How is the best way to leave a team

Is it better to leave early and let everyone know or wait till the last minute and go with another team

Greyhound or if you can afford it, taxi.

Seriously though, just be honest. Talk to the coach. If he/she reacts badly then you don't have blood on your hands, you're the better person.

There really is no good way. Someone will always be upset about it, whether it be the coach, or teammates or parents.

All that really matters is if your DD wants to go to another practice or play another game with her old squad. If the answer is an emphatic no, then leave now. No point in beating around the bush. Tell the coach and players thank you and wish them luck in their future endeavors but you've decided to move on.

This gives your DD time and energy to focus on a new squad. It also gives your old squad an opportunity to find a replacement during the month of June.

Now, if it's a case that you're ready to move on but you DD isn't quite sure yet... that's the pickle. You and your DD need to be on the same page. Don't worry about everyone else.

Best wishes.

Wait until last minute to avoid conflict, but definitely be honest and upfront with the parents especially and up even the coach. Imo

Stop going to practice, returning calls, and just ignore them - and hope they don't show up with a baby 9 months later asking for child support.

keepme wrote:Is it better to leave early and let everyone know or wait till the last minute and go with another team

Post your daughter's intent to leave in the proper age category on this forum. Might as well go out in a blaze of glory.

Just be honest. Tell your coach ASAP. If you're not 100%, it is still best to be honest that you are looking around. You should never burn bridges. Your dd will probably be playing with some of her current teammates at a future time. You may decide next year to go back to the same coach. Always say goodbye and wish everyone well. IMHO

Is there absolutely no chance she'll be signing the next contract with this team? Even if the worst case scenario happens and it means your DD will be sitting out next season after missing on a contract from another team? If you've made that decision, be gracious but clear that your time with the team is done. Don't draw the decision out at all. The coach will appreciate the honesty and the extra time to plan accordingly.

Is there still a chance that you might sign with the same team again if all her other choices fall apart? If that's the case, then you should "wait till the last minute". You'll probably burn a bridge or two but you need to make the smartest moves for your DD.

The trickiest part about switching teams is to avoid burning bridges. Karma is a b!tch. The world of select soccer in NTX is a lot smaller than you might think. If you give everybody the finger on her old team on July 1st, there's a pretty good chance your DD will be playing against that exact team in late July or early August.

bigtex75081 wrote:Is there absolutely no chance she'll be signing the next contract with this team? Even if the worst case scenario happens and it means your DD will be sitting out next season after missing on a contract from another team? If you've made that decision, be gracious but clear that your time with the team is done. Don't draw the decision out at all. The coach will appreciate the honesty and the extra time to plan accordingly.

Is there still a chance that you might sign with the same team again if all her other choices fall apart? If that's the case, then you should "wait till the last minute". You'll probably burn a bridge or two but you need to make the smartest moves for your DD.

The trickiest part about switching teams is to avoid burning bridges. Karma is a b!tch. The world of select soccer in NTX is a lot smaller than you might think. If you give everybody the finger on her old team on July 1st, there's a pretty good chance your DD will be playing against that exact team in late July or early August.

I somewhat disagree with BT here. First, you can always find a team. If the teams you were trying to do dont work out...someone will need players and many will be glad to take your money.

My DD took last summer off. We went to no tryouts and told no one we were looking and we still got calls after signing day as people were needing players.

Also, if you are posting this you aren't happy. Don't go back for another year. It won't get better. Send and email or give a call to coach or manager, whoever you are closer to, and let them know you are moving on and thank them for their work.

Don't burn the bridge, soccer world is small and there is no reason for it. Let your intentions known and move on....it is normal and won't be a big deal.

Blank77 wrote:Also, if you are posting this you aren't happy. Don't go back for another year. It won't get better.

Quoted and emphasized for truth.

In regards to burning bridges, sometimes it needs to be done. Some of those coaches, especially of the bigger clubs, like to make you think "You leave me and you're done for" when that isn't necessarily the case. Our old coach wasn't known by the majority of coaches within our club.

So if the coach has five or six teams playing at the highest levels and is known on this board, they yeah, be careful. If the coach has a single team and you're wasting away in the lower levels of Plano or Arlington, I say grab the gas and light that sucker up.

Leaving the first week of June shouldn't burn any bridges as long as the coach has a slight grasp of reality.

Thats what I thought and what we did except we told him in April when the season was over and man did it get ugly. The parents are good with it but the coach got mad and wouldnt let us practice or guest play in the may tournys even when he had a replacement and she didnt play. He was a little mean in practice and made some ugly comments about her.She didnt want to go anymore but the team needed her so we played. He was trying to down play her importance to the other girls which I understand. I now understand why people dont say anything and just dont sign but I didnt feel that would be right because she is a keeper and it is hard to find a replacement.

keepme wrote:He was a little mean in practice and made some ugle comments about her.

