Teams posting open practices daily

All time best, we are looking for a fast goal scoring attack minded forward to complete our roster.

Zizou wrote:All time best, we are looking for a fast goal scoring attack minded forward to complete our roster.

Who can play defense and mid also. Looking for 11 of this type of player.

All time favorite,

Come learn from one of the top skill developers in the area and be part of a professional organization which empowers youth players by providing fundamentally sound individual skill development.

This is a pretty bold statement.

You forgot to get the parents' attention by pronouncing that you are aiming for LHGCL this fall (even though you girls didn't even finish in the top two of PPL D2.  Or D3 or D4, whatever).  That always gets 'em.

I got an email this week from a team in PPL (big club) letting me know they still had spots open beyond the core 11 back from last season. All they are looking for is 5-6 LHGCL quality players and they will then make a run at the QT.

My favorites:

We've got a group of girls that really get along and support each other and no parent drama.

Come learn the beautiful game from a coach that teaches possession style soccer.

Hurry, spots are filling up fast

I love how other coaches get on here and complain about how other teams choose to post and then I get not one but TWO!! Email blast with the complaining coaches team information related to tryouts. "Special Club Tryout Offers from North Texas Soccer" I guess the good part is that the "tryouts" don't start until July 1st according to the email but you do have a menu of choices to select a team to practice with... I'll take the free Lake Highlands team for $1,800/year. I may not know much about the in's and outs of soccer, but I can spot a used car salesman selling lemons from a mile away! Now that's going above and beyond with the posting pitch. Pun intended!!

Here is a good one, "we really are different" plus not willing to give out fee information. Definitely different!

I was an Arena Football punter's coach.
Does that count?

Ha, got you beat Miyagi, I once sat next to a woman at an airport who's nephew was scouted by LA Galaxy.

(Of course, the nephew was 12 and the LA Galaxy team was in rec.)

So I think that qualifies me to coach, so here you go. Seeking 15 super stars who are equally good with both feet, can score from the center line, are all taller than 5'8", have fantastic ball skills, can head the ball all day long, have great attitudes, and who are never injured.

If you fit the above criteria, bring your parents to our practice and be sure they bring their financial records for the past 20 years. We will be going through LHGL QT with the full expectation of zooming our way right to D1. We will also attend every showcase tournament offered both within and outside of the continental United States. The team must cover all coaching (and her entourage) expenses for all tournaments. Our coach knows someone, who knew someone who might have attended an Ivy league school (well it was a school and there was poison Ivy on the grounds). Come to where your daughter will grow (along with my bank account.)

almost ,InaB.
I think my cross training as a Door Gunner coach for Mrs. Baird's makes us pretty much even.

Ah, the door gunner routine eh? But then I have perfected the Waxa on, Waxa off Method so I think that trumps you!!!

How bout we are starting a second team because demand is so great....code for we got more kids in....cut 7 or 8...I mean moved 7 or 8 to the new team and are trying to double the revenue and start another team.

I can't bring my dd out to any of the tryouts, I mean open practices, posted here.  Obviously none of y'all really even like your teams because no one used more than 2 exclamation marks when describing their team.

New all time best , rather than open practice or tryouts it's now player ID camp. That's a very professional spin on things.

I actually heard that there is even a newer group method called IDWYM. (For those unenlightened, I Do want your money.) ;-)

That funny, well played Ina

Zizou wrote:New all time best , rather than open practice or tryouts it's now player ID camp. That's a very professional spin on things.

Gotta love North Texas "rules".

Gotta love the "I'm new to the area" tactics. I'm looking for something in XYZ, TX. XYZ team/coach post about how great the parents/coach are on that team. SMH

Would love to hear an honest looking request like:

This is a part time gig for me, I get to wear cool gear and talk soccer to people that don't know much about it. I Also get a good little chunk of change out of it. But here's the deal the current parents have figured me out, the talented kids have gone to a better team and the good ones have left because they know I was trying to recruit and replace their dd. I didn't expect this so now I'm in deep $hit and the money train might end. We still have enough to play, but need your kid desperately in case someone else figures out my ponzi scheme. Since I'm coming clean I will also let you know that we have several parents that are crazy as hell, but I put up with it so they don't leave. So please come check us out and I promise I won't recruit over your dd like I did the others.....unless the next Mia Hamm comes along, which you would understand that.

I think LHGCL expanding rosters to 18 has not helped. If you were sitting pretty at 14 or 15, you are suddenly "looking to add a player or 2". This is adding further strain to top PPL teams. Every year more and more girls quit, the pool shrinks, so teams will ultimately fail.

I find it interesting how many posters seem to feel like the clubs/ coaches are in a money grab. I have never felt this way...never. I have always felt I get a fair deal with what I pay for.

The post boosts with just are always special.

Just because LH will now allow clubs, and teams to expand the roster to 18 not everyone is gonna do it. I personally know of a few coaches who are looking to cap their roster at 15-16...one or two over the minimum.

16 players is good for us.
We update our post every few days to let people looking know that we are still looking.
The team will make, and we still have our Bye.

We have a good group of girls who lost their coach.
Most of the girls wanted to stay together so a couple of dads with coaching experience stepped up and took over the team.
We are not in it for the money and have some of the lowest fees around.
I don't want your money. I just want a couple of hard working players who want to play soccer.
We have good fields, good coaching, the parents aren't too crazy, and most girls are minutes away from practice.

As a bonus, on my posts I always add a or two.

RightWingDad wrote:Just because LH will now allow clubs, and teams to expand the roster to 18 not everyone is gonna do it. I personally know of a few coaches who are looking to cap their roster at 15-16...one or two over the minimum.

This may work out as intended, but our experience has been different. Every year, the "target" roster size is less than the maximum number. But every year, one or two more players show up just before signing day, and the roster is maxed out.

Let me flip it around another way. What about those parents who call, text or email a coach who is across town multiple times with intentions of coming out to an open practice, extolling the virtues of their kid, but never show up only to then "commit" to a team right in their own area? Why not honor the expressed intention? Why do the okey-doke?