Struggling with this decision

SingleMomofThree--I agree with everyone on here. My daughter went from a team where she got about as much playing time (if not less) than what you are describing, to a team where she not only starts, but plays 75-80% of the time. The difference in her confidence, and the improvements she has made on the field because of this, has been immensely rewarding. I cannot recommend it enough to remove her from her current situation and find a coach/team that will not only believe in her, but allow her to grow and flourish. I don't know what level of play she is at, but even if you go from a D1 to a D2, or a D2 to a D3, etc., or even more around in the same division, at some point, she will find the right fit for her and she'll be happier.

[quote="style points"]

3-4-3 wrote:

style points wrote:

3-4-3 wrote:
So let me get this strait you think a 5th grade kid who is just getting multiplication and division under her built should own a $3k+ decision with full year implication?

That's exactly what I'm saying. The first decision is are you willing to commit to the work required to play at a high level. If not, no way you should be paying anywhere near 3k for her to casually play soccer. If she is all in, and the one out there busting her butt, give her the ability to choose where she wants to play. Parents who feel like they have to control it prevent their daughters from developing a true passion for the game. If she thinks it's your game and not hers she's likely to quit anyway in another few years.

I do not take exception with the 5th grader making a decision to play the sport at a high level and her commitment to put in the work. That should be the kids call. I take exception to giving a 5th grader the full decision when picking a team and a coach- especially when you the parent think it is not in your child's best interest. Those are VERY different things.

I never said it wasn't in her best interest. She would have been fine wherever she went.

I said MY preference was for her to play somewhere else based on MY criteria that had little to do with why she enjoys soccer. Sure I could've pulled a father knows best and forced her. I'd in fact done that several times before in her short soccer career. I felt she earned the right to be given the choice.

I don't know what Academy is like now, but when she was that age it was a grind, and she had played against all the top teams many, many, MANY times. We sat down and weighed pros and cons, but she knew enough about the options to feel good about HER decision. Maybe you have to guide a kid who doesn't have that experience, but for us letting her choose and being held accountable for her choice was one of the best soccer decisions we've made to date.

I never understood benching a player because they're skill is lacking...How the heck are they supposed to get any better!? Practice time doesn't always deliver good examples for field situations.

As far as high school soccer.. You're up for dissapointment,most teams are like watching rec soccer..

If your dd is not playing at least half the game then she needs to find a team where she can. Confidence comes from demonstrated ability, ie games build confidence, not watching other kids play. She needs to be in an environment where making a mistake is a learning experience not a benching experience. The only exception is at the U15-U16 ECLN level when colleges are looking at them. Then it is beneficial to be on the best team she can make. She will get a lot more exposure to college coaches by playing 15-25 mins on a good ecnl team than she will starting in lh at that age.

kickballrules wrote:Just find a KICKBALL team and have your daughter just toe poke it to the fast forward.

Seems like that's about 90% of the teams. Few teams I've seen put 3 good passes together regularly.

hombre wrote:

kickballrules wrote:Just find a KICKBALL team and have your daughter just toe poke it to the fast forward.

Seems like that's about 90% of the teams. Few teams I've seen put 3 good passes together regularly.

High school included.

hombre wrote:

hombre wrote:

kickballrules wrote:Just find a KICKBALL team and have your daughter just toe poke it to the fast forward.

Seems like that's about 90% of the teams. Few teams I've seen put 3 good passes together regularly.

High school included.

You are correct. Even at U14, watch some Lake Highlands games and see how often either team will make three consecutive passes (you can even count consecutive touches by players on the same team if the "pass" was not intentional)- it is quite rare and you can easily watch 15 minutes or longer without seeing a 3 pass sequence.

thatwasweird wrote:You might check out an independent club. It seems there are more options on the girls side that offer good coaching and are more cost-effective than the bigger clubs. If she's going to be one of the girls who is outside of the starting 11, at least you aren't paying thousands of dollars for her to play 15 minutes each game and she can continue to develop against good competition.

The vast majority of improvement happens in practice/training...not in the games themselves...provided the 'coach' has a clue during these training sessions. Think about it....in a game each player is probably 'on the ball' for 90 seconds or LESS....in short sided practice games (5 v 5 etc) which should be done ALL the time in training as opposed to running laps and the rest of this 'fitness' b/s...each player gets MANY more touches on the ball and thus shows marked improvement over a measurable amount of time.