If the coach did that, why even ask the question? Your DD should be your priority. Nothing else matters.

keepme wrote:Thats what I thought and what we did except we told him in April when the season was over and man did it get ugle. The parents are good with it but the coach got mad and wouldnt let us practice or guest play in the may tournys even when he had a replacement and she didnt play. He was a little mean in practice and made some ugle comments about her.She didnt want to go anymore but the team needed her so we played. He was trying to down play her importance to the other girls which I understand. I now understand why people dont say anything and just dont sign but I didnt feel that would be right because she is a keeper and it is hard to find a replacement.

So, just so I am straight. You told the coach you were going to leave, he refused to sign a practice or guest release, he was mean to your DD, said ugly things about her....but you let her continue to play with him? What were you thinking? Is your alias tornado11?

What you do in this situation, you leave at the end of season and you don't look back. If he doesn't sign a release, you fight through it, start talking to teams, and be at tryouts June 1st. Unless the old coach is being helpful with your search, signing releases, and being supportive - you don't help him by filling in tournaments. Never take your DD to an environment where an adult is belittling her directly or indirectly, confidence is very important at this age and most girls don't understand the motives of adults and may take the things being said to heart.

Blank77 wrote:

keepme wrote:Thats what I thought and what we did except we told him in April when the season was over and man did it get ugle. The parents are good with it but the coach got mad and wouldnt let us practice or guest play in the may tournys even when he had a replacement and she didnt play. He was a little mean in practice and made some ugle comments about her.She didnt want to go anymore but the team needed her so we played. He was trying to down play her importance to the other girls which I understand. I now understand why people dont say anything and just dont sign but I didnt feel that would be right because she is a keeper and it is hard to find a replacement.

So, just so I am straight. You told the coach you were going to leave, he refused to sign a practice or guest release, he was mean to your DD, said ugly things about her....but you let her continue to play with him? What were you thinking? Is your alias tornado11?

What you do in this situation, you leave at the end of season and you don't look back. If he doesn't sign a release, you fight through it, start talking to teams, and be at tryouts June 1st. Unless the old coach is being helpful with your search, signing releases, and being supportive - you don't help him by filling in tournaments. Never take your DD to an environment where an adult is belittling her directly or indirectly, confidence is very important at this age and most girls don't understand the motives of adults and may take the things being said to heart.

I am always amazed how many doormats there are in the world. They PAY people to belittle their kids, act ugly and then wring their hands whether they should leave....amazing simply amazing.

Amen Blank77. I like your insights. I really like the early post, where you said your daughter took summer off and still landed a team. Thats gutsy, but i am sure most all teams will have a slot available and thats something we should all consider doing.

silentparent wrote:

Blank77 wrote:

keepme wrote:Thats what I thought and what we did except we told him in April when the season was over and man did it get ugle. The parents are good with it but the coach got mad and wouldnt let us practice or guest play in the may tournys even when he had a replacement and she didnt play. He was a little mean in practice and made some ugle comments about her.She didnt want to go anymore but the team needed her so we played. He was trying to down play her importance to the other girls which I understand. I now understand why people dont say anything and just dont sign but I didnt feel that would be right because she is a keeper and it is hard to find a replacement.

So, just so I am straight. You told the coach you were going to leave, he refused to sign a practice or guest release, he was mean to your DD, said ugly things about her....but you let her continue to play with him? What were you thinking? Is your alias tornado11?

What you do in this situation, you leave at the end of season and you don't look back. If he doesn't sign a release, you fight through it, start talking to teams, and be at tryouts June 1st. Unless the old coach is being helpful with your search, signing releases, and being supportive - you don't help him by filling in tournaments. Never take your DD to an environment where an adult is belittling her directly or indirectly, confidence is very important at this age and most girls don't understand the motives of adults and may take the things being said to heart.

I am always amazed how many doormats there are in the world. They PAY people to belittle their kids, act ugly and then wring their hands whether they should leave....amazing simply amazing.

flippinA wrote:Amen Blank77. I like your insights. I really like the early post, where you said your daughter took summer off and still landed a team. Thats gutsy, but i am sure most all teams will have a slot available and thats something we should all consider doing.

silentparent wrote:

Blank77 wrote:

keepme wrote:Thats what I thought and what we did except we told him in April when the season was over and man did it get ugle. The parents are good with it but the coach got mad and wouldnt let us practice or guest play in the may tournys even when he had a replacement and she didnt play. He was a little mean in practice and made some ugle comments about her.She didnt want to go anymore but the team needed her so we played. He was trying to down play her importance to the other girls which I understand. I now understand why people dont say anything and just dont sign but I didnt feel that would be right because she is a keeper and it is hard to find a replacement.

So, just so I am straight. You told the coach you were going to leave, he refused to sign a practice or guest release, he was mean to your DD, said ugly things about her....but you let her continue to play with him? What were you thinking? Is your alias tornado11?

