to practice at RS.

This is funny because the Texans rarely allow their (girls) teams to practice at Ross Stewart anyway and routinely get shuttled all over the metroplex looking for an empty field to practice at.

twomattiesmom wrote:Not a terrible idea really. A lot of parent do need to back off...I know that but still don't always do it myself. If I am away from her, I have no choice but to let the coach do his job.

As long as your dd is old enough (I say 10 is youngest) and she is confident and informed enough to understand appropriate/inappropriate attention and or contact by an adult.

My dd is 9 and I don't leave her at practice without myself or my husband but if I were asked to sit in my car or somewhere away from them where she and I can't interact during practice...I'd be ok with that.

Now just get outta here with you mature, reasonable thoughts. This is a thread for paranoia, overreaction, and bashing "The Man".

txtransplant this goes for you as well.

My DD's former coach was arrested last year and remains in jail on child porn and drug charges. He was a control freak, but I would not have suspected him of either of these activities. I have 25+ years of experience in the mental health and corrections fields and never saw it coming. He never touched, approached, or acted inappropriately with our DD, but after this expereicnce I would not allow anything like what the Texans are proposing with my DD. Especially at this age and stage the family aspect of soccer is one of the things that make it attractive, at least to us.

My DD's former coach was arrested last year and remains in jail on child porn and drug charges. He was a control freak, but I would not have suspected him of either of these activities. I have 25+ years of experience in the mental health and corrections fields and never saw it coming. He never touched, approached, or acted inappropriately with our DD, but after this expereicnce I would not allow anything like what the Texans are proposing with my DD. Especially at this age and stage the family aspect of soccer is one of the things that make it attractive, at least to us.


you are obviously just a paranoid, control freak, helicopter parent who is trying to meddle and interfere with his child's soccer development and smear the texans and their well thought out policies..........lol

anselansel wrote:My DD's former coach was arrested last year and remains in jail on child porn and drug charges. He was a control freak, but I would not have suspected him of either of these activities. I have 25+ years of experience in the mental health and corrections fields and never saw it coming. He never touched, approached, or acted inappropriately with our DD, but after this expereicnce I would not allow anything like what the Texans are proposing with my DD. Especially at this age and stage the family aspect of soccer is one of the things that make it attractive, at least to us.


you are obviously just a paranoid, control freak, helicopter parent who is trying to meddle and interfere with his child's soccer development and smear the texans and their well thought out policies..........lol

How do you know they drop their daughter off in a helicopter?

I'd give this policy a year. Next year it won't sneak up on anyone. Plenty of parents will take their kids elsewhere. Every other club will make a point of using it against the Texans to recruit "Oh we love parents your welcome any time" then aside..."I heard they had problems with one of their coaches, inapropriate behavior I think."

it does seem like a policy that is a bit over the top! and could be very dificult to enforce unless all texans teams practice at Ross Stewart it will be very interesting to see if this approach will work. I am also glad i do not have to tell my parents they are not welcome at practice.

it is amazing the twists and turns this topic has taken; my original reason was to see how you felt and it has turned into sex offender talk. First off when has any coach for any of the larger clubs (SolarFeetTexansStingFC) been arrested for doing anything sexual to a child? None that I know of and it is because they tend to be more selective than some of the other clubs out there.

Back on point now; the major issue is if you as a parent are funding this club with your dues then you should be able to watch how they train if you wish to. Those that coach from the sidelines should be dealt with accordingly. It is true unless your kids practice off the deck or by the parking lot you really cant watch it anyway at Ross Stewart and that is IF they practice there..sometimes they do NOT. If I want to go eat, get groceries, get a haircut, wash the car or take a nap it is my right...but it should also be the parent's right to watch their child practice. IF I was a Texan parent i would ask for an explanation, I suspect that this has to do with the boys academy teams; in the spring they did close Ross Stewart (to parents and all other civilians) when Boys Academy officials were visiting.

bronxdad wrote:it is amazing the twists and turns this topic has taken; my original reason was to see how you felt and it has turned into sex offender talk. First off when has any coach for any of the larger clubs (SolarFeetTexansStingFC) been arrested for doing anything sexual to a child? None that I know of and it is because they tend to be more selective than some of the other clubs out there.

Back on point now; the major issue is if you as a parent are funding this club with your dues then you should be able to watch how they train if you wish to. Those that coach from the sidelines should be dealt with accordingly. It is true unless your kids practice off the deck or by the parking lot you really cant watch it anyway at Ross Stewart and that is IF they practice there..sometimes they do NOT. If I want to go eat, get groceries, get a haircut, wash the car or take a nap it is my right...but it should also be the parent's right to watch their child practice. IF I was a Texan parent i would ask for an explanation, I suspect that this has to do with the boys academy teams; in the spring they did close Ross Stewart (to parents and all other civilians) when Boys Academy officials were visiting.

I argee with you Bronxdad. When the sport needs as much support as it can get. Why would you put this policy in place. It seemed just fine the way it was. I never seen one parent cause a distraction at Ross Stewart. Everyone seem to have a reasonable approach to watching the kids practice. I would be all for one closed practice and one open practice a week. Just so everyone can have a slice of the pie! To be honest I enjoy practices more than games.

Ok, I am going to confess. I have missed only six games since my DD started playing soccer at the age of 4. I have probably missed at the most 12 practices. Over dedicated you say? You are probably right. However, I try to keep my backseat coaching to myself. Yes, I do forget occasionally and yell out a "Way to go!" Or take an odd moment to quickly say pick up your feet as she jogs past me. However, I know that coaching is what I pay my coach for.



I am really there because I love to watch her play - games or practice. I love to see the intensity in her face as she squares off. I love it when she does the airplane after scoring. I also love it when I see her reach down to a team mate and help them up or consoles them when they are hurt. How long will I have these moments to enjoy? For me, it isn't as much about being a parent as it is about taking in every moment of seeing her develop as a young girl.



I want her to listen to the coach. I want the coach to see her as I do - sometimes goofy, sometimes funny, sometimes magic on the field. I don't usually sit right next to the practice field. However, I do sit close enough so I can watch what she does while I talk to the other parents. I do the same thing when I take her for private coaching. The coach is paid to train her. I am paid to love her. (And yes, I do sneak in the occassional tips.)



At games I yell for her (just ask anyone who has lost their hearing sitting next to me) but it is to encourage her and not to coach her. I think a Run baby, run is entirely all right! Afterwards, I talk about the really good things she did and if there was something she could have done better, I mention it in passing. (And before you hit me with it, no I am not a saint - for I do have those few moments when she gets the "what were you thinking" sentences.



That is why I like to see her practice as well as play. I don't want to miss the joy, or the ups and downs. None of this will happen again - maybe something similar, but not what happened today. I feel the same way at home and about her brother and sister. Before I know it, she will be 13 and know EVERYTHING!



How many moments will we have with our children? Would I allow any team, group, etc., deny my time with her and reveling in watching her grow up before my eyes, not on your life. I am fine with watching from my car, or from a distance. I may not see every move she makes, but I want to share this experience with her for as long as I have. I know this is business for the clubs and the coaches. But my DD is a big part of my life - one that will slowly change when she gets too old to have me sticking around.



I can only end this missive with an equally mushy ending - Go hug your DD and thank your lucky stars that she was entrusted to you. And next year, if you don't like the contract (assuming you read the fine print), go to another club.

InaB wrote:Ok, I am going to confess. I have missed only six games since my DD started playing soccer at the age of 4. I have probably missed at the most 12 practices. Over dedicated you say? You are probably right. However, I try to keep my backseat coaching to myself. Yes, I do forget occasionally and yell out a "Way to go!" Or take an odd moment to quickly say pick up your feet as she jogs past me. However, I know that coaching is what I pay my coach for.