What you do in this situation, you leave at the end of season and you don't look back. If he doesn't sign a release, you fight through it, start talking to teams, and be at tryouts June 1st. Unless the old coach is being helpful with your search, signing releases, and being supportive - you don't help him by filling in tournaments. Never take your DD to an environment where an adult is belittling her directly or indirectly, confidence is very important at this age and most girls don't understand the motives of adults and may take the things being said to heart.

I am always amazed how many doormats there are in the world. They PAY people to belittle their kids, act ugly and then wring their hands whether they should leave....amazing simply amazing.

You are right, in the big business for NTXSoccer it is very rare that you will actually have a coach that is in it for the long haul and that cares. So you can not take it personally and you need to do what is best for your DD. If you are leaving - leave quick and cleanly without any drama (at least in front of your kid!) If the coach does not coop - then so be it, it will only hurt his reputation as I am sure you will inform your closer friends on the the team who will believe your information.

You DD will not continue to love soccer if she is not having fun.... other aspects are important but without the fun... well it just will not last or be enjoyable.

silentparent wrote:I am always amazed how many doormats there are in the world. They PAY people to belittle their kids, act ugly and then wring their hands whether they should leave....amazing simply amazing.

Maybe that's because people on here are always saying "Don't burn bridges. NTX soccer is a smaller community than you might think." Or my favorite, "What are you teaching your child by quitting before the season is over? You signed a contract. You need to teach your child to fulfill your commitments."

So parents stay in a bad situation because they fear being labeled as "one of those" parents. And kids fear not getting on another team because supposedly everyone knows everyone.

People need to realize one size advice does not fit all.


Keepme: Obviously you are not going back and it appears your about to be former coach isn't going to sign any guest playing paperwork. If your DD has an opportunity to guest play somewhere else, fill out the form (Blank77 posted a link under Resources), have the coach of the team you want to play with sign it (the receiving coach line) and email it to NTX soccer along with a note saying the contracted coach refuses to sign even though you've made it known you've left the team. Let them sort it out. She may get to guest play in tournaments in June, she may not. But one thing is certain, your old coach cannot force her to play another game with him.

""Maybe that's because people on here are always saying "Don't burn bridges. NTX soccer is a smaller community than you might think." Or my favorite, "What are you teaching your child by quitting before the season is over? You signed a contract. You need to teach your child to fulfill your commitments."

So parents stay in a bad situation because they fear being labeled as "one of those" parents. And kids fear not getting on another team because supposedly everyone knows everyone. "'


true but off base. if the coach is burning a bridge with you and belittling your daughter only a doormat honors that agreement because the first and top agreement you signed was to be a parent and protect your child and watch out for them. honor your commitment to your kid first always....

He never cursed at her but the stuff he said would always get back to her. IE He told one girl that if my dd signed he would bench her for the season.We kept playing in hope we would get a guest play form signed and we did get one signed for late June because we played in one.This last tourney he told us friday night that he didnt need her for the tourney saturday morning but wouldnt sign the guest play form so we went out to watch her new team. We played because she didnt want to let down any of her teammates and she said Ill play for the team but not for the coach. We are moved on now and able to play with her new team and she is excited about playing soocer. We let everone one the team know that we are not leaving because of them or the coach or the organization but because she has a chance to play up a year with alot of girls she goes to school with and will be going to highschool with. We may should have left in April when we asked if he would let us at least practice with the new team and cont to play tourneys with him but he said no. What good would it have been to quit then he wouldnt have signed any guest play forms and she would have had to sit for all of may and june.

So who is the coach? Pretty sure other parents might want to know information like this about individuals before signing. If this site isn't about players/parents sharing negative experiences with coaches, what good is it? You know many coaches are calling the former head coach on their prospects to get dirt on them, we should be sharing our experiences here. This is only place we can fight back a little and right now is the only time the player has any power.

Don't look back, Keepme. Don't regret leaving. Your DD will be all the better for it. TRUST ME.

I posted this question to see if I handled this right by letting the coach know early that we wouldnt be back and if God forbid we ever have to move again what most people thought was the best corse. I still think letting everyone know what your plans are early is best for the other players on the team because you are a team. Why does ntx soccer give all the control to the cach even after the season is over. June should be open practice and open tourneys except most of the tournys are in May.

I dont want to tell who it is Blank77 I understand your point but if we started doing that this blog would turn ugle fast. Coaches would start making up stuff about others to get players every ticked off parent every week would unload on there team and coach blogs are suppose to be anonymous so we can talk and learn from our experences without hurting people

keepme wrote:I posted this question to see if I handled this right by letting the coach know early that we wouldnt be back and if God forbid we ever have to move again what most people thought was the best corse. I still think letting everyone know what your plans are early is best for the other players on the team because you are a team. Why does ntx soccer give all the control to the cach even after the season is over. June should be open practice and open tourneys except most of the tournys are in May.

Every situation and every person is different but definitely agree that letting the team (both the coach and other player/parents) know as early as possible is the best approach. Over communicate and be honest. Definitely do not mislead or lie.