I am really there because I love to watch her play - games or practice. I love to see the intensity in her face as she squares off. I love it when she does the airplane after scoring. I also love it when I see her reach down to a team mate and help them up or consoles them when they are hurt. How long will I have these moments to enjoy? For me, it isn't as much about being a parent as it is about taking in every moment of seeing her develop as a young girl.



I want her to listen to the coach. I want the coach to see her as I do - sometimes goofy, sometimes funny, sometimes magic on the field. I don't usually sit right next to the practice field. However, I do sit close enough so I can watch what she does while I talk to the other parents. I do the same thing when I take her for private coaching. The coach is paid to train her. I am paid to love her. (And yes, I do sneak in the occassional tips.)



At games I yell for her (just ask anyone who has lost their hearing sitting next to me) but it is to encourage her and not to coach her. I think a Run baby, run is entirely all right! Afterwards, I talk about the really good things she did and if there was something she could have done better, I mention it in passing. (And before you hit me with it, no I am not a saint - for I do have those few moments when she gets the "what were you thinking" sentences.



That is why I like to see her practice as well as play. I don't want to miss the joy, or the ups and downs. None of this will happen again - maybe something similar, but not what happened today. I feel the same way at home and about her brother and sister. Before I know it, she will be 13 and know EVERYTHING!



How many moments will we have with our children? Would I allow any team, group, etc., deny my time with her and reveling in watching her grow up before my eyes, not on your life. I am fine with watching from my car, or from a distance. I may not see every move she makes, but I want to share this experience with her for as long as I have. I know this is business for the clubs and the coaches. But my DD is a big part of my life - one that will slowly change when she gets too old to have me sticking around.



I can only end this missive with an equally mushy ending - Go hug your DD and thank your lucky stars that she was entrusted to you. And next year, if you don't like the contract (assuming you read the fine print), go to another club.

Beautiful!

InaB wrote:Ok, I am going to confess. I have missed only six games since my DD started playing soccer at the age of 4. I have probably missed at the most 12 practices. Over dedicated you say? You are probably right. However, I try to keep my backseat coaching to myself. Yes, I do forget occasionally and yell out a "Way to go!" Or take an odd moment to quickly say pick up your feet as she jogs past me. However, I know that coaching is what I pay my coach for.



I am really there because I love to watch her play - games or practice. I love to see the intensity in her face as she squares off. I love it when she does the airplane after scoring. I also love it when I see her reach down to a team mate and help them up or consoles them when they are hurt. How long will I have these moments to enjoy? For me, it isn't as much about being a parent as it is about taking in every moment of seeing her develop as a young girl.



I want her to listen to the coach. I want the coach to see her as I do - sometimes goofy, sometimes funny, sometimes magic on the field. I don't usually sit right next to the practice field. However, I do sit close enough so I can watch what she does while I talk to the other parents. I do the same thing when I take her for private coaching. The coach is paid to train her. I am paid to love her. (And yes, I do sneak in the occassional tips.)



At games I yell for her (just ask anyone who has lost their hearing sitting next to me) but it is to encourage her and not to coach her. I think a Run baby, run is entirely all right! Afterwards, I talk about the really good things she did and if there was something she could have done better, I mention it in passing. (And before you hit me with it, no I am not a saint - for I do have those few moments when she gets the "what were you thinking" sentences.



That is why I like to see her practice as well as play. I don't want to miss the joy, or the ups and downs. None of this will happen again - maybe something similar, but not what happened today. I feel the same way at home and about her brother and sister. Before I know it, she will be 13 and know EVERYTHING!



How many moments will we have with our children? Would I allow any team, group, etc., deny my time with her and reveling in watching her grow up before my eyes, not on your life. I am fine with watching from my car, or from a distance. I may not see every move she makes, but I want to share this experience with her for as long as I have. I know this is business for the clubs and the coaches. But my DD is a big part of my life - one that will slowly change when she gets too old to have me sticking around.



I can only end this missive with an equally mushy ending - Go hug your DD and thank your lucky stars that she was entrusted to you. And next year, if you don't like the contract (assuming you read the fine print), go to another club.

Very well put!